Review for Xtreme Shock--Blue Raspberry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Your best bet when it comes to getting a hold of this one is to find a store with a really well developed fitness supplement section, typically in the company of Bang, Spike, Redline, etc.—and if there’s nowhere around you that matches that description, just buy online.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

Not really sure what to make of this one.  First off, the label is energy drink to the core—bold font and colors, lots of lightning, etc.  But the label really isn’t the first thing that catches your attention—it’s more the fact that there’s a bottle which looks like the one my favorite teriyaki sauce comes in filled with a liquid that looks like a translucent version of that dreadful Hog Wash garbage my son likes from time to time.  The result is a generally confused look that grabs your attention quicker than any aesthetic appeal it might have, and I’m not sure that inducing perplexity in consumers is really the way to go when selling your product.

TASTE—9

In contrast with its immature appearance, which leads you to expect something sickeningly sweet and unabashedly fake, this is actually quite good—a fairly sour version of the classic flavor we all know very well with the sweetness dialed down to a significant and pleasing extent.  Most people using it to power their workout probably aren’t going to take the time to do this, but if you get the urge, try it over ice—it’s even better that way.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Xtreme Shock is marketed as a workout supplement, with claims of benefit including energy, strength, stamina, focus, recovery, etc.  It would seem intuitive, then, that one would drink it before a workout and evaluate it thusly.  Well…I didn’t drink this one before my workout.  Why on earth, then, am I posting this review?  The answer is because I found it to be exceptionally effective as a post-workout beverage.  Know the feeling you get hours after a good workout, where you feel fatigued and sore and particularly disinclined towards movement?  Well, I needed something to fix that, so I went ahead and downed the nearest energy beverage—which happened to be this.  Worked like a freaking charm—didn’t take long before I was up, about, and thoroughly energized, all muscle fatigue virtually gone and the aforementioned disinclination vanished.

Only problem—I’m allergic to something in this drink; it makes me itchy.  Pretty bearable when it’s just my hands, but really annoying once the scalp and torso get involved.  Real bummer to be allergic to such a nice drink.

KICK (DURATION)—8.5

Lasts about three and a half to four hours.  No crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.5

As a revitalizating beverage I like this drink a whole heck of a lot; in reviewing the other flavors I will be sure to drink them pre-workout just so I can evaluate their performance under those circumstances.  In the meantime—if you don’t mind forking out almost three bucks and aren’t allergic to whatever the heck it is that makes me itchy, consider this as your recovery drink.

WEBSITE: nutrientscience.com

KEYWORDS: Xtreme Shock Blue Raspberry drink review, performance energy, workout supplement, zero carbs, zero sugar, zero calories

Review for Loop Blueberry Pomegranate

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Not listed; est. 160-200 mg.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

K-Mart brand.  Need I say more?

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—3

I really just don’t get the concept of these drinks.  I mean, I get that it’s the K-Mart brand and that they didn’t put a lot of money/thought into it, but this looks as though people worked around the clock just to make sure that the look didn’t make a lick of sense.  First of all—why on earth would you name it “Loop?”  All the good names taken, so you just picked the first that sounded passable?  Second—what’s with the funky inkblot background?  Third—could you have made the print job any more granulated and shoddy?  Fourth—the ‘Smart Sense’ stamp looks terrible.  Lose it as quickly as possible.

TASTE—4

I used to like this flavor alright.  Wasn’t very smooth or taste particularly like pomegranates or blueberry, but if I was in the mood for a sugary soda of some kind I would go for it.  Now the flavor is one of the most overdone on the market, a least common denominator sort of beverage that ranks down there with Red Bull clone and crap fruit punch.  The mere idea brings a contemptuous sneer to my face, an aspect that now remains fixed as I make my way through the can.  You want the flavor done right?  Grab a Xyience Xenergy Blue Pom Premium (they might call it Blueberry Pomegranate now)—any other incarnations are insulting and unnecessary.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

The one surprising thing about these is that the sugared variants kick like a boss—enough even that you forget for a moment that you’ve just slarged down roughly 25% of your daily intake of carbohydrates via high fructose corn syrup.  Of course (in my experience), if you don’t burn it off, you pay for it later; but in the meantime it’s something you can easily enjoy.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Five hours; crash if consumed without ample physical exertion soon after the fact.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

They kick well, but there are so many more palpable and equally effective ways to get your kick that I’m not even thinking about recommending it.

WEBSITE: kmart.com

KEYWORDS: Loop Blueberry Pomegranate energy drink review, bargain energy drink

Review for NoDoz Energy Shot--Orange

CAFFEINE CONTENT

115 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

If you really need me to tell you where to find these, here—go to Wal-Mart.  Odds are, however, you already know that from your own excursions or from ads on the Internet—Novartis is being aggressive enough about getting the word out that most people are bound to by now.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

Can’t say I like the orange on blue quite as much as the purple on blue the berry sported, but it’s equally tidy and still has that NoDoz logo going for it—which, when it comes right down to it, is about the only thing that matters here when it comes to these shots getting their spot in the market.

TASTE—6

Like the berry flavor, this one’s agreeable by shot standards—but all that means is that I didn’t feel like I had to gag it down, so that’s faint praise indeed.  It’s pretty short on aftertastes, isn’t too harsh, and as is it’s good enough that if I were a shot guy I would prefer it to the flavor other orange-flavored shots.  I do, however, have other orange-flavored energy beverages with which I’m positively enamored, and next to them this one doesn’t stand a chance.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6.5

If you’re like me, having been spoiled by the likes of Spike, Bang, Endorush (review coming soon), etc., this is going to seem pretty lackluster, almost stripped-down.  If, however, you’re generally sparing and prudent with your energy consumption, the mid-level alertness sans jitters is going to make for a smooth and pleasant ride.

KICK (DURATION)—6.5

Somewhere around two and a half hours, two hours and 45 minutes.  No crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—6.33

If my recommendation’s worth anything, I think you should try this at least once and get a feel what the bare-bones energy formula does for you.  If you’re a longtime NoDoz fan—chances are you aren’t going to be let down.  Enjoy your shot.  Either way, leave your thoughts in the comments below.

WEBSITE: nodoz.com

KEYWORDS: NoDoz Orange energy shot review, zero carbs, zero sugar, alertness aid, pharmaceutical caffeine

Review for NoDoz Energy Shot--Berry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

115 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Though still technically an emerging product, chances are you and everyone else already know where to find NoDoz shots—Novartis is making Wal-Mart the focus of its aggressive marketing campaign, and if the brand name means anything (which it probably does), chances are that’s all it’s going to need…for now.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

The colors are attractive, the motif is clean, caffeine content listed, no lame paragraph lauding the excellence of the product—but chances are most people aren’t going to care much about any of that.  If anything, it’s that prominent logo front and center that’s going to reel people in, and if that’s got them hooked, nothing else is going to matter.

TASTE—6

I was actually surprised how well Novartis managed to pull this off—as many shots as I’ve had, I knew when I saw that this was berry-flavored that it would be prudent to brace myself for a really nasty 5 Hour Energy clone.  Taking a whiff after I got the bottle open, I was quite surprised to note that this actually had a pleasant berry fragrance—shots usually smell about as bad as they taste.  The second surprise came in the flavor itself—it didn’t taste half bad—I actually tasted berries, with minimal (for a shot) interference from the artificial sweeteners, etc.  It’s not something I’d drink every day for the flavor, but it’s absolutely one of the better berry shots I’ve had.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6.5

NoDoz tablets are, in a way, the original energy supplement, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the shots stick to their roots, toting 115 mg of caffeine, and that’s it—no B vitamins, no ginseng, no milk thistle or anything of the sort.  As for effects, you can expect a modest boost—you won’t be wired out of your mind and you certainly won’t be jittery; if you’re used to the likes of Monster and Rockstar it will certainly be unfamiliar territory and you might very well feel cheated.  People familiar with the tablets, however, will certainly feel gratified with the clean (and almost lenient) sense of alertness they proffer.  My advice: for a drive of medium length where you’re feeling somewhat tired or a late afternoon study session when you need to put a few in a few more hours before you hit the sack, hit the NoDoz.  For intense fatigue or a trip to the gym, look elsewhere.

KICK (DURATION)—6.5

Got somewhat less than three hours of energy out of this, no crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

NoDoz is not my favorite energy product (or even my favorite energy shot), but I do appreciate it for what it is.  Longtime fans of the tablets: enjoy your shots.  Newcomers: it’s worth trying at least once.  Do so, and please, all, leave your thoughts on the matter.

WEBSITE: nodoz.com

KEYWORDS: NoDoz Berry energy shot review, zero carbs, zero sugar, alertness aid, pharmaceutical caffeine

Review for 4C Energy Rush--Tea

CAFFEINE CONTENT

60 mg/serving (1/2 tsp)

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Wal-Mart acquisition.  Need I say more?

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

As with all of these water additives, points are given for making it so convenient to carry such gratuitous quantities of energy everywhere you go, be it in a pocket, purse or whatever; also appreciated is the listing of the caffeine content.  Aesthetically, this one is interesting—kind of like the person designing the label got creative with different colors of chalk on a blackboard and decided it looked great.  Only downside is that it blends in so easily with its neighboring water additives that unless you know where to look you might pass it over without even knowing it, other than that it earns my thumbs up.

TASTE—7.5

Let me start by saying this: tea drinkers, this is not a product for you.  There is little to no actual tea in here; it’s so far down below the “natural and artificial flavors” in the ingredients list that it might as well be considered homeopathic.  That being said, if your palate is not too discriminatory, you might enjoy the slightly sour, moderately sweetened earthiness of this concoction—not quite instant Monster Rehab, but still a palpable enough way to get your morning dose of caffeine.

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

Like the Mio Energy water enhancers (whose innovation this was doubtless inspired by), this is an exceptionally versatile product, capable of giving you any sort of boost ranging from mild (1/2 tsp or one serving) to exceptionally intense (3 tsp/1 tbsp or six servings…not advised on a regular basis).  Start low and work your way up, and you should be able to find a buzz that’s right for you.

KICK (DURATION)—10

You can get anywhere from an hour to over five with this one, depending on how much you use.  No crash recalled.

THE PRODUCT OVERALL—9.17

This is definitely not going to please everyone in the taste department as much as it did me, but for those who do like the flavor, it’s inexpensive, versatile and about as convenient as you could ask for.  Try it and leave your thoughts.

WEBSITE: 4c.com

KEYWORDS: 4C Energy Rush water enhancer review, zero carbs, zero calories, zero sugar, diet

Review for Red Rain Hydroplane

CAFFEINE CONTENT

142 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Used to be as easy as visiting your local Dollar Tree—though I’ve noticed that supplies of this one in particular have dwindled considerably.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Color’s nice, the motif generally unexciting.  Besides mentioning how strange it is to see that tramp stamp design over and over and still have no clue whatsoever what it’s there for, that’s all there really is to say.

TASTE—5

I’ve been okay with this flavor in times past—the blueberry pomegranate flavor that doesn’t really taste like either of those things—just because of its relative agreeability compared to numerous other (particularly Red Rain) offerings.  Fact of the matter is, though, I’m getting really tired of it.  This flavor started out short of its potential, and short of its potential it’s stayed—and with industry leaders coming out with powerhouse energy beverages (think Monster’s Rehab line, or Red Bull’s Editions line) on a relatively regular basis, there’s no excuse for this sort of mediocrity to continue the way it has.  Know what happens to a stagnant pool of water?  Well, same deal here.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Same as every Red Rain beverage—very, very, very, very average.  Need to be awake?  Moderately functional?  You can count on any Red Rain beverage, including this one, for that.  Just don’t expect anything more.

KICK (DURATION)—7

These last about three hours; crash ensues afterwards—unless, I’ve found, that I work that sugar off at the gym.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

There is nothing whatsoever that is even remotely remarkable about this beverage, and the experience of drinking it/feeling the effects can hardly be called such.  Just pass this one over.  Someone who hasn’t read this review will grab it.

WEBSITE: redrain.ca

KEYWORDS: Red Rain Hydroplane energy drink review, bargain energy drink

Review for Hi Ener-G

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Not listed

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

This, like the Red Rain energy shot I just reviewed, is a K-Mart acquisition.  K-Mart being the (wholly undeservedly) nigh-omnipresent chain that it is, you should have no difficulty finding this—unless supply varies from chain to chain.  I don’t make it a habit to explore K-Marts outside of my own, so I have no idea if that’s the case or not.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—5

The main aesthetic appeal of this shot is that it looks different—and by different, I mean it’s not an obvious 5 Hour clone.  The tall bottle and rich colors are a nice change from the norm; my only complaints are 1) the failure of the company to disclose the caffeine contents of the shots, 2) the incredibly ridiculous name/cheesy misspelling of that name, and 3) the shrink-wrapping job on my bottle—it doubles over in front, distorting the logo.  Kind of tacky when a company is that careless about the bottling of their product, isn’t it?

TASTE—0

I was pleasantly surprised to see in my last trip to K-Mart that this product had been marked down—from $5.99 to a mere $2.95 for a pack of three.  I saw it as an opportunity to get my hands on some inexpensive energy that I hadn’t even gotten around to reviewing—as it turns out, however, I should have taken it as a warning.

Hi Ener-G is one of the nauseating things I have ever had the displeasure of gagging down.  Ever been to an elderly couple’s house, where the carpet and furniture have been around since the early 1960’s an haven’t been deep-cleaned in at least two decades, and everything is rank with the musk of half a century of accumulation of dead skin cells and B.O.?  Well, now you have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to taste that—I say once, even though it’s sold in the 3-pack, because I can almost certainly guarantee you will never, ever in a million years want to do it again.

As far as which elements of the flavor are actually to blame, I’m going to point the finger at the tea flavoring (which is positively rancid) and the energy blend (which is excruciatingly bitter)—particularly the ginseng, which is not masked by the tea flavor as the product description on the website indicates it should be and leaves a hot, acrid sensation lingering in your mouth after you swallow that is as unpleasant as anything else out there.

Whatever the problematic agents, this stuff is foul almost beyond belief, and reason enough to avoid the product permanently.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7.5

All of the above is a pity, because the kick here is one of a superb energy shot.  When you’re in the throes of its effects, you really feel as though you’ve taken an energizing vitamin supplement rather than your run-of-the-mill energy shot, if that makes any sense.  If not—let’s just say that while the strength is only slightly above average, it is characterized by a general lack of harshness or heaviness that characterizes a number of other energy products, and feels good enough that I would return to the product again, were it not for the atrocious flavor.

KICK (DURATION)—7.5

Somewhere between three, three and a half hours.  No appreciable crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5

Make no mistake—this is a product that kicks well enough that I’m sure the company meant well when they formulated it.  Problem is I cannot in good conscious recommend it—it tastes like some sort of poison or emetic, and no excellence in quality or quantity of kick ever begin to make up for that.

WEBSITE: windmillvitamins.com

KEYWORDS: Hi Ener-G energy shot review

Review for Red Rain Energy Shot--Watermelon

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Not listed, but certainly moderate.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

Readily available at your local K-Mart (which are themselves easier to find than they probably should be). 

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

This small red bottle holds some aesthetically appeal in the fact that it is brightly colored and clean, though compared to the hordes of other energy products on the market it’s not particularly remarkable.  Points come off for Red Rain’s failure to disclose the caffeine content and that inexplicable, tramp stamp-like design wrapping around the bottle at the lid.

TASTE—4

Red Rain’s watermelon energy shot is not so bad that it can be called a perversion of the flavor of the much-beloved summer fruit (as was Redline’s offering), but as far as any actual appeal is concerned it is still decidedly lacking.  It has a recognizable watermelon influence, but that’s where the resemblance ends, and the artificial sweeteners and bitter medicinal ingredients take over and give it that characteristically disagreeable energy shot bite.  Watermelon fans will certainly offended, everyone else simply put off.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Average.  Moderate alertness, no jitters.

KICK (DURATION)—7

Three hours, no crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—6

As you might have noticed, I’m really grasping at straws trying to get this product reviewed—and that should tell you more about the shot than any extended rant I could write.  This shot offers so little by way of actual substance that it’s scarcely enough of an experience to review.  Avoid this one in favor of other readily available and vastly superior products.

WEBSITE: redrainenergy.ca

KEYWORDS: Red Rain Watermelon energy shot review, zero carbs, zero calories, zero sugar, diet

Review for Independence Energy

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

This is absolutely one of my more random acquisitions—an unexpected find at a gas stop/restaurant smack-dab in the middle of rural Idaho.  I don’t think things get any more scattered than that.  Strikes me as one of those drinks that may one day flood Big Lots, if you catch my meaning.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

The concept behind this patriotic energy drink is just fine—but the overall execution is generally lackluster.  On top of the cheap appearance afforded the can by generic template and graphics that look like they were pulled right out Microsoft Word’s clip art collection, the whole thing looks like it’s been sitting out in the sun for at least a month—all bleached and faded, much like the recently reviewed Bang—Champagne Cola.  I’d take this one back to the drawing board—sharpen up the design, embolden the colors, make everything look less low-end.  If the company could do that, they might very have an aesthetic winner on their hands.

TASTE—3

Speaking of going back to the drawing board—this flavor profile really needs some serious work.  It’s one thing that it’s not at all agreeable, but the real nail in the coffin is the fact that I cannot for the life of me tell what it’s supposed to be.  It’s sweet and heavy (a characteristic absent from the sugar free version but present here courtesy of the HFCS), but that’s about as descriptive as I can be—I don’t even have the luxury of calling it anything so vague as “fruity” or “berry-like.”  The whole thing is such a chaotic mess that it’s next to impossible to enjoy—you spend all your time puzzling it out, half out of sincere interest, half to place a finger on why you find it so disagreeable.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

This kicks much like the sugar free version—starts off awesome (9/10), then settles quickly on the high end of average—except with this version, you feel slightly more jittery…or at least I did.  Strange how things affect me like that.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Good for about three and a half hours, sans crash if you use it pre-workout (not something I recommend—you’ll burn off all the sugar, but it still feels so heavy in your stomach), and with plenty of crash if you don’t.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

Frankly, the VFW Foundation (beneficiaries of a portion of the proceeds of this drink) deserves a better drink than this.  Consumers deserve a better drink than this.  As indicated in my review of the sugar-free version, I wholly support the cause behind the drink—but the drink’s a total dud.

Now…I wouldn’t dream of discouraging you from buying this drink as I have done without wholeheartedly encouraging consumers to get involved in the VFW Foundation’s cause.  In their own words:

“Through a variety of programs and services, VFW Foundation fills in governmental assistance gaps for troops abroad, military families back in the U.S. and America’s often-forgotten veterans.  These programs support all branches of the military, are provided at no cost to the recipients and require no Veterans of Foreign Wars affiliation.”

The VFW Foundation supports programs that:

“Reward America’s military heroes and their families by sponsoring admission to popular entertainment events and attractions.

“Provide prepaid phone time and sponsored “Free Call Days” allowing deployed troops and hospitalized veterans to connect with loved ones.

“Support troops and their families in need of financial assistance for housing, medical or basic assistance needs with a one-time grant.

“Sponsor ‘welcome home’ and ‘send off’ events to boost the morale of returning or deployed military units.

“Offer military veterans, regardless of when or where they served, with VFW counsel and assistance to successfully navigate VA entitlement and disability claims.”

In my mind, these are all very worthy causes, and wholly deserving of public support.  Great news is you aren’t required to drink Independence Energy to do it—to support the VFW Foundation without buying the pint of (heavily) sweetened bile, please follow the link below:

http://www.vfwfoundation.org/get-involved

WEBSITE: independencedrinks.com

KEYWORDS: Independence Energy drink review

Review for Independence Energy Sugar Free

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

This and its high-calorie counterpart were found at a gas stop/restaurant in Rupert, Idaho—and when you find things in places like that, it’s usually the only place in the entire state.   I don’t know where else you’d go to find it, but I’d bet on it being pretty difficult to come by.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

I like the idea behind Independence Energy; I think the packaging could use some work.  I think the design works and I appreciate the listing of the caffeine content and what not, but there are little things here and there that just need work—colors need to be bolder, everything needs to look less pixilated, etc.  This is particularly true of the sugar free version, which is indistinguishable from the other except for the faded color (and the miniscule “Sugar Free” on the front).

TASTE—3

One thing you cannot say about Independence Energy is the fact that the flavor profile is not unique—that being said, I’ll be blasted if I know what the heck it’s supposed to be.  I can’t place any adjective on it that seems to fit—not tropical, not fruity, not berry-esque, nothing of the sort.  The appearance doesn’t help, either—usually the color at least helps you get some idea of what they were going for by its association with the flavor, but in this case you have no such luck; the drink comes out a strange light teal and slowly oxidizes to an equally strange mid-green.  The only thing I can really tell you is that I am not a fan, and that it’s one of the less agreeable 16 ounces I’ve been through in a while.  You know…I guess I can tell you that it’s not “meaty”—which is about as helpful as anything else I’ve been able to say.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Independence Energy—Sugar Free starts with a good deal of promise (during the first five minutes I found myself at a satisfactory 9 out of 10), but soon settles into something more standard—high end of average without jitters, like so many better-tasting, more common and often equally inexpensive beverages.  If you’re into that sort of thing, grab a NOS Zero.  Or any of Monster’s Rehab line (except, perhaps, for Protean and Pink Lemonade), for that matter.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Three and a half hours, with no apparent crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

I’m really, really, really not a fan of this energy drink—energywise it offers nothing new, and flavorwise…geez, do I really need to go into that again?  There are plenty of better ways of getting your caffeine fix without having to get through a can of Independence Energy to do it—I have named a few, and I recommend going with one of those.

That being said, I am absolutely a fan of the Veterans of Foreign Wars Foundation, the non-profit organization that this drink was designed to benefit (a portion of the proceeds from the sale of these drinks go towards said foundation).  I wouldn’t dream of discouraging you from buying this drink as I have done without wholeheartedly encouraging consumers to get involved in the VFW Foundation’s cause.  In their own words:

“Through a variety of programs and services, VFW Foundation fills in governmental assistance gaps for troops abroad, military families back in the U.S. and America’s often-forgotten veterans.  These programs support all branches of the military, are provided at no cost to the recipients and require no Veterans of Foreign Wars affiliation.”

The VFW Foundation supports programs that:

“Reward America’s military heroes and their families by sponsoring admission to popular entertainment events and attractions.

“Provide prepaid phone time and sponsored “Free Call Days” allowing deployed troops and hospitalized veterans to connect with loved ones.

“Support troops and their families in need of financial assistance for housing, medical or basic assistance needs with a one-time grant.

“Sponsor ‘welcome home’ and ‘send off’ events to boost the morale of returning or deployed military units.

“Offer military veterans, regardless of when or where they served, with VFW counsel and assistance to successfully navigate VA entitlement and disability claims.”

In my mind, these are all very worthy causes, and wholly deserving of public support.  Great news is you aren’t required to drink Independence Energy to do it—to support the VFW Foundation without buying the pint of sweetened bile, please follow the link below:

http://www.vfwfoundation.org/get-involved

WEBSITE: independencedrinks.com

KEYWORDS: Independence Energy Sugar Free energy drink review, zero carbs, zero calories, zero sugar, diet

Review for Bang--Champagne Cola

CAFFEINE CONTENT

357 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

If interested, keep an eye on the supplement section of your local grocery store (it is absent at larger chains) or fitness-oriented nutrition centers and chances are you should be able to get your hands on it—otherwise it’s available online.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—5

This is a can that had the potential to look so good and yet turned out so…not.  There were a few things that could have been done to improve the look considerably—employ a matte finish to saturate the colors (as with this drink’s fruit punch counterpart), lose the grossly pixilated bullet, tweak the VPX logo so it doesn’t clash so badly with the rest of the can—but as is it looks semi-bleached and bland, almost appears as though it’s been sitting in the high desert sun for a month or so.

TASTE—8

When I was down in Guatemala, I was acquainted with a few folks from El Salvador, who raved regularly about a beverage available there called “Kola Champagne”—Eng. champagne cola, which is what we have here.  I never had the chance to try it myself, but descriptions of the flavor ranged from bubble gum to cream soda to a non-alcoholic champagne.  Only being acquainted with those first two (I’m a teetotaler), let me say that 1) this doesn’t taste like either of those things, and 2) I don’t know how the devil to describe the way this tastes.  I do know that I quite like it, and could drink it for the flavor alone (if it weren’t so d*mn strong that I’d hesitate to indulge myself in that regard more than once a month), but that’s about all there is to say on that.

KICK (INTENSITY)—10+

Bang is hands down one of the most potent energy beverages I’ve ever had.  It’s so strong I’m feeling the need to go back and demote a number of energy drinks to which I assigned high intensity ratings—it’s drinks like this that tend to put a reviewer into perspective.

But let’s break it down bit by bit, so you have an idea of what you should expect.  Chock full of stuff like creatine and 357 mg of caffeine (should have known from the parallels I could draw to a powerful revolver caliber that this would pack a punch), I drank this before my evening at the gym, about 30 minutes before I headed in.  By the time I was ready to hit Jacob’s Ladder, I was vibrating under the influence of a truly explosive degree of energy.  I tore through that thing like I never had before (583 calories burned), and even though I had begun to feel the effects of not hydrating properly beforehand about 20 minutes into it, I only slowed down marginally, and finished strong.  After a very long draft of water at the drinking fountain and a slight break to let that get into my system, I set about my pectoralis major/triceps brachii workout, constantly on and often pushing myself past the edge of my physical limits.

After the fact, I headed home, and about seven hours after I drank it, I should have been ready for bed.  Remember what I said about drinking it in the evening?  Big mistake.  I lay there tossing and turning for at least a half hour before I dozed off, and even then I felt like I was just barely beneath the surface, almost like when your head is tilted back underwater so that your eyes are covered but your nose and mouth aren’t.  I was like that for about an hour before my wife coming to bed woke me up, and I settled in to a deeper sleep.

Bottom line—this is a gym beverage, suited to hardcore fitness junkies more than anything else.  It’s also an enormously potent beverage, not to be underestimated or drunk casually by anyone—including the aforementioned junkies.

KICK (DURATION)—10+

As I indicated—seven hours of energy.  Probably more than that.  I woke up the next morning still a little uncertain about whether it had worn off or not.

THE DRINK OVERALL—10

I’m giving my “thumbs up” for the drink, but I’m a little uneasy about it.  It is an immensely powerful supplement, and needs to be treated with due respect.  So…if you’re in excellent health, are of age and have need of such a thing, go for it.  Otherwise, do be smart and get your boost from something significantly less potent.

WEBSITE: vpxsports.com

KEYWORDS: Bang energy drink review, workout supplement, zero carb, zero calorie, zero sugar, sugar free

Review for SportMax Energy

CAFFEINE CONTENT

140 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

From the ‘Retailer Info’ section of the company website:  “Retail distribution is in the process of being established in local markets. We'll provide information as it develops.  In the meantime, order online in our online store.”

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

SportMax Energy is a rather straightforward energy product, employing in their packaging the approach of the country preacher who told his congregation what he was going to tell them, told them, and then, once he had finished, told them what he had just told them.  Everything about it declares its intent as an energy product geared towards athletes or just about anyone leading an active lifestyle—the very name “SportMax”, the graphics traversing the midsection of the bottle (who look uncannily like the running 5 Hour Energy guy doing a whole lot more than just running), slogans, the mini-informative paragraphs on the front—there’s really no mistaking their intent, which, from what we will see in the “kick” sections, works out just fine.

TASTE—6.5

I was told that this was intended to be a tropical fruit-flavored product—something which, from my experience with the product, I don’t suppose I ever would have guessed on my own, so it’s well that I asked to clarify so I wasn’t guilty of putting forth false information regarding it.  First thing I noticed when I opened the bottle was that this didn’t smell like a 5 Hour Energy clone—which I appreciated; you have no idea how tiring those clones get after reviewing so many shots.  The first swig woke me up really quick—it had an extremely sour peachy flavor, with a thickness that reminded me a bit of the light syrup a canned fruit cocktail came in.  It didn’t mellow any with subsequent sips, and by the time I was finished I was okay with the fact that I was only getting two ounces of the stuff per shot—it’s a bit intense for more than that.  Additional noteworthy details include the fact that there is no medicinal aftertaste that plagues most (read: almost all) energy shots, and that the presence of stevia as the sweetener wasn’t tremendously obvious—a blessing, considering I find the taste of it hard to stomach.  All in all I’d say this is one of the more pleasant energy shots I’ve had, but it’s not something you would drink for the flavor alone.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

I get sample requests quite often, but it’s pretty rare to have a company actually make it a point to invite me to make comparisons between their products and those of the industry leaders—in fact, I think that’s only happened twice now.  Anyway, interested in taking them up on that, I decided to match this against a new favorite of mine that I was sure would perform well (I don’t let products I get as samples off easy, especially when they’re gutsy enough to challenge me to make comparisons): 5 Hour Energy Extra Strength—Sour Apple.  In both cases, I took these just before I went to the gym.  We were away for the seven-week break between semesters, and I didn’t get a lot of lifting in during that time, so the first week was pretty brutal.  My workout entails 30 minutes/3000 feet/565 calories on Jacob’s Ladder, followed by a three-minute break or so and then a half hour of weightlifting.

In the case of 5 Hour Energy Extra Strength, I felt noticeably more alert, sharp and focused, and my workout did feel reasonably facilitated.  I was still dead tired by the time I hopped off Jacob’s Ladder, and the moment of rest after the fact was still most welcome.  I was able to get through the rest of my workout just fine, and sit through my classes all focused and what not.

In the case of SportMax, I didn’t feel that same alertness.  I didn’t feel particularly sharp or jittery or chatty or anything like that.  In fact, I only felt slightly more awake than I had before until I started exercising—at which point I felt unstoppable.  Jacob’s Ladder was as close to being a breeze as it’s ever been, and when I was finished with that, I felt no need for a break—just needed a long draft of water before it was on to the weights, which I got through with surprising ease (considering how long I’d gone without lifting).  Showered up and got to class, and after about 45 minutes or so, started feeling a bit drowsy—but then, this was never advertised as an academically-oriented energy shot.

KICK (DURATION)—8

I figure this will do for you just fine as long as you’re reasonably efficient with your workout—I figure if I need to be at it for longer than an hour to get any results, then I’m doing something wrong.  Those crazy all-day people might have a different experience entirely—I don’t know for sure how long this lasts as far as physical energy is concerned, because I only spent about 60 minutes at the gym, and after it took just a bit to wear off.  What I do know is that for my purposes, it was absolutely fantastic.

THE SHOT OVERALL—7.33

As you might have figured by this point, I am absolutely a fan of SportMax.  I know in times past I’ve raved over diverse products that I’ve found to be helpful at the gym—and those reviews still hold, but none of those products have facilitated my workout to the same extent as this one, and I am absolutely looking forward to having this shot in my gym bag at all times.

WEBSITE: sportmaxenergy.com

KEYWORDS: SpotMax energy shot review, physical energy, workout shot