EASE IN ACQUISITION—6
If interested, keep an eye on the supplement section of your local grocery store (it is absent at larger chains) or fitness-oriented nutrition centers and chances are you should be able to get your hands on it—otherwise it’s available online.
This is a can that had the potential to look so good and yet turned out so…not. There were a few things that could have been done to improve the look considerably—employ a matte finish to saturate the colors (as with this drink’s fruit punch counterpart), lose the grossly pixilated bullet, tweak the VPX logo so it doesn’t clash so badly with the rest of the can—but as is it looks semi-bleached and bland, almost appears as though it’s been sitting in the high desert sun for a month or so.
When I was down in Guatemala, I was acquainted with a few folks from El Salvador, who raved regularly about a beverage available there called “Kola Champagne”—Eng. champagne cola, which is what we have here. I never had the chance to try it myself, but descriptions of the flavor ranged from bubble gum to cream soda to a non-alcoholic champagne. Only being acquainted with those first two (I’m a teetotaler), let me say that 1) this doesn’t taste like either of those things, and 2) I don’t know how the devil to describe the way this tastes. I do know that I quite like it, and could drink it for the flavor alone (if it weren’t so d*mn strong that I’d hesitate to indulge myself in that regard more than once a month), but that’s about all there is to say on that.
Bang is hands down one of the most potent energy beverages I’ve ever had. It’s so strong I’m feeling the need to go back and demote a number of energy drinks to which I assigned high intensity ratings—it’s drinks like this that tend to put a reviewer into perspective.
But let’s break it down bit by bit, so you have an idea of what you should expect. Chock full of stuff like creatine and 357 mg of caffeine (should have known from the parallels I could draw to a powerful revolver caliber that this would pack a punch), I drank this before my evening at the gym, about 30 minutes before I headed in. By the time I was ready to hit Jacob’s Ladder, I was vibrating under the influence of a truly explosive degree of energy. I tore through that thing like I never had before (583 calories burned), and even though I had begun to feel the effects of not hydrating properly beforehand about 20 minutes into it, I only slowed down marginally, and finished strong. After a very long draft of water at the drinking fountain and a slight break to let that get into my system, I set about my pectoralis major/triceps brachii workout, constantly on and often pushing myself past the edge of my physical limits.
After the fact, I headed home, and about seven hours after I drank it, I should have been ready for bed. Remember what I said about drinking it in the evening? Big mistake. I lay there tossing and turning for at least a half hour before I dozed off, and even then I felt like I was just barely beneath the surface, almost like when your head is tilted back underwater so that your eyes are covered but your nose and mouth aren’t. I was like that for about an hour before my wife coming to bed woke me up, and I settled in to a deeper sleep.
Bottom line—this is a gym beverage, suited to hardcore fitness junkies more than anything else. It’s also an enormously potent beverage, not to be underestimated or drunk casually by anyone—including the aforementioned junkies.
As I indicated—seven hours of energy. Probably more than that. I woke up the next morning still a little uncertain about whether it had worn off or not.
THE DRINK OVERALL—10
I’m giving my “thumbs up” for the drink, but I’m a little uneasy about it. It is an immensely powerful supplement, and needs to be treated with due respect. So…if you’re in excellent health, are of age and have need of such a thing, go for it. Otherwise, do be smart and get your boost from something significantly less potent.
KEYWORDS: Bang energy drink review, workout supplement, zero carb, zero calorie, zero sugar, sugar free