Sunday, July 7, 2013

Review for Great Value Energy--Dragonfruit


120 mg/packet


It’s the Wal-Mart brand—need I say more?


As indicated in my previous review—Wal-Mart is not terribly concerned with the appearance of their products.  They don’t need to be.  People will hunt them down and buy them no matter how they look—heck, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that people still bought their painkillers with the Ku Klux Klan insignia emblazoned on the top of the bottle (okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating…but just a little).  Seeing as price is absolutely the driving factor, why would Wal-Mart go out of the way to make sure their products popped of the shelves?


See, I had no idea what to expect in this product here.  Ever seen a dragonfruit?  If not, look to the right—and tell me, have you ever freaking seen a fruit like this?  Soak in the look of the fruit, and imagine—what do you imagine something that looks like this is going to taste like?  Chances are you’re thinking the same thing I did—that a fruit that looks like this is completely incapable of delivering anything but a juicy thermonuclear explosion of tropical fruit deliciousness, something so impressive that you find yourself getting kinda amorous for years after the fact just by thinking about the experience.

Truth is, though, it’s very plain.  Slightly sweet and very pulpy.  I do need to try them again—this time without the expectations.  Be interesting to see if that makes a difference.  Anyway, I’m off on a tangent; let’s get back to the review.  My point is—how the heck is this drink mix supposed to taste?  Has anyone ever attempted to make an energy mix that’s pulpy?

Anyway—so no expectations, no idea what to expect, I take a swig—and I honestly to this day (it’s been a couple of months…yeah, I’m behind on my reviews) I cannot pinpoint what this tastes like.  All I can think is “tropical berry”—but not the disgusting fructose kind that is Snake Eyes—Tropical Berry (review coming soon); it’s more of a balanced, indistinct sort of berry flavor—maybe highlighted by notes of papaya (assuming you don’t get the variety that tastes like straw).  Anyway, it’s alright, enough that I feel comfortable noncommittally suggesting that you give it a shot, and let me know what your thoughts on the matter are.

Incidentally, don’t try to stir this into your ice water with your finger—march your backside back downstairs and grab the fork you forgot.  I made that mistake, and my index finger and knuckle were a bright magenta for days after the fact.


So after all that discussion on the flavor, I have to say—the kick’s pretty average.  If you want something significant out of it, you’ll want to mix two packets in (make sure you have enough water to keep it from getting too concentrated); otherwise just be prepared for a moderate boost in attentiveness and reaction time.


Three hours, no crash.


Ordinarily, I’d leave it to the reader to decide whether or not this is something they should invest in (cheap energy, but not all that much BANG for the buck).  But…I’m going to make an exception in this case, just because I want to hear the reader’s thoughts on the flavor.  So if you get the chance, by all means by a box.  And leave a comment below telling me what the heck you think this tastes like.


KEYWORDS: Great Value Energy Dragonfruit review, zero carbs, zero calories, zero sugar, diet, energy mix

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