Friday, December 30, 2011

Review for Roaring Lion Sugar Free


Roaring Lion energy drinks were kind of a turning point for me as a reviewer—for the first time, a company was willing to grant my request for samples, and graciously sent me a can of both Roaring Lion and Roaring Lion Sugar Free—along with a can of Red Bull and Red Bull Sugar Free so I could compare the two.

I wrote positive (relatively, when it comes to Roaring Lion Sugar Free) reviews and moved on.  Well, recently, I came across a 16 oz. can of Roaring Lion Sugar Free passing through La Grande, Oregon and decided to give it a whirl.  My experience was completely different this time around, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, I suppose—after all, the first time I drank Monster Energy—Lo-Carb and Rockstar Sugar Free, they tasted like canned sucralose with a hint of their respective flavors; but with each successive attempt the taste vanished exponentially until it was no more.
 
So this time, I really have something to report on—the gist of it is that Roaring Lion Sugar Free is the Red Bull clone—you won’t find a better one anywhere.  Read on.

CAFFEINE CONTENT

112 mg/12 oz. can
150 mg/16 oz. can

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

Individual specimens of Roaring Lion Sugar Free are hard to come by—I’d just order a case on the Internet.  Yes, I feel safe recommending that course of action if you’re a sincere Red Bull substitute seeker.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I quite like the packaging of Roaring Lion Sugar Free, mostly because of the color scheme, which manages by its lustrous sky blue mingled with red, yellow and white accents to conjure within my mind thoughts sunny days in southern California, swimming in a nice pool on a warm day, and, of course, a drink that is light on calories without compromising the flavor of the beverage.  My only tiff with the original look might be the lion front and center—which, in contrast with the lion on the new can, looks like it’s in pain (I described it as appearing “as though it sat on a cactus” in my review of the original).  This is remedied on the newer cans, in which the lion actually looks as though it is roaring.

TASTE—10

I gave a 10 out of 10 to Monster Energy—Import for being the drink that Monster should have been, so I think Roaring Lion Sugar Free deserves the same for being the drink that Red Bull should have been.  As I indicated, the first time I drank this, I found the artificial sweeteners to be quite distracting—but the second time around, there were none to be detected.  Instead, I was tasting Red Bull—but awesome.  Whereas the flavor of Red Bull is quite muted, Roaring Lion Sugar Free is bold and full-bodied—but with an identical flavor profile that, were it not for the fullness of the flavor, could probably deceive even the most discriminating of Red Bull fanatics.  Also absent is the bitter medicinal aftertaste characteristic of Red Bull, which it is almost as famous for as it is for being the first energy drink.  It is crisp, it is clean, and it is dang good—if you’re into the traditional energy drink flavor, as I am, this is an absolute must.

12 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY) —7

The 12 oz. can doesn’t deliver a bad kick at all—it’ll provide an adequate alertness in most day-to-day, not-so-extreme situations; and if any find a single can lacking in desired potency, a second would probably do the trick.

KICK (DURATION) —7

The word “adequate” fits perfectly.  It lasted an appreciable three hours and was rather consistent in the level of awakedness it delivered, and finished without a crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

With regards to the 12 oz. can, you can’t really go wrong, because of the flavor—but I’d still stick with the 16 oz. can; it’s got a broader scope of utility.  Read on.

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

The 16 oz. can has 38 more milligrams of caffeine than the 12 ouncer, and it’s enough to make an appreciable difference.  I would actually use the word “wired” to describe the sensation—I was actually reasonably jittery in addition to being substantially alert.

KICK (DURATION)—8

The pint lasted somewhere between a half hour and an hour more than the 12 oz. can—so somewhere between three and a half and four hours.  Not too shabby.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

So in the end, what I have to say is this—most Red Bull clones come across as pathetic.  They are poor imitations of the original, and their attempt at getting a piece of the Red Bull target market are sucker punches at best.  Roaring Lion Sugar Free, however, has blown Red Bull completely out of the water—there is no longer any reason for Red Bull or Red Bull Sugar Free or Red Bull Total Zero to exist.  Roaring Lion Sugar Free is everything that these drinks should have been, and then some.  It’s bigger, better, stronger, and, to top it off, light years cheaper—I don’t think I paid more than $1.49 for the 16 oz. can.  Contrast that with a can of Red Bull of the same size, which runs about $3.69, depending on where you go.  If you like the traditional energy drink flavor, make Roaring Lion Sugar Free your drink.


KEYWORDS: Roaring Lion Sugar Free energy drink review, Red Bull substitute, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor

Monday, December 19, 2011

Review for Roaring Lion


CAFFEINE CONTENT

112 mg/12 oz. can

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

I’ve never been able to find Roaring Lion at any retailer I’ve visited to over the course of my travels, so plan on looking for a while if your modus operandi for energy drink hunting is casual browsing (mine is pretty active, and even then I had a hard time with it).  If you’re really anxious about finding it, order it off the website.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

The can I procured as a sample from the Roaring Lion company appears to be a revamped version of the can I’d seen online (do a Google image search).  While the blue/yellow color scheme is the about same, the logo is more prominent, the scratches from a lion’s claws appear more realistic and are more of a background thing than they were before, and the lion’s head is pointed at more of an upward angle than on the previous can (this is an improvement in my opinion, as the original lion appeared more in pain [as though it had sat on a cactus] than roaring).  In addition, there’s a stroke of subtle design genius manifest in the bar code of the drink—a lion’s head is seen sticking through the top portion of the code, with the lines giving way as though they were bending blades of tall grass.  I consider that to be pretty clever.

TASTE—8

While most drinks simply derive the Red Bull flavor and sell it as they would their own original concoction (perhaps hoping no one will notice, or maybe hoping they will), Red Lion takes a more aggressive approach at getting their piece of the Red Bull target market and quite brazenly advertises itself as a “the #1 Red Bull Alternative”—a drink with a similar flavor profile (minus the medicinal aftertaste) and the same functional benefits (accomplished by having the same energy blend as Red Bull) as Red Bull, but at a significantly reduced price.  So…how does it perform in this regard?  I would actually say 'quite well'.  It possesses a more robust flavor than Red Bull, though with the same balance between sweet and sour and without the bitter aftertaste that plagues Red Bull.  I myself enjoyed it a great deal (moreso even than other Red Bull clones) and would love to see it become more widely available.  I’ve actually got kind of a hankering for a can right now….

KICK (INTENSITY) —7

Roaring Lion is powered by a standard caffeine content and a modest array of B-vitamins, which isn’t quite as extensive a blend as is offered in some energy drinks.  Notwithstanding, Roaring Lion provides a reasonable boost, perfectly suiting it for a long afternoon of studying or any similar application (if you're falling asleep at the wheel and need a more substantial boost, I recommend drinking two cans.).

KICK (DURATION) —7

I was actually pleased with Roaring Lion’s performance in this regard—not so much over the fact that it was particularly long-lived, but the fact that the effects were fairly constant until a few hours had passed, rather than peaking and rapidly diminishing into something less substantial.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

All in all, I found Roaring Lion to be a satisfying energy drink experience, and really don’t have any problems recommending it.  As for whether it’s an adequate Red Bull substitute…well, my initial impulse is to say yes, but that’s going to have to be left to the Red Bull drinkers, one of which I am not.  Many of those who drink Red Bull have been doing so for a while (remember that Red Bull's the original energy drink), so I would imagine that anything other than that honest-to-goodness Red Bull would taste off, at least for a while.  I will say that it comes closer to being that Red Bull substitute, more so than any other such drink I’ve had, is at the very least worth a shot.


KEYWORDS: Roaring Lion energy drink review, Red Bull substitute, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, low price

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Review for Wired X B12 Rush


CAFFEINE CONTENT

94 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Wired X B12 Rush distribution is scattered, just like all products of the Wired beverage line.  Be patient and you’ll come across it eventually.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

I’m conflicted on how I feel about the packaging on X B12 Rush.  On one hand, I really like the color scheme—which, if you’re familiar with my reviews, wins quite a few points in my book.  On the other hand, it possesses a quality that bugs me that is common to the presentation of almost all the Wired beverages, and that’s the fact that the whole thing looks cluttered and unfocused, as though the drink isn’t sure that it knows what it’s all about.  You can get away with the ghetto flames and the logo if you’ve got the right color combination, and as nice as that combination is on X B12 Rush, it doesn’t work with the motif.  Anyway, I think I’m spending way too much time on this.  On to the important stuff!

TASTE—8

Wired X B12 Rush exists in between the Red Bull execution and Monster Energy execution of the traditional energy drink flavor.  On one hand, it’s sweeter than most drinks that lie on the Red Bull side of things, and on the other, it’s not sweet enough to be on the Monster Energy side of things…wow, that was a little bit verbose for someone who’s just trying to say “the taste is halfway between a Red Bull and a Monster”…but that’s the way it is.  There is bit of a medicinal aftertaste there, enough that I had trouble deciding whether X B12 Rush deserved 7.5 or 8 points out of 10.  In the end, the 8 won over, if only by a bit.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

Lots of vitamin B12 (3,000% daily value) means jitters, and that’s what you can expect when you pop open a can of Wired X B12.  For having only 94 mg of caffeine, I was surprised that it kicked as much as it did—I was plenty awake and jittery, and didn’t have any more issues with falling asleep over homework.

KICK (DURATION) —8

It was about 3, 3½ hours before I really noticed Wired X B12 Rush wearing off, and even after the whole experience was over, there was a complete absence of any sort of crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

Flavorwise, Wired X B12 Rush is the same ol’ same ol’, which isn’t bad if you’re into the traditional energy drink flavor (I personally like it).  Assuming that you are, Wired X B12 Rush provides a solid kick with only 94 mg of caffeine.  If any of this appeals to you, go for it.  If not…read some of my other reviews until you find something that does.


KEYWORDS: Wired X B12 Rush energy drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, B vitamins

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Review for Wired X 3000


CAFFEINE CONTENT

188 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Wired X 3000 is one of the harder varieties to find, and when one does happen across it, it tends to be found in isolation from other Wired beverages (so…not WinCo).  Best chance in finding it is to keep your eyes peeled, and you should stumble across it eventually.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

The more I think of it, the less the Wired getup seems to work.  The exact same motif used on the original is used here, except with a mid-blue background and lighter orange flames.  As with Amp Energy, the look works better on some than on others, and the noticeably generic qualities of the can are further emphasized by the color scheme employed here.  (As an aside, the pic suckssorry about that.)

TASTE—7.5

Wired X 3000 has the same Red Bull flavor as the original, except perhaps with a bit more of a bitter aftertaste.  It still makes for a passable taste experience, even if inferior to some.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

I actually kind of like the “choose-your-own-Red-Bull-clone” idea that Wired has with some of their drinks—keep the flavor, alter the energy blend so that interested parties can pick the blend that works for them.  In this case, the difference from the original is the addition of 3000 mg of taurine, and I definitely noticed a positive difference in performance from the original—I was exhausted from my scanty 4½ hours of sleep, and Wired X 3000 woke me up about as well as an ice-cold shower.

KICK (DURATION) —8

The energy peak lasted about an hour, and from there it did go downhill—I can’t say I’m surprised, given how much sleep I received the night before.  From there I felt tired once more, but still very in control for another 2+ hours before I was ready for a long nap.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.83

It tastes alright and works well—that’s all there really is to know about Wired X 3000.  If you like Red Bull clones and need a boost, here’s yet another option.


KEYWORDS: Wired X 3000 energy drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, high taurine

Friday, December 2, 2011

Review for Wired


CAFFEINE CONTENT

94 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

I see Wired products just about everywhere I go, though I never see them all in one place—a few here, a few there.  WinCo is by far the best source; I can probably get six or seven different varieties there, this being one of them.  That said, I am surprised that this, being the original (I use this term loosely—see “TASTE”) isn’t carried at more locations, but I still wouldn’t worry about availability—the stores where I’ve seen it tend to sell it in staggering quantities, such that you can easily buy it by the pallet.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

For a bargain energy drink, Wired doesn’t have a bad look—even if the flames don't make make a whole lot of sense given the name of the drink (wouldn't lightning bolts be more appropriate for a drink called "Wired?").  Mostly, I like the way the colors come together—orange flames over black background, vertical red logo…I even like the way the muted brass color of the top of the can goes with the overall look.  So generic appearance aside, it works in its own right.

TASTE—8

The fact that no flavor was specified on the can indicated to me that there was roughly a 95% chance that I was in for a Red Bull clone.  Sure enough, it was just that.  However derivative, it’s still a pleasant experience—it was on the Red Bull end of the spectrum as far as flavor is concerned (i.e. kind of sour and less sweet than Monster Energy), but it lacked the bitter aftertaste which I associate with Red Bull almost as much as the flavor.  So, in the end, it is an improvement over the original, for which it deserves some recognition.

KICK (INTENSITY) —7

It was kind of slow getting started, but once it got going, it worked relatively well—surprisingly well, in fact, given its low caffeine content and bare-bones energy blend (just some B-vitamins and inositol).  Before drinking, I was ready to slump face-first into my physiology textbook and sleep for the rest of the day—but I didn’t have that option, as I was cramming—I mean, reviewing—for a test to be taken that night.  Afterwards, I was reasonably and functionally awake, if not exactly…well, wired.

KICK (DURATION) —8

In addition to its reasonable intensity, Wired also boasted a noteworthy staying power, allowing me to stay awake long enough to finish studying and get the test out of the way.  I didn’t crash after the fact, either, which is a plus.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

Don’t look for anything new or particularly exciting when you pick up Wired, but as far as bargain energy drinks go, this ain't half bad.  For a buck or so, you get a decent Red Bull-esque flavor and a kick that’s not too shabby.  What more need I say?


KEYWORDS: Wired energy drink review, traditional energy drink flavor, Red Bull clone, bargain energy drink

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Review for True Colors--Fruit Punch


CAFFEINE CONTENT

Unknown.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

You can find it with all other True Colors products at Big Lots.  Given my experience with them, they’ll be there a while, discontinuation aside.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—5

I slammed the packaging on True Colors for looking as though no thought went into it.  I was okay with True Colors—Orange-Tangerine’s look (mostly because of the orange/black color combination), and I actually had some praise for True Colors—Sugar Free’s (probably unintentional) success with making sparse color use and aluminum exposure work well together.  And now, I offer my criticism of True Colors—Fruit Punch for being the embodiment of the one thing that is consistently wrong with all of the above: it looks like something based on a design theory that died with the 70’s.  Look at the repeating dots/bubbles—do they not remind you of the patterns of flashing lights on the computers of 70’s movies and television programs?  Is the color not such a shade of red that it would have been described as “funky” when that word was a good thing?  Is that quality of the shade of red not intensified in combination with the black background?  Am I nitpicking?  Perhaps, but such is my evaluation.

TASTE—5

The taste of this drink is the archetypal cheap fruit punch energy drink taste—it’s overly sweet and gummy, it’s unconvincingly fruity, it’s bitter.  Even if you like the taste of cheap fruit punch, chances are you’ll find the taste disagreeable.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6

Average in terms of True Colors performance, below average in terms of general energy drink performance.  Enough to ease the difficulty of concentrating on renal histology in class, but not nearly enough to make one feel actually awake.

KICK (DURATION) —6

This (and any other True Colors product) is best employed as an early-morning drink, if it is to be employed at all.  It will provide a pick-me-up to last until an early lunch hour, and from there you’re on your own.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5.67

Honestly, True Colors—Fruit Punch generally sucks.  It is outstripped in just about every area by other drinks, some of which do not perform so well in certain areas themselves.  The True Colors line is gone for good, and I for one won’t be missing it.

WEBSITE: the expired domain drinktruecolors.com

KEYWORDS: True Colors Fruit Punch energy drink review, discontinued

Review for True Colors--Sugar Free


CAFFEINE CONTENT

Unknown.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

True Colors—Sugar Free is found with all True Colors energy drinks at the Big Lots energy drink graveyard.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

For some reason, I find that the packaging on True Colors—Sugar Free actually works—which is weird, because I dislike extensive aluminum exposure, and I found the trichromatic “COLORS” on the original to be dull and irritating.  But here—the aluminum gives the impression of something clean, and the sparsely used colors appear vibrant enough to make up for their less-than-extensive use.  The picture doesn’t do it quite the justice it deserves, but suffice it to say that the can actually instilled within me a hope that something good might be contained within.

TASTE—3

I knew it was too good to be true.  Mediocre Red Bull clone, appalling overuse stevia…you do the math.  It’s a pretty terrible-tasting beverage, and easily the worst Red Bull clone I’ve reviewed to date.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6

The kick experience provided by True Colors—Sugar Free was comparable to the rest of them—somewhat effective, but still fairly low-octane.  With the others I was critical but still able to look it over to some degree, but after the taste, the payoff is just insulting.

KICK (DURATION) —6

You’re looking about 2 hours before True Colors—Sugar Free gives out.  After that, the experience is over, and the only impression it’s made on you is a negative one.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5

Just…just don’t.  Stay away.  It’s not worth it.  True Colors—Sugar Free tastes really bad, and the kick is nowhere near enough to make it worth it.  Heck, with the multitude of other energy products on the market, I have a hard time thinking of a kick that would make the taste worth it.

WEBSITE: drinktruecolors.com is what’s listed on the can, but don’t bother trying it.  Domain’s gone.

KEYWORDS: True Colors Sugar Free energy drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, stevia, Stevia rebaudina, discontinued

Review for True Colors--Orange-Tangerine


CAFFEINE CONTENT

Unknown.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

I have never seen True Colors—Orange-Tangerine outside of a Big Lots store, but if you’re hoping to get a hold of this or any other True Colors flavor, you should probably be able to find this unless you’re reading this review years after I post it—True Colors is very slow to leave the shelves, as though it were a sort of undead energy drink that refused to acknowledge the fact that it’s been discontinued.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

I can’t complain about the packaging on Orange-Tangerine as much as I did the original; it seems that at least somebody involved in designing the can thought, “Hey…we’re calling this drink True Colors, so why don’t we put some color on the can?  I know!  Since it’s Orange-Tangerine, let’s make the dots orange!  Orange flavor, orange dots!  It’s brilliant!  It’s still got a fairly lazy motif to be sure, but at least the orange and the rest of the (black) can work together to form an at least halfway acceptable color scheme.

TASTE—6

I’ll give True Colors props for thinking to put tangerine in their drink (I’d love to see more companies do something with the hosts of citrus fruits apart from orange and lemon than actually do), but the execution isn’t spectacular.  The tangerine taste offers a pleasant distinctness to the beverage, but the flavor gives way to a generic orange soda effect with a sort of bitter chalkiness to further mar it.  Nice try, True Colors, but maybe next time you could…oh wait, never mind.  You went out of business.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6

Meh.  Kick’s passable.  You’ll notice it, it might help you stay awake through class, but there isn’t anything else to say about it other than that.  Bypass this and buy something stronger if your need to stay awake is desperate.

KICK (DURATION) —6

True-Colors—Orange-Tangerine helped me awake for my first couple of classes, but about two hours later, the drinks capacity to induce alertness had burnt out, and I was ready for a nap.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6

The only thing really noteworthy about True Colors—Orange-Tangerine is their use of tangerine in the drink, but even this suffers from lackluster implementation and a subpar kick.  You’ll be better off drinking a Rockstar (Sugar Free if you’re counting calories) to for energy and eating a couple of tangerines to satisfy your cravings for the flavor.  True Colors—Orange-Tangerine doesn’t really offer anything worth seeking it out for.

WEBSITE: Was drinktruecolors.com…wait, do I even need to mention that?

KEYWORDS: True Colors Orange Tangerine energy drink review, discontinued

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Review for Amp Energy--Sugar Free


CAFFEINE CONTENT

142 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Amp Energy—Sugar Free is on the scarcer side of things.  The more I watch for it the less I seem to see it; I would advise that any desirous to satisfy their curiosity by trying it out pick it up sooner rather than later, before it vanishes altogether.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6.5

Due to the vast exposure of aluminum over the periphery of the can, Amp Energy—Sugar Free looks a bit bland, albeit not as much as it could gave been.  I do very much like the black flame and the shade of green employed here and would love seeing Amp do something more complete with this scheme in the future, but until then Sugar Free’s all we’ve got.

TASTE—6.5

I found the taste of Amp Energy—Sugar Free to be curiously distinct from the original Amp Energy.  While the latter was principally passion fruit and orange flavored, the former reminds me more of the less-than-placeable citrus-ish taste of the original Mountain Dew, though it does taste slightly watered down and is overwhelmed a bit by the aftertaste of artificial sweeteners.  If you like Mountain Dew there is a chance you’ll like Amp Energy—Sugar Free, though the aforementioned artificial sweeteners are not skillfully employed here and may be a turn-off to some.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6.5

The kick was rather characteristic of the Amp Energy line; it kept me awake, though for most of the time I still could feel some degree of fatigue.  I found it useful for keeping me from falling asleep over my physiology studies, though for a long drive I’d probably go for something at least a bit stronger.

KICK (DURATION) —8

Amp Energy—Sugar Free actually surpassed my expectations in terms of longevity—while most Amp beverages tend to give out after an average of two hours, I got about 3½ before I felt tired enough that I could have slept had I needed to.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

Well, it’s not spectacular, but by my standards Amp Energy—Sugar Free still does alright.  Health-conscious Mountain Dew lovers will be the most enamored by this beverage, though with the rest of us it will be more of a toss-up.

WEBSITE: ampenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Amp Sugar Free review, zero sugar, sugar free, low calorie, lo cal hi power

Monday, November 21, 2011

Review for True Colors


CAFFEINE CONTENT

Uncertain.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

If you’re looking to get a hold of True Colors head to Big Lots—which apparently is where energy drinks go to die.  If you can’t find it there, you’re probably out of luck (so to speak).

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—4

I’m not sure anybody involved in True Color’s design actually cared about what they were doing.  They name the drink ‘True Colors’ (which doesn’t make a lot of sense as the name of an energy drink anyway), and…they don’t do a thing with the can.  Regular, repeating silver dots over the lower ¾ of the can give the illusion of a fizzing beverage, then above that is the name of the drink, with the word “COLORS” in drab shades of blue, green, and red that somehow remind me of a 1970's television set.  It’s nothing offensive, but still the laziest thing I’ve ever seen as far as presentation is concerned.  Oh, and one more thing—trying to read the ingredients and nutrition facts with those silver dots in the background is freaking obnoxious.  Just had to get that out in the open.

TASTE—5.5

When I read the word “Original” on the can, I knew what I was getting into—Red Bull clone, or a stab at it…ah, the irony.  Sure enough, it was exactly that, but the taste is very substandard as far as Red Bull clones are concerned.  It’s got the beginnings of the Red Bull flavor, but it’s exceptionally sour towards the end and possesses a significantly bitterer (yeah, according to Microsoft Word, that’s more correct than “more bitter”) aftertaste than Red Bull.  I’m not sure that True Colors will find a specific niche among energy (I guess it would be more correct to say, “would find a specific niche”, since the drink was discontinued) except perhaps the odd consumer that is looking for a cheap boost and doesn’t really care about what they get.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6

True Colors has kick enough to take the edge off of one’s fatigue, but should not be counted on for anything more substantial than that.

KICK (DURATION) —6

I got about two hours of efficacy after drinking True Colors, after which I crashed and was done for the day.  If that’s all you need, then I suppose you could go with True Colors.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5.83

All in all, this drink is pretty second-rate.  The flavor is tolerable but not at all pleasant, and the kick is by-and-large unremarkable.  My final verdict: just pass it over.  You want an inexpensive Red Bull clone?  Try Slap Frost Low Calorie, which 1) tastes better, 2) kicks like the dickens, and 3) has only 30 calories per can.

WEBSITE: Was drinktruecolors.com, but the domain’s up for grabs with the discontinuation of the drink.

KEYWORDS: True Colors energy drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, discontinued

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Review for NOS--Loaded Cherry


CAFFEINE CONTENT

260 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

I have no clue as to why, but this one is actually pretty hard to find.  Over the course of my travels since the time that Loaded Cherry came out, I have only seen it a handful of times.  If you happen across it (it seems to be found most frequently at gas stations or grocery stores with a diversely stocked energy drink section), I’d pick it up; otherwise you’ll probably have to wait a while before you find it again.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

By my estimation NOS looks good in dark red, even to the point where that noxious urine yellow color that NOS is so fond doesn’t really seem offensive.  Only complaint I have with it is that it may be something that gets lost in the energy drink refrigerator unless you’re familiar with NOS and deliberately looking for Loaded Cherry—it has the tendency to blend in with the other NOS beverages (a side effect of the huge vertical “NOS” logo running up the front of the can, which tends to take the color down to a level of secondary consideration), especially in the presence of Fruit Punch.

TASTE—8

I’ve tasted a wide range of cherry beverages with varying results, so my mind was pretty open when I popped open my can of Loaded Cherry.  It’s got that expected cherry soda smell, and once you start drinking the flavor is akin to that of the cherry flavoring in cherry 7-Up, except more concentrated and without the lemon/lime.  It’s a pretty nice experience, especially with the high degree of carbonation the drink possesses.  I almost wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry when I drank it so I could have savored it just a bit more.

KICK (INTENSITY) —10

Even for a NOS beverage, Loaded Cherry hits you pretty dang hard—seeing as it just occurred to me that this is indicated by the “Loaded” in “Loaded Cherry”, I can say that it the performance of the drink is true to the name—I have not had such a dramatic experience with a NOS drink before.

KICK (DURATION) —10

Only a couple of drinks that I’ve had can compare with NOS—Loaded Cherry’s longevity.  The peak of efficacy lasted at least 2½ hours, and it as about six before I felt like the drink had worn off to the degree that I could sleep if I felt thus inclined.   Thing is, even after that, I didn’t exactly feel thus inclined; I don’t know if I should attribute that to the drink or not.  Either way, short of a Spike energy drink (which deliver a kick I consider way north of necessary or even simply excessive) or Rockstar Zero Carb (read that review next), you can’t ask for a better duration of kick than that provided by NOS—Loaded Cherry.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33

For the well-rounded energy drink aficionado, NOS—Loaded Cherry is a must.  The cherry flavor is near the top of the list of best cherry-inspired drinks I’ve had (enough to satisfy all but the most selective cherry lover), and the kick was enough that it caught me off guard.  Given the chance, take the shot and drink this beverage.

WEBSITE: drinknos.com

KEYWORDS: NOS Loaded Cherry energy drink review, high performance, dark red can

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Review for Go Fast Coconut Energy


CAFFEINE CONTENT

162 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

As with other Go Fast products that are not the original beverage, Coconut Energy is quite difficult to find, and getting a hold of a can will in all likelihood require a great deal of patience.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

The basic idea for the Coconut Energy can is the same as the original, with diagonal logo and stock graphic—the only difference is the presence of coconuts.  I was not terribly fond of the packaging on the berry and lemonade/lime flavors, but if only for the sheer intrigue produced by the idea of a coconut flavored energy drink, Coconut Energy supersedes its Go Fast peers in terms of ability to grab and hold one’s attention.

TASTE—4

While not the most unpleasant taste experience of my life (that goes to either the pineapple rehydrating solution I had in Colomba, Guatemala or Rockstar 2X), I could not bring myself to enjoy Go Fast Coconut Energy.  It basically consists of the original flavor (carbonated mint and honey tea) with some coconut flavoring and stevia.  Now, I wasn’t a fan of the original flavor (even if it still wasn’t terribly bad), I do like some coconut-flavored products, and stevia…well, stevia is its usual ungodly self here and nothing can change that, but put all these things together…it was just way too weird.  I had a hard time getting it down, and even after I had there was a moment when I came dangerously close to ending my 16-year vomit-free streak (I was saved by the carbonation of the drink, which substituted emesis for a belch).  Is it unique?  Yes.  Is that a good thing?  Not in this case, no.

KICK (INTENSITY) —7

After the taste, it seems kind of pointless for me to say that it worked, but I have to follow through with the entirety of the review and say that it did.  It’s not a strong kick, mind you, but it will wake you up in a hurry (less than five minutes) if that’s what you need.

KICK (DURATION) —8

The duration of energy efficacy was long enough to be worthy of note.  At least 3, 3½ hours can be expected after the starting point before one begins to slow down.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

Regardless of efficacy, I cannot bring myself to recommend this drink.  Having had the experience I did with the taste, if I do not warn against it, I have failed as a reviewer and perhaps deserve to drink another can (but no more than that).  Does it work?  Yes.  But just about every drink I’ve reviewed (with a few exceptions) has to some degree.  If this is sort of the kick you look for, there are plenty of other drinks that will do the same thing without making you ill.  And, if you really need it, there are stronger drinks than this one, and most of them taste just fine.  If you really must give it a try, fine.  But don’t say I didn’t warn you.


KEYWORDS: Go Fast Coconut energy drink review, stronger for longer, sports energy drink, stevia, Stevia rebaudina

Review for Slap Frost Low Calorie


CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

The only place where I’ve seen any Slap product make an appearance is at Wal-Mart, where it is sold for a mere 98 cents per can.  I do not ordinarily award a high score for ease in acquisition to a drink that is only carried at one chain, but given Wal-Mart’s ubiquitous nature, I believe that in this case the high mark is warranted.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

The design of the can in which this product is sold is about as simple as they come—quadrate logo in blue and white, with additional information concerning the product found in blue/black bands at the top and bottom of the can.  It’s not so remarkable as to be particularly noteworthy, but neither is it so generic that it warrants any special criticism.  This is a bargain energy drink, after all.

TASTE—7

I opened the can for Slap Frost Low Calorie thinking I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into—I envisioned a very sweet Red Bull clone with a significant artificial sweetener aftertaste and the same dirty taste in the mouth as I got after the original, with a hint of a cooling mint sensation in my throat once I was done.  I was right about the first and last parts—this is indeed a Red Bull clone (perhaps just a bit sweet for my liking), I did get that interesting tingling sensation as I was drinking it, but there was no artificial sweetener OR dirty aftertaste to be found.  It isn’t by any means a perfect energy drink, but it really is quite drinkable, and is definitely a better representation of what the company was trying to achieve than the original.

KICK (INTENSITY) —9

I was quite impressed with the kick provided by the original Slap Frost, and its low-calorie counterpart currently under scrutiny matched it in every whit—the drinker gets a substantial amount of energy with a fair amount of jitters, though I noticed that the serious case of the shakes that I got out of the original was absent from this health-savvy variant, which I consider to be to its credit.

KICK (DURATION) —10

It is only now that I notice that on the cans of both the low calorie and original Slap Frost beverages is the phrase “Multi-Stage Energy Supplement.”  I have no idea how this is managed, but it would explain why this drink is so long lasting.  There were times when I honestly thought it would never quit.  It did eventually, but it was only about six hours later before I honestly felt that the drink had stopped working.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

Slap Frost deserved kudos for a fantastic kick, for going out on a limb and trying to create something different for the masses and for delivering it at such a low price, but in truth they really needed to clean up the taste.  In Slap Frost Low Calorie, I feel that they have done just that.  It delivers the same fantastic kick as the original, but without that earthy aftertaste that plagued it.  If you are looking to see what the company is all about, make your drink Slap Frost Low Calorie.

WEBSITE: slapdrinks.com

KEYWORDS: Slap Frost Low Calorie energy drink review, low calorie, 30 calories per can, 15 calories per serving, traditional energy drink flavor, Red Bull clone, sensation energy