Review for Monster Energy--Import Light

CAFFEINE CONTENT

186 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

I don’t know if it's because Import Light is just taking a while to catch on, but by Monster standards it’s a bit hard to come by.  Still, it isn’t by any means impossible or even hard to find, but don’t be frustrated if one location doesn’t have it—just check the next closest, and chances are it’ll be there. 

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I love that Import Light features the familiar crest and that awesome resealable can of the original; my only real tiffs with the beverage involve the substitution of blue for green in the design, which doesn’t seem to work as well with the silver crest as the green, and the freehand font in which the word “Light” written beneath the Monster Energy logo, which just seems out of place on an otherwise stately format.  Even though the effect lacks creativity and is not quite as impressive as that of the original Import, some of the appeal still remains, and will probably be enough to pique the curiosity of the health-conscious energy seeker.

TASTE—9

Import Light was a thoroughly enjoyable taste experience—it has the same complexity, the same smoothness, the same careful emphasis on sour over sweet as the original; the only thing I have to say against it is that it does betimes have a moderate artificial sweetener aftertaste that proves to be a bit distracting.  That aside, Import Light is exceptionally easy to enjoy, all the more because you don’t have to worry about the untold calories in sugar you’re consuming—because for the most part, they aren’t there.

KICK (INTENSITY) —9

Import light held its own in terms of taste, and in like manner delivered a fantastic kick that left very little to be desired.  It starts quickly (it was already beginning to work its magic as I was finishing up the can), and during the fact I enjoyed a very high level of functional alertness, with jitters enough to be noticed but not to be considered excessive.

KICK (DURATION) —10

Full marks for Import light in this category—I enjoyed hours of a nice, smooth energy boost, and even after the fact staying awake was not a problem for another long while.  I crossed the finish line without a crash, just a pleasant sleepiness indicating that a nap was in order.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33

With a taste and kick like those delivered by Monster Energy—Import Light, there is very little I can say against it.  Fans of Monster Energy who are engaged in a bit of calorie counting (and even those who aren’t) would benefit from giving it a shot.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Import Light Energy Drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, resealable can, low calorie, 57.5 calories

Review for Rockstar Sugar Free

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg/16 oz. can

240 mg/24 oz. can

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Rockstar Sugar Free is every bit ubiquitous as the original; if you find yourself in a location in which it is unavailable, turn around—you’re in Antarctica.  Or in Rio Blanco, San Marcos, Guatemala.  Either one.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

For a zero calorie beverage, Rockstar Sugar Free actually holds its own in terms of packaging.  It’s just the typical Rockstar motif (angled gold star, logo, etc.) with white as the background color, and stands quite well on its own.

TASTE—10

The original Rockstar is not exactly a healthy beverage…with 62 grams of sugar in a 16-oz. can, it’s more than enough to make me cringe.  Naturally, the idea behind Rockstar Sugar Free holds quite a bit of appeal to me—think of the original Rockstar with all its pineapple-ish goodness and without the sugar.  Well, with your first can, you’re not going to get that—it’s good, to be sure, but scarce is the moment where it tastes like the original.  The coating smoothness that was very prominent in Monster Energy—Low Carb is present here (same sweetener blend, I imagine), almost to the point of completely covering the Rockstar taste.  That was my experience with the 16 oz. can—with the 24 oz. can, which I reviewed later, the sucralose taste was almost gone—and it tasted like a less sugary version and actually smoother version of the original, which I found to be quite gratifying.  So I assign a taste rating to Rockstar Sugar Free based on my second can—give it two shots before you pass judgment on it.

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY) —10

In this respect, Rockstar Sugar Free is a Rockstar beverage to the core.  I love that I got a kick that was every bit as effective as the original, with a startling degree of alertness, impressive amount of jitters, and speedy, somewhat exaggerated reactions to varying stimuli.

KICK (DURATION) —10

Performance in this category is again reminiscent of the original—5+ hours of energy, culminating with little to no crash.  How I’ve missed you of late, Rockstar….

THE DRINK OVERALL—10

By my estimation, Rockstar Sugar Free is an excellent beverage that earns its place in an illustrious line of quality energy supplements.  As a tasty, no-nonsense energy drink that one can imbibe without (caloric) guilt, Rockstar Sugar Free has few peers.

24 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

I smile just thinking of my experience with the 24 oz. Rockstar Sugar Free—there are so many ways in which I just loved it.  Maybe it was the fact that I had a really nasty headache (can’t eat too late or that happens to me) and this was my medication of choice at that moment.  Maybe it was the fact that this time, I actually found it to be a wonderful substitute for the original.  Or maybe it was because the kick was just so dang fun.  I hadn’t gone 10 minutes before I was bouncing off the freaking walls, chatting it up with the time with my wife and her family and just generally having the time of my life.  This is an awesome drink with an awesome kick.

KICK (DURATION)—10

This drink will give you about 5½ hours of effective kick before it’s all over, at which point it gently sets you down and lets you go to bed—as opposed to the kick-in-the-balls crash you get out of Wired X 344.

THE DRINK OVERALL—10

Rockstar Sugar Free: I love you.  Readers: drink this drink.  Enjoy this drink.  That’s all I have to say.

WEBSITE: rockstar69.com

KEYWORDS: Rockstar Energy Drink review, pineapple, double energy, double size, party like a Rockstar

Review for Team Realtree Outdoor Energy--Low Carb

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Unknown.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

Any Team Realtree product is more likely to be sold at specialty stores than anywhere else, and their energy drinks are no exception.  I bought all of mine at Sportsman’s Warehouse, and outside of their stores, I’ve only seen them once (at a gas station in Montana, which actually kind of makes sense, given the theme).  Good news if you live near a Sportsman’s Warehouse or other such store, bad news if not.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I’ve always liked the packaging on Team Realtree’s energy drinks.  The original evoked a nostalgic sort of feeling within me (I grew up in New England, and am quite comfortable in a forest setting), and I at least respected what the company was trying to do with Blaze Orange and White Buck.  I can’t truthfully say that I dislike the design they opted to put on their Low Carb variant, but I don’t know that what appears to be a muddy lake in the middle of a coniferous forest was the best woodland scene they could have picked.  That aside, I love the thick aluminum bottle with the resealable cap, and wish that more energy drinks would pick up on that.

TASTE—4

Given the fact that in times past, most beverages labeled “Low Carb, Low Calorie, Zero Calorie, etc.” have been variants of a sugared and otherwise identical beverage, it kind of came to me as a surprise that Low Carb was a unique drink, bearing no resemblance to the original.  The taste?  Cream soda.  If you like cream soda, more power to you, but I really hate cream soda.  To me, the idea is flawed in the same way meat ice cream is flawed—you have meat, and you have ice cream, but you don’t mix them.  Same goes for cream soda—you have cream, and you have soda.  Mix them and the result is a “what the FRICK is this?” kind of experience.  If this were all, I might be a little more forgiving, and even say “if you like cream soda, feel free to discard everything I said and enjoy your Team Realtree Outdoor Energy—Low Carb.”  Alas that this is not the case…the drink possesses an aftertaste that is quite offensive (very bitter and acrid), almost reminiscent of my experience with Rockstar 2X, and I doubt even you cream soda lovers could stomach that.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

However much of an ordeal it was trying to get it all down, Team Realtree Outdoor Energy—Low Carb is rather effective.  I was particularly pleased with how fast-acting it was; I drank this just before heading out to class, and once I was there (about 15 minutes later), the maximum effects had already set in.

KICK (DURATION) —8

Usually, the more potent a drink is, the longer it will last.  Though there are exceptions to this rule, this drink is not one of those.  It will provide 3-3½ hours of solid energy, after which its effects simply diminish without a crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.67

In the end, although Team Realtree Energy Outdoor Energy—Low Carb works pretty well, drinking it is not an experience I’m anxious to repeat or recommend unless in a time of exceeding desperation.  If you hate cream soda, you’ll hate Team Realtree Energy Outdoor Energy—Low Carb, and if you love cream soda, you’ll hate Team Realtree Energy Outdoor Energy—Low Carb.  That’s about all there is to it. 

WEBSITE: store.realtree.com/team-realtree-energy-drink.html 

KEYWORDS: Team Realtree Blaze Orange Energy Drink review, cream soda, low sugar, low carb, low calorie, 20 calories, sportsman's drink, outdoorsman's drink

Review for Venom Energy--Mojave Rattler

CAFFEINE CONTENT

170 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

I found this one to be more scattered than the other three; for whatever reason most locations that carry Black Mamba, Death Adder, and Killer Taipan don’t carry Mojave Rattler.  In the end it is a bit of a pain to find.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—10

If you’ve seen the Venom bottle, you know that energy drink packaging doesn’t get much cooler.  If you know anything about purple, you know that no other color has the same potential to make things look awesome.  Put the two together…well, you can imagine.  And if you can’t…well, that’s why I take and include a picture.

TASTE—8

Mojave Rattler is basically the same drink as Black Mamba—just the traditional energy drink flavor with fewer carbs.  I wasn’t thrilled with the betimes-distracting aftertaste, but it had that wonderful Venom fizz that I’m so fond of.  If you like Black Mamba but don’t want to deal with the calories, the taste in Mojave Rattler isn’t so much different that a huge sacrifice would be made in drinking it.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

This one works as well as any of the line—the intensity is about the same as Death Adder, except I found the effect to be more on the jittery side, so it’s not much of a comparison.  Regardless, it is in this respect quite effective, leaving little lacking.

KICK (DURATION) —10

I always like it when an energy drink has appreciable staying power, and Mojave Rattler has it in abundance—about as much as any (excluding the mutant Spike Hardcore Energy—The Original) on the market.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

Even if I found the aftertaste is a little bit obnoxious, Venom Energy—Mojave Rattler tastes pretty dang good otherwise, and is very effective to boot.  And all this for only 60 calories…not a bad deal at all.

WEBSITE: venomenergy.com 

KEYWORDS: Venom Mojave Rattler Energy Drink review, traditional energy drink flavor, Red Bull clone, high carbonation, low carb, low calorie

Review for Team Realtree Outdoor Energy--White Buck

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Nowhere to be found.  I’m almost tempted to take a sample, throw it into the spectrophotometer up at the biology department, and find it that way.  But then again, Team Realtree might sue me if I attempted to publish the caffeine content, so probably not the best idea.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

By and large, Team Realtree Outdoor Energy—White Buck is pretty scarce; only a handful of the outdoorsman’s stores where I frequent carry it.  Good thing is that if you can find one you can find ‘em all, which makes satiating one’s curiosity for the line/filling vacancies in one’s collection somewhat easier.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Well, there’s not a white buck to be found anywhere on the bottle, but the snowy woodland it portrays is still nice to look upon, and is packaged in a nice, thick aluminum bottle, for which I’m always willing to grant an extra point or two.

TASTE—6

White Buck is meant to be a Red Bull clone, but to be truthful it isn’t an especially good one.  It has the same combination of flavors as Red Bull or Monster Energy or any of the others, though more emphasis is placed on one of those flavors more than the others, resulting in the drink with poor balance and an unpleasant taste reminiscent of too-sweet white grape juice.  I don’t mind different takes on a familiar formula, which sometimes works (as in the case of Monster Energy—Assault) but in this case, it doesn’t.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

It’s a little slow getting started, but once it finally started working, I was actually impressed.  I’ve kind of figured out a way to control the jitters such that they aren’t as quick to manifest themselves, but in this case I found it hard to help myself—even my wife seemed to notice and raise an eyebrow at my excessive chattiness.

KICK (DURATION) —8

White Buck continued to perform well quite consistently throughout the afternoon.  There was a semi-gradual tapering off of effectiveness after 3½ hours or so, after which there was no crash, though a nice nap came with relative ease.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

I’m a bit torn in my final assessment.  On one hand I’ll make no claims for the flavor, but at the same time I found the kick to be commendable, and for that the drink does deserve at least some recognition.  I’ll call it a toss-up, and leave the decision up to the reader.

WEBSITE: store.realtree.com/team-realtree-energy-drink.html

KEYWORDS: Team Realtree Energy Drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, sportsman's drink, outdoorsman's drink 

Review for Monster Energy--Absolutely Zero

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg/16 oz. can

240 mg/24 oz. can

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Given the demand for a zero calorie Monster Energy beverage (see the side of the can for details; typically I don't put a lot of stock into what drinks say on the sides of the cans, but in this case it makes sense), it isn’t surprising that Monster Energy—Absolutely Zero is so easy to come by.  It’s as common as any of ‘em.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—10

With its ice blue/muted dark blue/purple color scheme (and curious geometric tracings visible upon close inspection), Absolutely Zero is quite an attention catcher/holder.  Given how little thought is placed into the packaging of most zero calorie beverages (see Amp Energy Sugar Free and NOS Sugar Free for examples), the ingenuity placed into the concept of  Absolutely Zero represents a refreshing breeze (or ice-cold nor’easter) of creativity.

TASTE—8

Well, I have to say I did like this one, though I have to put out the word of warning that like Lo-Carb, this one won’t please diehards of the sugared version.  It’s Monster, to be sure, but the difference from the original is perceptible, if only barely.  By way of elaboration, the extensive smoothness from the artificial sweetener(s) that masked a great deal of the flavor in Lo-Carb is significantly less extensive, leaving more of that delicious Monster flavor that so many of us love, though there was a time or two where I did pick up traces of another artificial sweetener aftertaste that was a little distracting.  All-in-all Monster did a bang-up job with the flavor—I just really hope they never decide to put some other low-calorie beverage with stevia as the sweetener….

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

The kick was pretty nice.  I was at that point of alertness that one likes to be at when they’ve just had an energy drink—a nice, high level of functional alertness, with enough jitters to be noticeable, but not enough to be considered excessive.

KICK (DURATION) —8

The longevity of effective alertness was plenty more than adequate.  Perfect for a long morning of studying or test taking, or anything of the sort.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

Again, Monster has exceeded my expectations with a not-so-high-calorie (in this case zero) energy drink.  It tastes good and works well—what more can you ask…oh, wait.  It’s also got zero calories.  Almost forgot to mention it.  That said, even if you’re feeling particularly apprehensive about it I’d recommend you give it a try; if nothing else you at least get a shot at finding a drink that you love that you don't have to feel guilty about drinking, and how cool is that?

24 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—9.5

If you take down 24 ounces of Monster Energy—Absolutely Zero, expect it to hit pretty hard and pretty fast.  I was still working on the can when the jitters started, and it only got more intense.  I’ll say this—if you need to stay awake, Monster Energy—Absolutely Zero in this size can definitely be counted on.

KICK (DURATION)—9.5

Nothing’s worse than getting a nice, hard kick out of a drink, only to have it crap out on you before the job’s done—but, this isn’t a problem with Monster Energy—Absolutely Zero.  4+ hours of efficacy can be anticipated at the very least.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

Honestly, even though I consider the 16 oz. version sufficient, I wouldn’t hesitate to grab the 24 oz. given the chance.  I’m quite fond of the flavor, and found the raw intensity of the drink to be quite gratifying.  Now if only Absolutely Zero came in a 32 oz. BFC….

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Absolutely Zero review, zero calories, traditional energy drink flavor, Red Bull clone, Monster Absolutely Zero 16 oz. review, Monster Absolutely Zero 24 oz. review, 16 ounces, 24 ounces