Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Review for X Games Energy--Wild Berry


Probably 160 mg.


Picked this one up at Big Lots, which means it in all likelihood had a run somewhere and failed miserably.  If you actually liked the drink, don’t worry—I’m willing to bet we’ll be seeing it there in the energy drink graveyard for a long, long, long time.


Never before have I seen a drink that fits in so well with its Big Lots habitat—it is incredibly bland, and blends into its surroundings so well that you would think it looks upon consumers as predators and has, as a result, evolved camouflage to avoid being found.  If you’re on the hunt and stop by Big Lots, be sure to pay attention—X Games Energy makes for a crafty prey item, and if you’re not careful you may leave without even knowing it was there.


Drinking X Games Energy caused me to recall an experience with an acquaintance I had when I was younger.  This wasn’t a finicky individual—in fact, cover whatever it was in that industrial nacho cheese stuff, and chances are he would eat it.  In any case, one day he decided to experiment with soda—mixing just about any carbonated beverage he could get his hands on, from Sierra Mist to Diet Mountain Dew to Shasta Root Beer to whatever the heck else there was nearby.  He felt quite pleased with his…creation, and proffered me a mug, which I, out of politeness, drank, watching in wonder as he downed it by the gallon.

I’m confident the same approach was used to create X Games Energy—this is the most unfocused, disjointed, confusing, chaotic mess of an energy drink I have ever had.  The can designates the flavor as “wild berry” (actually, it’s one word on the can—‘wildberry’)—which I suppose is as good a guess as any.  Big Red Boots calls it a Red Bull clone—with reason; I’m sure they put some of that flavor in there also…I think I did pick up a hint of it.

Bottom line—there is no one identifiable flavor in here.  There are untold zillions of them; each with their own conflicting degrees of sweetness, tartness, and whatever other attributes you can pin down on an individual flavor.  It’s almost like what would result if the trains involved in the wrecks from The Fugitive or Super 8 were carrying tanks full of random flavors—except, maybe, for key lime.

I was able to get this down without any difficulty, for which I must give it a point (another goes to it for using sucrose rather than HFCS, so it will only kill you half as fast), but I have to make note the spectacular, almost awe-inspiring badness with which this drink was executed.  When it comes to its sheer manic character, X Games Energy has no peers.


Even after what it put me through in terms of flavor, X Games didn’t even have the decency to give me a good boost—okay, so it did make my headache go away, but that’s beside the point.  Kick was only average, producing alertness, but no jitters.  On the plus side, though, it didn’t have any taurine in it—it even says so on the label.

Wait…since when were we worried about taurine in our energy drinks?  I thought all the hubbub was about the high levels of caffeine…but should we have been worried about the presence of that lone organic acid?  Apparently, according to X Games Energy, which is so proud of the fact that makes a point of telling us on the can that it is, in fact, taurine free.


Nothing spectacular—two hours, 45 minutes to three hours of efficacy were experienced, with no crash after the fact.


I have had plenty of energy drinks, but few that I disliked as much as X Games Energy.  It’s an absolute wreck, from its frenzied flavor to its dishearteningly lackluster kick.  This is not a product that has done nothing to deserve the layperson’s consideration, and is best left to roam, unbound and free, in wild savannahs of Big Lots.

KEYWORDS: X Games energy drink review, bargain energy drink, wild berry, hydration

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