Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Review for Muscle Monster--Vanilla


157 mg


When I first found these, they were in that obnoxious impossible-to-find-for-everyone-but-me stage of distribution—if you’ve ever tried to find Monster Energy—M3, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Having travelled a bit since that day, however, I have seen them just about everywhere—seems that I was just in the last place in the freaking continental US to get them.  Hate it when that happens.


As I indicated in my review of the chocolate offering, the lighter the background of Muscle Monster products get, the lower the quality of the print—in this case, the iconic Monster M and that awesome “MUSCLE” spanning a lower portion of the can don’t do a thing.  The yellow-ish can is ugly and cheap-looking, and I can actually see casual consumers turning their nose up on this in favor of one of the tastier-looking dark cans.


The pre-drinking turning up of the nose, as it turns up, would be entirely appropriate.  If, as you are scoping out the different Monster beverages in their ginormous fridge, you feel the inclination to pass this one over, I encourage you to follow that.

Muscle Monster—Vanilla is gross.  It seems as though I’ve been over a thousand adjectives in my head, and I keep coming back to that one.  Having turned out perfectly delicious energy shakes in the forms of the coffee and chocolate flavors, I can’t for the life of me figure out what they were thinking here.  It tastes like cheap, almost-sour tapioca, and is very hard to choke down.

If my experiences with drinks like this is in any way indicative of the future of this particular beverage, you can probably expect to see it populating the shelves of Big Lots soon.  In my opinion, it can’t get there soon enough.


Having been through this with other two more delicious beverages, I almost feel as though I don’t need to go through this again—but here we go.  This is a perfectly stout Monster Energy beverage, a bit heavy for anything but weightlifting but functionally adequate for the purpose.


Three and a half hours (about), slight crash.


Drink one of the other two, skip this one.

KEYWORDS: Muscle Monster Vanilla energy shake review

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