Review for Monster Nitrous--Black Ice

CAFFEINE CONTENT

135 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Not a lot of locations carry Monster Nitrous—Black Ice, significantly fewer than those that carry the other three.  Given how long I’ve seen the others sitting on the shelves, I’m guessing they’re wary about having another Nitrous product collecting dust on their shelves forever.  Plan on having to hunt it down.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Same Monster Nitrous template, except with a background that’s their most chaotic yet—dark and light blues in a pattern that reminiscent of a blizzard.  This sort of thing is good when your slogan is “Unleash the Nitro Beast”—going by the packaging alone,  one almost feels inclined to believe that it may do just that.

TASTE—10

As will all Nitrous products, opening the battery-shaped 12-oz can produced an alarming, borderline violent release of pressure…I will weep if Monster releases another Nitrous product; I just know that one day I will pick up a can that somebody has shaken up and will lose my hand when I open it.  But I digress.  Took my first sip, and…wow.  This stuff is way good; light years better than I ever thought a zero calorie drink would manage to be.  The taste is of raspberries (whether blue or not, I have no idea…is there actually a difference between the flavor of blue and red raspberries?), in all of their tart, delectable glory—every bit as real as though they had been macerated and put straight into the can with a shot of caffeine.  And you know that annoying artificial sweetener taste you get with a lot of those other sugar free/zero calorie/whatever drinks?  Hardly any to speak of—that trademark Monster Nitrous smoothness takes over before any such aftertaste can have an appreciable effect.  Well played, Monster Energy Company…very well played….

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

The kick isn’t precisely stellar; as with many it just takes you to the point of being decidedly awake, which is sometimes all you really need.  Might not be my first choice if I’m looking for something really stout, but for most everything else it will still do a satisfactory job.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Longevity was above the arbitrary average, even though I’m starting to find that more and more drinks are above said average—I may need to raise the bar a bit.  All the same, the drink has nothing to be ashamed of in this regard, and I’d trust it to keep me going in most situations where I need a reasonably long-lasting boost.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

To sum things up, Monster Nitrous—Black Ice is unquestionably the best of the Monster Nitrous line.  The flavor is spectacular, even for a Nitrous drink, and it delivers a reasonably effective kick, especially compared to the rest.  This is one I'd really love to be able to find as easily as most other Monster Energy products.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Nitrous Black Ice Energy Drink review, nitrous oxide, extra strength nitrous technology, zero calories, zero sugar, sugar free
 

Review for Xenergy Cherry Lime Premium

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Not easy to find, but still short of being difficult to find.  Only one chain of gas stations around here carries it, and that only half the time, but it’s still a major chain, which by and large balances it out.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

Never been a real fan of the extensive display of aluminum—always makes me think of words/phrases like "watered down" and "tasteless."  Xyience tries to make the template look nice, with some success, but even what colors they have don’t especially wow me—the particular shades of green and red just look way too old person décor-ish for my tastes.

TASTE—6

I have very mixed feelings for the taste.  On one hand, it actually tastes real to a degree—how often do you get a drink that actually seems to try to taste like what’s written on the can (outside of the Xenergy line)?  On the other hand, the artificial sweetening of the drink bogs it down—the aftertaste of the sweeteners is strong, and even with all that the drink at times tastes watered down, with a strange texture that I can only describe as “foamy”—and no, I don’t refer to the carbonation; it’s something else entirely apparent only in the aftertaste.  Further points are taken off for the lack of cherry in the “Cherry Lime”, which seems almost downplayed into nonexistence here.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

The subpar flavor of the drink had me ready for a subpar rest of the experience, but it packs a wallop appropriate for the official drink of the UFC—saying that a drink “packs a punch” has never been more appropriately put to use.  I was fairly jittery towards the beginning, but the phenomenon subsided after a half hour or so, following which I was very awake and alert.

KICK (DURATION)—9

Xenergy Cherry Lime Premium…well, goes the distance.  I was up and going for about as long as I could have asked for, with absolutely zero crash to speak of once the drink had worn off several hours later.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

In conclusion, Xenergy Cherry Lime Premium is unquestionably effective as an energy drink, and Xyience earns my full respect for the obvious effort they put into making a drink that stands apart from the masses—it is a beautiful thing to know that there are people who are willing to take the risk inherent in creating something fresh and different, rather than taking the safe route and hashing out yet another Red Bull clone.  Still, such efforts don’t always result in a 100% payoff, as evidenced by the flavor of this particular beverage, which in my mind still has a ways to go before perfected.

WEBSITE: www.xyience.com/index.cfm?fa=shop.beverages

KEYWORDS: Xenergy Cherry Lime Premium Energy Drink review, authentic taste, official UFC energy drink, low carb, zero calories, sugar free 

Review for Slap Energy--Frost

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

Ordinarily I consider a beverage’s presence at Wal-Mart sufficient grounds for a 10 for ease in acquisition; however, Wal-Mart is the only place I’ve seen that actually carries this stuff, for once providing something that’s (somewhat) out of the mainstream.  Given the near omnipresence of Wal-Mart here in the States, finding any Slap Energy product should still be, by and large, a fairly effortless endeavor.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

As a general rule, I don’t favor the expansive exposure of aluminum on energy drink cans—it makes me think of the sugar free and low carb versions of drinks, which seem to almost scream “STAY AWAY” just by that getup (see the sugar free versions of Amp Energy and NOS for examples of this phenomenon), but even still, I think Slap Energy does an alright job with their packaging—somehow, the red and black plus the metallic light grey of the aluminum work together well here.  In addition, I couldn’t help but smile as I read the spiel on the side of the can immediately to the left of the front, which starts off by saying, “Hello…Thanks for checking out this part of the can.”  I like a little attitude in an energy drink.

TASTE—6

Slap Frost provides an unusual variation on the Red Bull clone trend, and one that I don’t think works especially well.  The namesake of the drink is in reference to an unnamed ingredient added to provide a unique cooling sensation to the drink, which presents itself as sort of an after-effect once the drink has been swallowed…a sensation akin to consuming something cool with mint in it.  I’m not sure if this ingredient is what does it, but there is something that mars the energy drink flavor by its presence, which I find difficulty describing…almost kind of an earthy, dirty taste.  Not extensive, but definitely noticeable.  While I’ve got to give props to Slap Energy for trying to provide something different (very refreshing to see that somebody actually cares about that), the result isn’t entirely successful.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

This stuff wastes no time getting started, and once you’re going, you’re going strong.  This is the first energy drink I’ve had that’s actually given me the shakes at the start, which will make it great for a long evening of studying and what not, but something I would definitely stay away from if one plans on operating heavy/dangerous machinery that requires precision of the digits, at least for the first little bit after drinking it.  The effect didn’t last long, but it is still worthy of note.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Slap Frost possessed a very impressive longevity, lasting for several hours before I at least ceased to feel the effects thereof.  Equally impressive is the lack of crash at the end of the road; once it’s over you’re simply back to normal.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

All in all, I was pretty impressed with the performance of this drink—just got to fix that flavor; with the low price (only 98 cents plus tax) and a kick like this, Slap Energy products could wind up as some formidable competition to just about any of the current mainstream energy products (Monster Energy, Rockstar, Amp Energy, etc.).  I will reiterate that the brief period of the shakes at the beginning makes it a risky choice if you’re going to be working with stuff like buzz saws and the like immediately after consuming it—notwithstanding the brevity of the phenomenon, it could still present problems; I’d wait at least a half hour after drinking it if you’re going to be doing anything of the sort.

WEBSITE: slapdrinks.com 

KEYWORDS: Slap Frost Energy Drink review, Red Bull clone, mint, colorless liquid

Review for Monster Nitrous--Killer B

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A while back, I was reading a review on edjunkie.com and read the review for this drink.  Two formulations were mentioned—an old, and a new.  Well, by the time I got ahold of a can, it was for sure the new formulation—you know, with the ‘Extra Strength Nitrous Technology’ logo rather than the traditional deranged “NITROUS” logo.  Moved on with my life after the fact, but recently, while visiting a Mexican store, I came across a batch of the old can of Killer B—which had obviously been there a long time.  Grabbed a can, blew the sizable amount of dust off, bought it, and thereafter drank it.  I’m here today to note that there is indeed a difference, and to review both.  I’m going to go out of order today, just because the newer version is the one I tried first, and the comparison will make more sense if I go that route.

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—9

I used to see this stuff everywhere; now I’m starting to notice that a few places have stopped carrying it.  Still, it’s not hard to find, and you can get it just short of everywhere.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

Same unleashed-beast appearance of the other two, with the slanted Monster M, except with a moderately more regular background—yellow honeycomb in this case.  The contrast between the chaotic appearance of the other two Monster Nitrous flavors and this one is something I found intriguing; I’m surprised I haven’t seen more people buying it sooner.

NEW FORMULATION

TASTE—8

I expected the characteristic release of pressure from this drink as I experienced from the others of the Monster Nitrous line, but I still wasn’t quite prepared for what I got—a tremendous WHOOSH and a spray of fine mist that reached the nearby wall and ceiling.  Checking to make sure that I still had all my fingers, I took a swig, and experienced a flavor of a curious citrus persuasion, predominantly lemon.  There was a mild sweetness akin to the sweetness of honey in there without the flavor thereof (I’m guessing that this is where the “Killer B” came from), but it was definitely less sweet than the others.  One way in which it was similar to the others is the unique carbonation and very smooth flavor, which made this pretty easy to take down.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6

I was noticeably fatigued before drinking this, and was brought to the point of being reasonably awake after the fact, without any jitters.  Effective, if a bit standard.

KICK (DURATION)—7

Duration was average, with no crash after the fact.  Nothing more to report other than that.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

The best way to sum up this drink is a pleasant taste experience with a standard energy experience.  I don’t recommend it for a serious wake-me-up, though it should do for anything less.  My approval of it isn't the most enthusiastic I've offered, but still, I can't say there's anything to be lost in trying it.

OLD FORMULATION

TASTE—9

As I mentioned, there is a difference between what you can find now and what was once available.  There’s a similar flavor profile to the new, except for two things: 1) the lemon flavor is more convincing and less generic, and 2) you can actually taste honey in there.  It’s thicker, and with a smoother sweetness than the newer version.  Nothing life changing, but enough that I liked it more.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Same as the new.  Decent, if a bit average.

KICK (DURATION)—7

Average—2½ hour’s worth of energy without a crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

So…even if it I won’t lie in bed weeping at night because they changed the flavor (I’ll save that for the fact that Heavy Metal was discontinued), I’m a bit baffled by Monster’s decision to do so.  If you can find it, get the old version while before it’s gone for good.

UPDATE: As of September 2012, Killer B has been discontinued.

KEYWORDS: Monster Nitrous Killer B Energy Drink review, nitrous oxide, extra strength nitrous technology, two flavors, new version, old version

Review for Knockout Energy--The One Two Punch

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Almost always found with the original; the places that carry it are few and far between.  They seem to be most abundant in obscure locations, like remote highway gas stations.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

Same issues I have with the original I have with this one; the name (think this through…“Knockout” as the stuff that will keep you awake…), the “99 cents” sunburst, etc.   Still, the basic design is sufficiently different from those of the drinks that you tend to see everywhere so as to be able to catch one’s eye when one encounters it, which I consider to be to its credit.

TASTE—7

As indicated by the namesake, the drink is fruit punch flavored.  The drink was more carbonated than both Vegas Fuel and Rockstar Punched—Tropical Fruit Punch and less sugary (at least as far as taste is concerned) than the two, which led the experience to be at least reasonably agreeable, if not exactly outstanding.  Still, I’d strongly recommend Venom Energy—Death Adder if you really must have fruit punch.

KICK (INTENSITY)—5

Knockout Energy—The One Two Punch was quite unremarkable in this respect (again, like the original); it settles with providing a kick that simply borders on recognizable rather than being ambitious and actually providing something substantial.

KICK (DURATION)—8

The effects were reasonably long lasting, but given the fact that the kick was so weak to begin with, to what degree does duration make a difference?  Being just awake enough to do the job isn’t a pleasant level of energy to find one’s self in, but if you take this stuff down, you should plan on being there a while.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.67

Essentially, this is just a fruit punch flavored variant of the original—unremarkable and uninspired in just about every way imaginable.  One can tell that as little effort as possible was placed into the drink, and the low price reflects the low value of the stuff.  If nothing else is available or if you're a collector, go ahead and try it, otherwise there's really no reason to do so.

WEBSITE: knockoutenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Knockout Energy Drink review, fruit punch

Review for Knockout Energy

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Places that carry this stuff are few and far between—I was fortunate enough to find a place that carried it about 15 minutes from where I live, but other than that, I haven’t found it terribly easy to come by.  Interestingly enough, visiting my wife’s grandparents (who live—I’m being dead serious here—in the middle of nowhere) I stopped by a few gas stations to get directions, and everywhere I went seemed to have it.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

Knockout Energy advertises itself as sort of a bargain energy drink, and comes complete with a stamp advertising the pre-determined price of “99 cents.”  Overall, the look isn’t horrible—the can, with its black color, white fist, and green brass knuckles, was one of the first to catch my attention in a gas station refrigerator dominated by mainstream energy drinks.  At the same time, however, there are aspects of the packaging that seem to reflect efforts to curtail expenditures and thereby ensure the desired low price; examples being the actual name of the drink (does “Knockout” sound like a drink that you’d trust to keep you awake?), the flavor (the green trim and the designation of the flavor as “Original” leads me to a 99.99% surety that the drink is yet another Red Bull clone, hardly original and highly indicative that neither thought nor effort were placed into the flavor), and the stamp itself (I’m all for a bargain energy drink, but I do not believe that the yellow sunburst stamp is the way to advertise it; it really looks cheap).

TASTE—8

Rant as I may about the recurrence of the Red Bull flavor in the energy drink world, I still like the taste.  This is as good as any Red Bull clone as you’ll find on the market (i.e. about equal to the original Monster Energy, though inferior to Monster Energy—Import) and with the price, it may be one of the few that manages to find a significant target demographic.

KICK (INTENSITY)—5

The kick delivered was fairly lackluster; it was just enough to keep me from falling asleep, but far from enough to really wake me up.  Needless to say, it left me feeling rather unimpressed.

KICK (DURATION)—8

The effect produced by the drink lasted a decent while; however, given the tame nature of the kick, it wasn’t the most agreeable state of awakedness I’ve ever experienced.  Also worthy of note was the crash after the fact, which left me feeling more wrung-out and drained than simply tired.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

En fin, Knockout Energy receives a passing grade, though I found the entire experience to be dishearteningly ordinary.  Even if I have to admit that I like the traditional energy drink flavor, I’m tired of getting it half the time I open a can of something I haven’t tried before; and the kick amounted to an experience that was quite unimpressive.  If you have to try it or if it’s the cheap energy drink you’ve always been looking for, go for it; otherwise you really aren’t missing anything by passing it over.

WEBSITE: knockoutenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Knockout Energy Drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor