Thursday, October 27, 2011

Review for Monster Energy--Heavy Metal

To start things off, I should let you know that if you plan on reading the entirety of this review, you will probably want to get comfortable.  I’m going to deviate from my normal format a bit and write this as sort of a review/memoir.  Given how dang near impossible finding Monster Energy—Heavy Metal was, actually being able to get my hands on a can and give it a shot was a bigger deal than it would have otherwise been, and it will consequentially be given a more extensive treatment.  That said, I will make an end to the preface and get started.


320 mg/32 oz. can


When I first got into energy drinking a couple of years back, I discovered a nifty website ( containing, among other things, a sizable list of energy products with their corresponding caffeine contents.  Browsing said list, I found a product that for some reason intrigued me: Monster Energy—Heavy Metal.  Looking it over, I made a mental note to keep an eye open for it and went on with my life.  A few months went by, and after checking at every single convenience store, grocery store, and gas station I came to, not a bit of luck—nobody carried it anywhere, ever.  I knew it existed, or at least should—it was at the time on the Monster Energy website—but after a time the company discontinued the product, and I all but gave up on finding it until I finally decided to bite the bullet and bought a can on eBay. Moral of the story: this drink is, for all intents and purposes, impossible to find, and unless the Monster Energy company gets inundated with petitions to bring the beverage back (which I doubt), I don’t think it’ll ever get easier.  UPDATE (11-16-11):  In response to rumors concerning the acquisition of Monster Energy—Heavy Metal, I made a trip to Big Lots and found that, at least for the time being, they do stock it there.  If you're hoping to find it you should be able to do so there, though I'd act quickly; I doubt that supplies will last.


A look at the can should be enough to tell anyone why I became so intrigued to begin with—even next to Import, Heavy Metal sports probably the best packaging of any Monster Energy product I’ve seen.  The thing is a beast—the first thing you notice once you see it is the fact that it comes in a freaking huge 32 oz. can, and only then you see the motif…poison green background, metal concert silhouette in the foreground, Monster M and Heavy Metal logo repeating twice over the periphery of the can—it’s the kind of packaging that most energy drink companies scarcely manage to dream of, let alone produce.  Full marks to the Monster Energy company for this one.


The prospect of tasting Monster Energy—Heavy Metal had me a little apprehensive to begin with—the fact that reviews were almost universally negative aside, they were, for the most part, not helpful at all in giving me any sort of idea as to what I should expect tastewise.  One review described the taste as being a homogeny of body fluids gathered from the mosh pit of a heavy metal concert, another describing it as being akin to petroleum distillates, and in yet another (a video review) the individuals filming it simply pointed the camera at each other and called each other gay for five minutes before each giving it a sip and offering exceptionally vague critiques of the flavor.  Naturally, when the time came to try it myself, I did so having no idea what I was getting into.  Opening up the can, the first smell reminded me to some degree of NOS, but distinct all the same (it is interesting to note that the smell changed as I continued drinking…about halfway through it started to smell like my wife's mango/peach gum, and after that it took upon itself a pleasant fermented odor).  Taking a taste…it was equally hard to place; I was inclined to show some degree of mercy towards those who found themselves unable to describe it themselves.  Giving it my own shot, the taste reminded me of the tastes of grapefruit and lime, but without the sourness of either.  Strangely enough, I also tasted a little bit of salt in the mix—almost reminds me of limes sprinkled with salt.  While I can understand why some people wouldn’t be terribly fond of it, I have a hard time understanding the loathing some demonstrated for it.  As for myself, I found the result to be exceptionally delicious, and by far one of the most unique things I have tasted since I started energy drinking.


And now on to the kick…well, with 320 mg of caffeine, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that it wasn’t long after I finished the can that I found myself to be exceptionally energetic, and for a brief time felt almost uncomfortably so—even as diluted as it was, it’s still got a ton of caffeine, and isn’t for featherweights.  Also to be noted is the fact that the drink, with all its caffeine and its 32 oz. size, makes for a potent diuretic.  Take this into account if you plan on drinking it before a long drive, movie date, meeting, etc.


No surprises or disappointments here, either.  If you need to be wired, Monster Energy—Heavy Metal will keep you wired and functional for the better part of five hours after the fact.  Even as hardcore as the kick I got out of it was, I was quite impressed with the lack of crash after the fact.


Well, I for one am sorry to see this drink go.  I loved Monster Energy—Heavy Metal…I loved the tasted, I loved the kick, I loved how different it was from everything else I’ve tasted.  Concluding this review, I’m reminded of the song “Would You Love a Monsterman” by Lordi—I’ve tried Monster Energy—Heavy Metal, and I can indeed understand the beauty of the beast.  If given the chance, I recommend you try it, however big an “if” that may be….


KEYWORDS: Monster Heavy Metal review, 32 oz. can, discontinued, impossible to find, south-of-the-border, Unleash the Beast, limited edition, BFC


  1. DUDE!!!!! I just found these Monster Heavy Metal cans at "Big Lott's" a clearance type store. I bought ten cans of this for a $1.50 each!!!!!

    My biggest mistake cuz I love it and I think they are not making them anymore. Oh welll....

  2. It tastes similar to the Lost Cadillac energy drink, which is also made by Monster Beverage Company. That drink was targeted to the Latino community, though by the packaging of the Heavy Metal drink, I don't see how this one could be.

  3. I might have to go to my local Big Lots store. I've gotten a can of Heavy Metal at my local Grocery Outlet and it was only $2 per can, but if Big Lots has it for only $1.50, then I'm in! I just with they sold normal Monster BFC cans in the Elk Grove/Sacramento, CA area.

  4. This drink sucked in taste. I couldnt figure out the taste. The closets I could discribe it is sour apple without the apple taste and sweetness. But in energy it did what you expect from monster drinks and more.

  5. Opened a can of it today, its available and the local grocery outlet store, $2. Drank a but, tasted like a watered down NOS...went out to do stuff, came back a few hours latter, now it tastes like a REALLY good beer (without the alcohol) im talking beer that actually tastes good....not like rotten bannans or something

  6. Found a large stash at the local Big Lots for $1.50 a can. What a rush......

  7. Happened upon it at my local Big Lots as well. I am a monster fan, but having never seen the Heavy Metal version I didn't know to expect a difference in flavor. I thought it was rotten! LOL... but now that I researched it a bit, In fact I'm still sipping on it, I understand what they were going for. It is meant to be a mixer. It is margherita flavor. Never been a huge fan of margherita's myself but as far as nailing the flavor of one into a non alcoholic beverage goes? Kudos to Monster.

  8. just tried it for the first time today and it was amazing kept me awake and energized for college and still energized 23 hours afterward, and it gives me great focus and speed cuz i typed this in like a minute which is unique LOL

  9. Just tried it. It's margarita flavored, quite plainly. Not bad. Found it at Grocery outlet for two bucks a can.

  10. Craaaaaaaaaaaaccckkkk!

  11. Recently found this at a Big Lots near my city. Not every BL has them though, so if you're searching be prepared to make several stops.

  12. Just had it last night, to stay up for the city's firework show. I read it was supposed to taste like a Margarita, but never having had one before, it was something like lime, guava, pineapple... not even sure. I could tell, though, it was meant to be mixed with alcohol. It was kinda gross at first, but after a few sips it was really good. I recommend splitting it with someone like I did, unless you really need the energy and have eaten/drank water beforehand. Kept me up for a while; I started drinking it at 9 and finally conked out at 1:30.

  13. Got one of these at my big lots too it taste good like beer I didntnfinish it just because I was a lot but was good with good energy

  14. I had 2 of these last night in about 6 hours and played ps3. Needless to say monster is the best even if I got the runs from too much caffeine. I unfortunately see why it was discontinued. Im heading to big lots tomorrow to spend another $3 on 64 oz of greatness and do it all over again. Monster needs to revisit the bfg can or another 32 oz can.


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