Saturday, July 27, 2013

Review for Jolt Energy Gum--Spearmint


Est. 80 mg/serving (two pieces)


Fairly sparse, much like any Jolt product.


As far as looks are concerned, I really don’t feel there’s a lot to comment on here.  Aesthetically it’s short, sweet, and to the point, if a bit on the cartoony side of things; functionally it’s got all its ducks in the row with the exception of a declared caffeine content.  The only clue you have is the statement ‘two pieces of Jolt gum = one energy drink’ on the front of the package, which is about as vague, though markedly less self absorbed, as the ever-popular “about as much caffeine as the leading premium cup of coffee.”  Seeing as this usually translates into about 80 mg, I took it upon myself to make the educated guess of 40 mg/piece.


In addition to being a bit of an energy drink aficionado, I consider myself a connoisseur when it comes to chewing gum.  Having been a chain chewer since mid 2006, I’ve had a lot of time to figure out likes, dislikes, and explore the nuances of flavor, texture, and potency of different brands and flavors of gum—which more or less means that I know what I like and why.  That being said, I’m excited for my first shot at an energy chewing gum, and am very much looking forward to experiencing a product that delivers a delicious taste, pleasant texture, decent caffeine boost, and freshness of breath.

This is not that product.  It is an absolute mess, the sort of thing conceived by people who obviously have no idea what they’re doing and apparently don’t care, much like what you would expect if Ford decided to start making pool tables.  Let’s go over it bit by bit so you get the idea.

First things first—you stick this in your mouth, and you immediately notice that this is a good deal tougher than most pieces of gum; kind of like it’s held together with a small amount of rubber cement.  Hoping that it’ll get better with some chewing, you go at it for a minute or two, during which it turns to mush and almost disintegrates on you.  About this time the flavor starts to come out, along with a healthy degree of caffeine bitterness.  The bitterness lasts about ten minutes, and the flavor only about 30 or so, after which you find yourself chewing what seems to be the piece of a truck tire.

Does this sound remotely like anything you want to experience?  Even for curiosity’s sake, it’s a high price to pay; think twice before buying.


On top of its strongly disagreeable flavor, this gum does a pretty lousy job as an energy product if you’re looking for anything serious in the energy department.  Will you feel ever so slightly more alert?  Sure.  Will it actually wake you up?  Not by a long shot.


Best guess is about an hour of efficacy.  Like my last review (Energy Gummi Bears), no need to comment on the lack of crash.


Jolt has failed and failed catastrophically with their energy gum; even if it is convenient the lousy payoff just isn’t worth it.  Avoid.

WEBSITE: (aside from Spike Energy, probably the least informative energy product site I’ve been to)

KEYWORDS: Jolt Energy Gum review

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