Review for Go Girl Lemon Drop

CAFFEINE CONTENT

100 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

Scarcer than most Go Girl products, for whatever reason.  Be patient if you’re looking to find it.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

I’m not the best suited individual when it comes to analyzing a design—I don’t sit there and examine it element by element and then as a whole, I just look at it and think, “Does it work?” then “Why or why not?”.  In this case, it bothers me, for the same reason most cans that bother me do—the color scheme.  You can make black and yellow work really nicely; in this case I think the shade of yellow is too dingy, and gives it the look of something that would fit right in at a grimy auto parts store—despite the fact that it’s a female-oriented energy drink.

TASTE—9

With lemonade-flavored energy drinks, you either nail it or tank it—there’s very rarely an in between just because of the inflexible nature of the lemon flavor.  In this case, they’ve nailed it—Go Girl Lemon Drop has a Country Time charm about it; not convincing in the least, but exactly what you’re looking for if you’re looking for something that tastes like liquefied lemon-flavored hard candies.  If I could find it nearby, I would not mind drinking it again at all.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Go Girl Lemon Drop works surprisingly well considering its mere 100 mg of caffeine; it woke me up pretty quickly and even supplied a dose of jitters—not enough to annoy everyone around me, but enough that I could enjoy it.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Solid three and a half hours, sans crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

For only $1.50, 100 mg of caffeine, and five calories, this is not a bad energy drink.  Females will surely appreciate it, and males…probably won’t touch it, but they could and feel confident that they’d get a good flavor and a decent dose of energy.

WEBSITE: gogirlenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Go Girl Lemon Drop energy drink review, 5 calories per can, diet

Review for Aeroshot Energy--Green Apple

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

100 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Fairly scattered; even the chain I found it at carries it inconsistently.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—1

Aesthetically, this is quite drab.  The only reason it catches your attention is for the image of the unique administration inhaler thing on front, but it’s not enough to keep your interest after seeing the $2.99 price tag, and you move on—unless, of course, you happen to have entered into the gas station with a sibling who, having heard that these are really bad, is more than willing to fund the review of all three flavors.

As far as function is concerned, this is an absolute disaster.  I assume the idea behind going the weird powder inhaler thingy route is convenience/ease of administration, but…it’s neither convenient nor easy.  Opening it’s a cinch, but from there it’s not like you can dump it out in your mouth or anything—you’re supposed to “Draw [it] into your mouth”—which basically means trying to suck it in just using the power of your cheeks, all the while trying to keep from aspirating it—which isn’t as easy as it sounds.  To top it off, it took me a couple of minutes to get it all out (spurt by spurt), so even if you manage to not inhale it, it takes you so long that you might as well go with an energy drink or shot (as soon as I find one that I really like, I’ll let you know)—heck, downing a BFC Monster is more convenient than this.

Bottom line is the idea’s a complete bust.  Better make a powder that you can mix into water or a shot or something like that—but this was just terrible.

TASTE—0

The process of actually ingesting this powder was one of the most stomach-churning experiences I’ve had since I was compelled to eat some sort of cow organ (I think it was a pancreas or spleen…) when I was in Guatemala.  Given how small the actual quantity of powder is (about ½ teaspoon) it shouldn’t surprise me that it tastes so bad, but it’s kind of hard to prepare yourself for the onslaught of caffeine, b-vitamins, artificial sweeteners, and bad fake apple flavoring that comes—the tastes of the first three dominate; the fourth is more of an insulting afterthought than anything else.  The first hit very nearly made me sick to my stomach, but what was worse was having to draw it in time after time after time because the stupid drawing process yielded so little of the inhaler’s contents.  After two minutes, I was quite ready to retch—only superior control over my gag reflex (which helped me keep down the mystery cow organ) kept me from doing so.

I’ll keep going with the rest of the review, but if you’re reading this on your phone or something and are needing to make a quick decision, I’ll tell you right now that it’s not worth it.  It’s been a few days and I still shudder at the thought.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8.5

It’s a pity that this stuff tastes so bad, because it kicks so nicely.  The effects have a pleasant way of building up to a nice, jittery level of energy that’s quite conducive to running errands and buzzing about whatever else needs doing.  If they could make this 1) easy to take, 2) not so obscene, and 3) less expensive, I’d be quite happy to do this again.

KICK (DURATION)—8.5

I almost got four hours of energy out of this, after which I didn’t crash, but definitely felt sleepy again—though that probably depended more on my level of fatigue than anything else.  But the lack of crash was nice.

THE PRODUCT OVERALL—5.67

The kick is really nice, but getting through the difficulty in administration and repugnant flavor to experience it is like slaying an enormous, fire-breathing dragon only to have the princess you rescue reward you with a high-five for your troubles—the high-five itself is cool, but not worth the trouble by a long shot.  This is an abysmal energy product, and deserves an eternity on the shelves of Big Lots for trying to impose itself upon the world.  Avoid at all costs.

WEBSITE: aeroshots.com

KEYWORDS: Aeroshot Energy Green Apple review

Review for Monster Energy Dub Edition--Mad Dog

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

This particular can isn’t so easy to find, but it is (spoiler alert) just a repackaging of an already existing Monster Energy beverage—which I am reviewing simply because there are people out there who will seek a review on it, and I think they deserve one.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Purple, gold, and a design that’s sort of a cross between the original Dub Edition and Import cans—it’s an impressive effect.  My issues here are the same with my issues with the Baller’s Blend can—the cursive and boxing glove just don’t seem to work, and I find the term “Punch + Energy” to be misleading—this isn’t punchy at all.

TASTE—6

To elaborate on my earlier statement that this is a repackaging of an already existing Monster beverage—this drink is the same as what we knew as “Monster Energy—Dub Edition.”  Apparently Monster’s decided to make the whole ‘Dub Edition’ thing a line as opposed to a flavor—kind of in the same way Nitrous and Rehab are lines as opposed to flavors—and rereleased the original as ‘Mad Dog’ (which I don’t really get).  I was not at all fond of Dub Edition the first time I tried it; I found it to be so sweet as to be sickening.  This time, however, I had it over ice, and that seemed to make it a bit more bearable—though I’m still not terribly impressed with the “original Monster with a hint of grape” flavor.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Another difference I found with this beverage is that it worked—which I don’t think discredits the original Dub Edition.  I’ve found, as I’ve reviewed beverage after beverage after beverage, that sometimes flukes happen.  A drink will work better or worse than the rest of the line even though there is really no difference in the energy blend, or will crap out long before others of the line have—that sort of thing.  They’ve become far less common as time has gone on, but in the rare instance when they do happen, I make it a point to drink them twice before I post a review.

That being said—I think my review of the original Dub Edition was a fluke.  It’s got all the caffeine of all the other Monster beverages and all of the other energy constituents, and there’s no reason it should have kicked less than the other beverages.  If you drink this new Mad Dog beverage, expect a decent amount of energy and some jitters.  Also expect the sugariness to give you a few troubles.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Three and a half hours, with no sugar crash—though that last part might have been the fact that I was on an exercise bike for an hour after the fact just to make sure I burned off all that dang sugar.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

Lovers of the original Dub Edition, rejoice!  Your drink has not been discontinued, just repackaged and renamed.  You can still enjoy your grapey Monster every bit as much as you did before.  To those that never had Dub Edition—Monster beverages are good for a decent boost, but I vastly prefer some of their other flavors; Cuba Lima and Rehab—Lemonade, Orangeade, and Rojo Tea are some of my all-time favorites.  I’d go with one of those before this, but that’s just me.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Energy Dub Edition Mad Dog review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor

Review for Monster Energy Dub Edition--Baller's Blend

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Monster’s been pretty scanty as far as getting this one out there is concerned.  Though it came out at the same time as Cuba Lima and Zero Ultra it got none of the publicity, and I only became aware of its existence through other reviewers.  For the time being, count on having a harder time than usual getting your hands on this one.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

If nothing else, Monster knows how to make a flashy can—take a look at this red, black and gold…bling and tell me if I’m wrong.  I have a few issues with this one, such as the cursive “Baller’s Blend” and the boxing glove, which seem strange and out of place in context with the overall motif.

TASTE—7

With “Fruit + Punch” featured prominently on the front, I have a pretty good idea what to expect—it was only a matter of time before Monster decided to cash in on the crap fruit punch flavor.  Popping the top I get the expected smell (and a lack of carbonation, funnily enough—anyone else have that experience?)—except maybe a little more complex; I seem to have detected whiffs of mango and cherry in there, as opposed to just the usual ambiguous fruity smell.  Taking a sip, I found the flavor to be more on the fruity side than most punches, which I found to make it more agreeable than most—though I’m still not a fan of the flavor, fruit punch aficionados will doubtless love it.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

If you have found in times past that Monster Energy products have worked for you, you will find that this one will also.  If not, then not.  I find that more often than not effects are on the high end of average (with the exception of the original, for whatever freaking reason that has eluded my reasoning), and this one was no different.

KICK (DURATION)—8

I got a pretty solid three and a half hours of energy out of this, which I actually found to be quite helpful as I embarked on a cleaning/sorting crusade (an added bonus is that this burst of energy helped me burn off the crap ton of sugar I got with this drink).

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

Like fruit punch?  Like Monster?  You’ll like this drink.  Nothing more to say than that.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Energy Dub Edition Baller’s Blend review, Monster fruit punch

Review for Nature's Plus Source of Life Energy Shot

CAFFEINE CONTENT

88 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

There is very little consistency in what energy products are carried from health food store to health food store; I don’t think I’ve ever seen the same product carried twice in all the stores I've been to.  Keep dropping into such places as you find them and chances are you might come across it, though it may take a while.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

I’m going to give this points for being bold, but I find that with the name of this product being so dang long and the label being inundated with a plethora of text outlining all the things that this shot has that you should put into your body (or lacks that you shouldn’t), the whole thing generally looks badly overloaded and cluttered.

TASTE—2

I’m used to energy shots tasting harsh and unpleasant (sigh), but given that this monster carries four freaking ounces of liquid and is supposedly all natural, I would think that they could have made it taste a little more agreeable than this.  The flavor is listed as “tropical fruit” but the whole thing tastes like somebody blended up a couple handfuls of multivitamins and added a few berries for flavor as an afterthought.  It’s vile and unpleasant, and one of the less impressive shots I’ve had tastewise (which is saying quite a bit).

KICK (INTENSITY)—5

I find that drinks in this particular range of caffeine (70-90 mg) vary more than one might expect; I’ve gotten some pretty impressive results and pretty dismal ones from drinks that contained the same 80 mg of caffeine.  This particular low-caffeine shot produces effects that are obvious enough to be noticed and maybe make me feel a little peppier, but still fall short of what I would personally like to get out of my energy products.

KICK (DURATION)—5

I think I felt this work for about two hours, after which I didn’t crash per se, but did feel strongly like I needed a nap.

THE SHOT OVERALL—4

Doesn’t work all that well, tastes pretty bad—do you need me to say any more than that?

WEBSITE: naturesplus.com

KEYWORDS: Nature’s Plus Source of Life Energy Shot review, all natural, sugar free

Review for Street King--Orange Mango

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Uncertain.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Not as common as it could be; I find it becomes more common once I get out on the interstate and start making stops every few hours or so.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

As does the packaging for the grape variety, Street King—Orange Mango’s packaging works relatively well.  The bottle is nice and solid and the orange and gold design bold and appealing especially over the dark background.  As with the purple-themed shot, I found that the solid background could have been replaced with a texture for a desirable effect; in this case carbon fiber would have served it well.

TASTE—5

As with my previous Street King shot, I had high hopes for this one, and when I opened the bottle and took a whiff, I thought my faith would be rewarded—actually smelled a good deal like mangos.  The first sip tasted like peach rings (which I like), but the shot eventually lost this characteristic and became quite acrid and unpleasant.  Dang it.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

As with the grape version you can expect a fairly reasonable boost of energy without jitters—and it was a pleasant enough experience that I think it will appeal to shot lovers everywhere.

KICK (DURATION)—9

Four hours, no crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—7.33

So once again, a Street King shot has proved itself to be more agreeable than its counterparts, but still far less than what I’m looking for in a shot.  Energy shot aficionados will absolutely want to try it out if they have not already, but as for myself, unless I find a shot that really impresses soon, I think I will be finishing up what I have in my reserves and really cut back on reviewing them—I’m really sick and tired of mediocre and bad-tasting shots.

Remember, by the way, that for every one of these shots sold, the company donates a quarter towards the United Nations World Food Programme, which provides an entire meal for a hungry child.  If you’re looking to donate more, follow the link below:

https://www.wfp.org/donate/fillthecup.

WEBSITE: skenergyshots.com

KEYWORDS: Street King Orange Mango energy shot review, 50 Cent energy shot, zero calorie, zero carbs, zero sugar, diet

Review for Street King--Grape

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Uncertain.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

These seem to be more of a truck stop shot above anything else—local convenience stores and grocery stores don’t seem to carry it at all, but once you get on the road and stop at places like the Flying J it seems to abound.  (As an aside—I’ve read a number of reviews commenting on the high prices of these shots—well, I got them two for $3.59!  I love it when that happens!)

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Street King seems to hit all the right notes in terms of their packaging—I love the stout 2.5 oz. bottle, I love the purple, I love the blingy gold logo and design.  Between the two shots, I did think the background would be better off with some sort of texture rather than just the black; in this case I think a dark diamond metal motif would serve the purple and gold well.

TASTE—7

I’ve heard very good things about Street King—Grape, insomuch that I had high hopes that it might be the shot I’ve been looking for—i.e. the one that tastes good enough to actually make my getting into reviewing shots worth it.  Anyway, I can honestly say that it is much better than other grape shots I’ve had—it is far less bitter and tastes less fake than all of the others, which is something.  I also have to say, however, that I could not shake the sensation that I was drinking grape cold medicine during the fact—so in the end, my enjoyment was fleeting and my experience unsatisfying.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Kick is pretty decent, even if it wasn’t the best flavorwise.  If you 1) like shots, 2) need something to get you really alert, and 3) don’t want to deal with jitters, then this is a shot you should definitely consider.

KICK (DURATION)—9

A total of four hours passed under Street King’s influence, and they ended without a crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—8

My own search for the ideal energy shot aide, Street King—Grape is one of the better ones I’ve had.  It tastes decent and works relatively well, and shot junkies who have not experienced it probably should—that way they stop buying things like 5 Hour Energy.

A final aside—for every one of these shots sold, the company donates a quarter towards the United Nations World Food Programme (old school spelling annoys me as well), which provides a meal for a hungry child.  If you’re looking to donate more than 50 Cent (the capitalist mastermind behind this shot) does through your purchase of this shot, follow the link below:

https://www.wfp.org/donate/fillthecup.

WEBSITE: skenergyshots.com

KEYWORDS: Street King Grape energy shot review, 50 Cent energy shot, zero carb, zero sugar, zero calorie, diet

Review for Rockstar Punched--Guava

FIRST REVIEW!

CAFFEINE CONTENT

240 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Becoming more common slowly but steadily—as to whether it will altogether replace the Juiced version (as it seems to be doing) and thus attain its respectably commonality, only time will tell.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—10

Say what you want about Rockstar in general—they know how to make a can.  This new version of their guava drink sports the same fractal background that made its debut with 2X and is slowly but surely making its way into the rest of the line (Zero Carb, Tropical Fruit Punch, etc.), except with a purple that is nicely accentuated by the bright yellow star and tab.  Notwithstanding its close resemblance to the Juiced beverage, the new design is bright and striking enough to make it pop afresh.

TASTE—6

I’m glad that Rockstar is putting so much emphasis on function in their new beverages—almost without exception, those that they’ve released in the last year have contained 240 mg of caffeine and have had kick to spare.  Problem is that they don’t seem to be to worried about how they taste—I wasn’t all that impressed the new Bubbleberry drink, Iced is pleasant but suffers from an overabundance of artificial sweeteners (as does 2X, even though it is a definite improvement over what vileness was contained in the 12 oz. can), and…never mind, I can’t bring myself to frankly criticize Xdurance, even if it does taste a little unusual.  Anyway, I consider Rockstar Punched—Guava to be a continuation of this phenomenon—it just tastes like carbonated sugar water with some artificial guava flavor.  I remember liking Rockstar Juiced—Guava, which I reviewed back in the early days of the blog, but some weren’t thrilled with the 10% juice version I tried (I hadn’t gotten the chance to review the 50% juice version; that was before this site’s time).  Well, chances are that crowd will be less than pleased with this one, which has no fruit juice to speak of and tastes about as fake as they come.

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

As long as you don’t mind the flavor and can finish the whole can, you’ll be able to revel in the plentiful boost that this drink provides.  As I mentioned, this contains 240 mg of anhydrous caffeine, and will get you as alert and buzzy as you could ask to be.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Five or six hours passed before effects the drink wore off, with enough of a crash that I opted to take a nap in the Lazy Boy rather than try to continue plowing through it.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

I still vastly prefer Rockstar Zero Carb, but as far as efficacy this is a worthy addition to the Rockstar line.  As far as taste—I would love them to go back to their 50% juice blends.  Might be a little more palpable if they did, and I would surmise that enough people would buy it to make up for the added expense.

WEBSITE: rockstar69.com

KEYWORDS: Rockstar Punched Guava energy drink review, high caffeine, tropical fruit flavor, does not contain fruit juice

Review for Red Bull--The Silver Edition

CAFFEINE CONTENT

80 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Depends on whether you ask Red Bull (who claim that it is limited in its distribution to exclusive clubs in a small number of large cities across the country) or 7-Eleven (who claim that the drink is only available there).  I don’t go to clubs in New Orleans or Los Angeles or places like that, and unless you do, I recommend you take your chances at 7-Eleven.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I appreciate the way Red Bull has gone with the design in these new cans—it would look really boring if they did the same old can in different colors.  I am not quite as wild about the two shades of grey or silver on this can; it has the unfortunate propensity to appear drab next to the Red and Blue Editions.

TASTE—8

Well, I have high hopes for The Silver Edition.  The Red Edition was excellent, and The Blue Edition’s going to have me revising my Top 10 list once I get through these next couple of reviews.  I’m anxious to see how Red Bull does lime (would have been cool if it had been silverberry—which, yes, is a legitimate berry).  I pop the top and pour over my glass of ice the slightly cloudy liquid that smells strongly of citrus—so far, so good.  I take a sip, and…

…It tastes good.

No, it’s nothing revelatory.  But it does taste alright.  Good enough, perhaps, that I would recommend trying it at least once—maybe it will do for you what The Blue Edition did for me.  But from my point of view, this just isn’t up to par with the rest of the Editions.  I’m glad I tried the others first, because if I hadn’t, this would be a bona fide tirade.  But knowing what Red Bull is capable of, I’m feeling a little more lenient, and I think I could say that I would drink it again if I get the chance.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6

Same as any 8.4 oz. Red Bull product—it’s a great choice for a minor boost; The Blue Edition is now my go-to beverage for such.  But if you’re feeling lime more than blueberry, The Silver Edition will give you the same results.

KICK (DURATION)—6

Two and a half hours, no crash.  Not shabby in its appointed niche.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.67

I’m not thrilled with The Silver Edition, but that’s just because I was so thrilled with the others that it seems shoddy by comparison.  Standing on its own, however, The Silver Edition isn’t bad—not by a long shot.  I will recommend it, and am going to leave it at that—except to ask that you leave your thoughts once you’ve had it.

WEBSITE: redbullusa.com

KEYWORDS: Red Bull The Silver Edition energy drink review, 8.4 ounces, 8.4 oz

Review for Rockstar Super Sours--Bubbleberry

FIRST REVIEW!!!

CAFFEINE CONTENT

240 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Bubbleberry here seems to be the subject of a decent push on part of the Rockstar energy company—I just barely heard of it last week, and it’s already popping (no pun intended) up at a number of gas stations around here.  Be interested in seeing how it takes off.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—10

This is a can that, surprisingly enough, strikes all the right notes with me—mostly because it makes me feel very nostalgic.  I’ll explain—when I was younger, I occasionally enjoyed a gaming session on our family SNES, and one of my favorite games was Kirby Super Star, in the which you fill the role of an…ability-shifting marshmallow-ish thing in going about various endeavors, including stopping a giant bird, planet hopping, etc. (bad description, but I’m not going to go any further than that—look it up on Wikipedia if interested).  In any event, this can reminds me of everything I like about that game—the colors are vibrant and enjoyable, the fonts bold, the deep, multilayered design appropriately unruly, and it’s just generally nice to look upon—kind of has the image of what Kirby would grab for a tremendous boost of energy.

TASTE—6

It never occurred to me that anyone would tap the bubblegum flavor for its potential as an energy drink—simply because I didn’t think that there really was any.  It’s one of those flavors that you see all over the place and wonder why, because it’s not all that impressive—I didn’t think there was actually anyone who did like it.  In any event, however, we have this Bubbleberry beverage here, and the flavor profile is that of a piece of subdued, less-sweet bubblegum—maybe with a hint of berry flavor.  I’m not wild about it, but if there are people out there who get original bubblegum-flavored gum, there most certainly are those that will buy this for the flavor.

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

Even if you are disappointed in the flavor, you won’t be let down by the energy boost—with 240 mg of caffeine (an amount that Rockstar is leaning towards in more and more of their products), this kicks as much as any 16 oz. Rockstar Zero Carb or Xdurance, with alertness and jitters enough that they may diffuse to other individuals in your proximity.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Five hours at least, with no crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

Notwithstanding the fact that I didn’t like the flavor so much, I do hope they’ll be keeping Rockstar Super Sours—Bubbleberry around.  At the very least it’s something different to offer an excellent energy boost to individuals for whom the standard 160 mg falls short.

WEBSITE: rockstar69.com

KEYWORDS: Rockstar Super Sours Bubbleberry energy drink review, Rockstar bubble gum energy drink review, high caffeine, new Rockstar drink

Review for Red Bull--The Blue Edition

CAFFEINE CONTENT

80 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Yesterday in my review of The Red Edition, I noted that these are not nearly as widely distributed as the original flavors—the website claims that they are only sold at exclusive clubs in a handful of large cities, and 7-Eleven (where I bought them) claims they are only being sold at 7-Eleven.  So, doing a little Internet “research”, I learned that these are sort of an experiment—the idea is to distribute just to 7-Eleven, which is one of the nation’s largest Red Bull retailers, and see how well they are received—and if things go well, these just might go national.  To give you an idea as to how it looks like this is working: I stopped at one 7-Eleven, drawn in by the Red Bull Editions sign.  I walked to the Red Bull cooler they had there, and I found them—well, two of them.  The Blue Edition had been completely cleaned out, and only a very small supply of the Red and Silver Editions remained.  I had to travel about five minutes more to the next closest 7-Eleven, where I was able to grab a can of The Blue Edition—though supplies at this store of all three flavors were wearing thin.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—10

I’m really quite enamored with this little can.  As I indicated in my review for Rockstar Zero Carb, I’m a real sucker for blue and silver together—and when you couple that with the calculated minimalism of this new Red Bull can, you get one heck of a striking product.

TASTE—10

After enjoying The Red Edition so thoroughly, my mind was quite open for The Blue Edition—despite the low standard set for the enormous amounts of drinks toting the ever-derivative “blueberry pomegranate” flavor.  I popped open the can and was almost immediately hit with the strong smell of fresh blueberries—a good sign, since the blueberry pomegranate cliché tends to have more of a vague berry smell.  Then I poured it over ice and took a swig….

HOLY FLIPFARTS THIS IS A FREAKING DELICIOUS ENERGY DRINK!  I honestly thought I was drinking carbonated blueberry juice—it really is that good.  It even manages to avoid the propensity of blueberry-flavored products to taste dry—no hint of that there.

Whatever you say about the Red Bull Company, you can’t deny that they go about their innovations in a very calculated, meticulous fashion—if you remember the (sadly) discontinued Red Bull Cola, you know what I’m talking about.  You can taste this attribute in The Blue Edition through and through—Red Bull knew exactly what they were going for, and they really hit the nail on the head in terms of execution.  Very well done, Red Bull.  Very well done indeed.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6

As I noted in yesterday’s review of The Red Edition, 8.4 ounces of a Red Bull product doesn’t go all that far, but it is good for a mild boost/clearing out of the cerebral cobwebs.  I also said that The Red Edition might be my go-to beverage for that sort of thing—but as delicious as The Blue Edition has proven, I think that Red will be coming in second.

KICK (DURATION)—6

I was able to get two and a half hours of energy out of one can—with no crash.  As I said in yesterday’s review, its applications are somewhat limited in terms of intensity and duration, but within that sphere of applicability, there is nothing better.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

Even if The Red Edition won’t make a Red Bull man/woman out of you (it did me; the fact that it was surpassed by The Blue Edition was just an added bonus), The Blue Edition is almost guaranteed to do so.  I don’t care what your thoughts on the original Red Bull or the company in general are—they have made one heck of an energy drink here, and it is worthy of any energy drinker’s consideration.  As for myself, I hope that these Editions will be a hit, because I would love to make these a staple, and that they start to produce it in the 20 oz. cans—because that seems to me to be just the right amount to consume in one sitting.

WEBSITE: redbullusa.com

KEYWORDS: Red Bull The Blue Edition energy drink review, Red Bull Editions review, 8.4 oz., 8.4 ounces

Review for Red Bull--The Red Edition

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

80 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

For whatever reason, Red Bull has opted not to follow its previous distribution paradigm and retails their three Red Bull Editions 1) “only at select clubs and lounges in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, Las Vegas, Austin & New Orleans” (directly from the website), or 2) “only at 7-Eleven” (directly from the sign outside of the 7-Eleven where I bought these).

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

As far as looks are concerned, The Red Edition has nothing to be ashamed of.  Easy to spot in the bright red can with the enlarged and rotated bull graphic, it’s eye-catching, but never overly ostentatious; to the point, but never blunt; and confident, but never cocky.  Bottom line is that it just looks nice, and adds a nice splash of variety to the line.  Only thing I found to be unusual is the whole “Red Bull, Red Edition” thing.  Whenever I say the name, it feels…redundant.  Kind of like saying “Monster Energy—The Monster Edition!”  See?  Doesn’t really work all that well.

TASTE—9

There are a lot of mixed feelings floating around on the original Red Bull.  Some people consider it the nectar of the gods, some absolutely loathe the stuff…as for me, I think it’s alright, but pretty outdated—companies have replicated it ad nauseum, and in the process far superior substitutes have been produced (Roaring Lion Sugar Free being my all-time favorite RBC), and as a result the original really no longer needs to exist.

That said, I think that this new line has a pretty good chance at breathing life back into the company in the eyes of bored, disillusioned consumers such as myself (believe me, there are plenty of them out there).  Red Bull—The Red Edition is excellent energy drink, and the thing that really wins me over is the flavor.

Upon first inspection (typically from afar) one expects cherry or fruit punch—but no.  Red Bull’s gone the cranberry route—which often happens in the juice world, but doesn’t seem to be so common among energy drinks.  You buy and pop open the can, and are greeted with a very pleasant cranberry aroma.  The first sip is a bit disillusioning—it doesn’t taste like real cranberries.  But you paid $2.48 for the thing, so you keep going, and you realize that even though it’s unconvincing, it’s not unpleasantly so—I mean, nobody liked grape soda when they were kids because it tasted like real grapes—they did it because they freaking liked it.

Red Bull—The Red Edition is kind of like grape soda for adults—doesn’t taste like the real thing, but nobody cares.  You don’t drink it because it’s the first thing you reach for when you have a UTI—you drink it because it’s freaking good.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6

Like every 8.4 oz. Red Bull, this isn’t a kick-you-in-the-seat-of-the-pants sort of energy drink—but it is spirited in its own right.  It’s not often I reach for an energy drink to give me a brisk pick-me-up over a huge boost—but seeing as it’s so infrequent, I’m all the more willing to fork out the $2.50 to get one of these.

KICK (DURATION)—6

I can get about two and a half hours out of one of these (mini-Red Bull product) before I start to feel things wearing off, but I never experience a crash.  Not the sort of thing for that 12-hour trip to bring the family to your parents for Christmas, but I can think of plenty of applications where a boost of this duration is appropriate.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

…And with that, I’m once again a believer in the Red Bull line.  I’m actually really surprised by how much I liked this drink—I mean, it’s put out by a company that I’ve really ripped apart in times past (and rightly so), and it doesn’t kick all that much…but, I’m a fan.  I think they really nailed it with this Red Edition here, and if it were more readily available nearby, I wouldn’t have any issues making this a subject of regular consumption—again, notwithstanding the price.

A note to the company, if anybody from that energy drink behemoth ever happens to read this—I’d love to see this in the 20 oz. size.  Don’t even bother with the 12 oz. or 16 oz. sizes—because more often than not, I’m not wowed by them; they kind of float in sort of a no-man’s land when it comes to intensity.  They’re just not kicky enough to justify buying them over the smaller can, but I can tell you—it would be worth the price to me to be able to drink 20 ounces of this stuff.

But that’s just my two cents.

WEBSITE: redbullusa.com

KEYWORDS: Red Bull The Red Edition energy drink review, new Red Bull review, Red Bull Editions review, 8.4 oz. can, 8.4 ounces