EASE IN ACQUISITION—3
Provided you live in Washington State (the company is based out of Seattle), it’s almost impossible to visit a gas station/mini mart/most anywhere and not see Golazo. As soon as you cross the border, however, you run out of luck. Given the momentum the company’s picked up, however, it wouldn’t surprise me if we soon started seeing Golazo throughout the pacific northwest.
I love the concept of Golazo energy drinks. Everything about this drink tells me I should love it—the name Golazo (Spanish “gol” meaning “goal,” and “-azo” meaning “exceptionally awesome”—so more or less the name of the drink indicates that it not only shoots and scores, but does so in a fashion that few, if any, can match), the triumphant soccer player person, the “Born to Score” slogan—even the eagle eating the snake seems to be portrayed in the fullness of its glory here. If I weren’t so dang finicky about my color schemes, I would laud the packaging for another paragraph or two. As is, however, I’ll say that it did get my expectations up, but the grayish-white/faded Astroturf green did cause me to sneer a bit.
In terms of flavor, Golazo Sugar Free shoots…but doesn’t get the goal. In fact, it misses so badly that it is the flavor equivalent of the ball going into the freaking stands and pegging a 70-year-old lady in the face, breaking her nose, giving her two black eyes, and sending her to the hospital with a concussion. So what goes wrong here? First thing is the flavor itself—the mango I’m supposed to taste is only just perceptible. It doesn’t last long, either; it is quickly swallowed up in the bitter aftertastes of the artificial sweeteners present. And then, as if all that wasn’t enough, the stevia comes into play. It is exceptionally easy to go overboard on the stuff, and the makers of Golazo demonstrate the fact by doing just that—with results that approach nauseating.
Writing this section is going to require quite the shift in gears—the flavor has me positively incensed, but I have nothing but good to say about the kick. Golazo only has 100 mg of caffeine, but notwithstanding the fact, it gave me a heck of a pick-me-up and even got me jittery—not only that, but it was the good kind of jittery; not the kind that makes you uncomfortable to be sitting still for the slightest fraction of a second, but the kind that gets you a little more chatty and has you moving a little more quickly than usual. It’s the sort of thing I’d love to experience on a daily basis—but, it tastes bad.
Again, this is fairly respectable given the modest caffeine content—three and a half hours easy, with no crash. Loved it!
THE DRINK OVERALL—6.17
As you can tell, my feelings are very mixed—on one hand, it tastes really bad, but on the other, the kick is frickin’ awesome. The thing to remember, I guess, is that I’m kind of an exception to the rule—I don’t think everyone’s as sensitive to stevia as I am; the taste of the stuff just makes me sick. If it doesn’t do that to you, heck, grab a Golazo Sugar Free!
KEYWORDS: Golazo Sugar Free energy drink review, hydration energy drink, sports energy drink, soccer energy drink, zero sugar, zero carb, zero calorie, low carb, all natural