CAFFEINE
CONTENT
Probably
160 mg.
EASE
IN ACQUISITION—4
Picked
this one up at Big Lots, which means it in all likelihood had a run somewhere
and failed miserably. If you
actually liked the drink, don’t worry—I’m willing to bet we’ll be seeing it
there in the energy drink graveyard for a long, long, long time.
APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—3
Never
before have I seen a drink that fits in so well with its Big Lots habitat—it is
incredibly bland, and blends into its
surroundings so well that you would think it looks upon consumers as predators
and has, as a result, evolved camouflage to avoid being found. If you’re on the hunt and stop by Big
Lots, be sure to pay attention—X Games Energy makes for a crafty prey item, and
if you’re not careful you may leave without even knowing it was there.
TASTE—2
Drinking
X Games Energy caused me to recall an experience with an acquaintance I had
when I was younger. This wasn’t a
finicky individual—in fact, cover whatever it was in that industrial nacho
cheese stuff, and chances are he would eat it. In any case, one day he decided to experiment with soda—mixing just about any carbonated
beverage he could get his hands on, from Sierra Mist to Diet Mountain Dew to
Shasta Root Beer to whatever the heck else there was nearby. He felt quite pleased with
his…creation, and proffered me a mug, which I, out of politeness, drank,
watching in wonder as he downed it by the gallon.
I’m
confident the same approach was used to create X Games Energy—this is the most unfocused,
disjointed, confusing, chaotic mess of an energy drink I have ever had. The can designates the flavor as “wild
berry” (actually, it’s one word on the can—‘wildberry’)—which I suppose is as
good a guess as any. Big Red Boots
calls it a Red Bull clone—with reason; I’m sure they put some of that flavor in
there also…I think I did pick up a hint of it.
Bottom
line—there is no one identifiable flavor in here. There are untold zillions
of them; each with their own conflicting degrees of sweetness, tartness, and
whatever other attributes you can pin down on an individual flavor. It’s almost like what would result if
the trains involved in the wrecks from The
Fugitive or Super 8 were carrying
tanks full of random flavors—except, maybe, for key lime.
I
was able to get this down without any difficulty, for which I must give it a
point (another goes to it for using sucrose rather than HFCS, so it will only
kill you half as fast), but I have to make note the spectacular, almost
awe-inspiring badness with which this drink was executed. When it comes to its sheer manic
character, X Games Energy has no peers.
KICK
(INTENSITY)—7
Even
after what it put me through in terms of flavor, X Games didn’t even have the
decency to give me a good boost—okay, so it did make my headache go away, but
that’s beside the point. Kick was
only average, producing alertness, but no jitters. On the plus side, though, it didn’t have any taurine in
it—it even says so on the label.
Wait…since
when were we worried about taurine in our energy drinks? I thought all the hubbub was about the
high levels of caffeine…but should we have been worried about the presence of
that lone organic acid? Apparently,
according to X Games Energy, which is so proud of the fact that makes a point
of telling us on the can that it is, in fact, taurine free.
KICK
(DURATION)—7
Nothing
spectacular—two hours, 45 minutes to three hours of efficacy were experienced,
with no crash after the fact.
THE
DRINK OVERALL—5.33
I
have had plenty of energy drinks, but few that I disliked as much as X Games
Energy. It’s an absolute wreck,
from its frenzied flavor to its dishearteningly lackluster kick. This is not a product that has done
nothing to deserve the layperson’s consideration, and is best left to roam,
unbound and free, in wild savannahs of Big Lots.
WEBSITE:
xgamesenergy.com
KEYWORDS:
X Games energy drink review, bargain energy drink, wild berry, hydration
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