Review for Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot--Pomegranate

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Not listed, but has to be on the high end of things.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Live near a Maverick gas station?  Pick up your Nitro 2 Go shot there.  I haven’t seen them anywhere else.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

This one actually looks halfway decent, at least compared to the Sweet Berry.  The same weird homogeny of fonts is present here, but the ridiculous sunburst/rasta color scheme is gone, replaced by none other than the color purple—whom we can thank for today’s episode of Sesame Street and for the relatively decent appearance.

TASTE—4

In a word—fake.  Doesn’t even tastes like pomegranate…more of a thin grape cough medicine than anything else.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9.5

Say what you want with regards to the taste—but let me tell you, this is not a low-key shot.  If you’re going to go and down the whole thing, get ready to buzz hardcore—and to do so for quite a while.  Read on.

KICK (DURATION)—10+

I don’t now what kind of regimen one would need to follow to get the 14 hours of energy the bottle talks about—and given the price and the flavor, I’m not terribly interested in going back for experimentation.  But for downing the whole shot in one go, I got 10 hours of really serious energy that only tapered off at the end, culminating at a minor crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—8.17

If you’re the sort that’s into shots and doesn’t really care that what you’re drinking tastes like sweetened dog bile (I know there are people out there that eat rocky mountain oysters and other sex organ-based foods to prove how manly they are; I assume these are the sorts of people that are into these gross-tasting shots) and need an insane degree of energy, then this is a great product.  As for myself—I’m partial to energy products that actually taste good, and Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot—Pomegranate is not on my “to revisit” list.

WEBSITE: nitro2go.com

KEYWORDS: Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot Pomegranate review, zero carb, zero calorie, zero sugar, diet

Review for Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot--Sweet Berry

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

Unknown—but doubtless formidable.  Read on.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Only place I’ve seen this is at Maverick’s gas stations out west.  Good news if you’re looking to get your hands on it and live near one of these, bad news if not.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—3

They just don’t get any more generic than this.  Huge words in a plethora of different fonts and a cheesy sunburst pattern in the background make this one look shoddier than most.  Only thing that calls your attention to it and keeps it from fading into the background with the rest of the overly flashy impulse buys at the counter is that it’s one freaking huge shot—kind of hard to pass over a shot that’s towering over its competitors, at least in the literal sense.

TASTE—4

When Big Red Boots told me that I would find at least as many 5 Hour Energy clones in shots as I did Red Bull clones in drinks, I was almost loath to believe it, especially after actually trying one and tasting how bad it was.  Well, I’m starting to find that such is indeed the case, this Sweet Berry shot being an example.  It’s as fake and medicinal tasting as any energy shot out there, but tastes perhaps a hair better—mainly because they get to dilute the generally bitter energy ingredients in four ounces of liquid.  Still, in terms of taste, it’s nothing that I’d be in any hurry to get a hold of.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9.5

 You looking for a serious shot?  Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot—Sweet Berry is a really freaking serious shot.  In terms of energy, it is definitely one of the more intense ones out there—I’d compare it to either of the 5 Hour Energy Extra Strength shots, except with more jitters.

KICK (DURATION)—10+

I didn’t get the advertised 14 hours out of this shot…but I did get 10.  And let me tell you—they were very, very jittery.  Did observe a crash after the fact, but nothing really worthy of any extended scorn.

THE SHOT OVERALL—8.17

Like the convenience of energy shots?  Need a big freaking bucketload of energy?  Don’t care what your energy-delivering agent tastes like?  Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot—Sweet Berry is definitely the way to go.

WEBSITE: nitro2go.com

KEYWORDS: Nitro 2 Go Mega Shot Sweet Berry review, 14 hours of energy, diet, zero carb, zero calorie, zero sugar, diet, powerful energy blend

Review for 5 Hour Energy--Pomegranate

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

138 mg (special thanks to anonymous commentator)

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

You scarcely need leave your home anymore before being bombarded on all sides with 5 Hour Energy shots.  They’re everywhere, and this flavor is no exception.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

If you’ve read one of my reviews for a 5 Hour Energy shot before, then go ahead and skip ahead to the taste; you know what I’m going to say here.  If not, though, read on.

Sunsets…running…mountains…giant fruits…all these things speak “energy” to me in a way that few things have before.  I love the 5 Hour look; I just wish they took a little more care with the presentation of it.  It’s shrink-wrapped onto the plastic bottle, which is just sad—at $2.75 a shot, 5 Hour Energy can surely do better.

TASTE—4

You know what else 5 Hour Energy can do at $2.75 a shot?  Put some money into finding a way to make them taste good.  At best, 5 Hour Energy shots taste just okay.  At worst, they border on unholy.  Pomegranate is somewhere in the middle—it scarcely tastes like pomegranate and is very harshly medicinal.  It’s tough to make a decent pomegranate-tasting drink—I can respect that—but surely 5 Hour Energy can do better than this.  This is nothing so much as a showcase of the laziness at the top of the energy shot world—they can get away with making shots this bad just because people will still drink it.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Fortunately, 5 Hour Energy shots offer a good kick—mid-range and jitter free, it’s honestly something I’d go for regularly if only they could make it taste good.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Not just effective, but long-lived—you really do get five hours of energy out of this, and you don’t crash, either.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

This, like the rest of the entire line, is mediocre.  The kick is good enough that I have to make note of it, but overall this is still a lackluster energy experience.  I have now reviewed the entire 5 Hour Energy line, and I’m ready to move on—probably for good.

WEBSITE: 5hourenergy.com

KEYWORDS: 5 Hour Energy Pomegranate shot review, zero sugar, zero calories, zero carbs, diet

Review for 5 Hour Energy--Pink Lemonade

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

138 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Not as common as other 5 Hour shots, but will probably show up in more locations soon enough—which is good news if you’re looking to donate to breast cancer charities by getting a mixed energy experience.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

As bright as it is, you can see this shot from across the room—and, funnily enough, you know exactly what it’s about.  Pink product in a line of products that’s not normally pink typically = portion of proceeds to breast cancer research.  I’m in favor of this cause, but…I don’t like the look of the shot.  The 5 Hour running guy is not the 5 Hour running guy without mountains or a sunset.

TASTE—6

Not good—but, still better than the rest of the 5 Hour lot.  The pink lemonade is actually marginally convincing, and it’s well-executed enough to cover a good deal of the vile sourness and bitterness that I get with the other 5 Hour shots—but it still suffers from the acrid sweetener blend.  Curses….

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

In this sense, Pink Lemonade is every bit as good as the rest, providing a decent level of alertness with zero jitters—actually a relatively natural-feeling experience.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Count on the anticipated five hours—sans crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—7.67

I still think it’s an inferior energy experience (a Monster Rehab—Lemonade is a superior substitute), but if you looooove 5 Hour Energy shots had have refused counseling, buy this one—it tastes better than the rest, and you’re helping out a good cause.

For the ladies—here’s how to do a breast self-exam, just because I think it’s important: http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam

WEBSITE: 5hourenergy.com

KEYWORDS: 5 Hour Energy Pink Lemonade shot review, zero calorie, zero carb, zero sugar, diet, breast cancer awareness

Review for 5 Hour Energy--Orange

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

138 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

Not so common as the others, but still pretty easy to find.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

All 5 Hour Energy shots are graced with the appealing imagery of a runner sprinting up a mountain during sunset.  After having tried all…let’s see…nine shots and having almost nothing new to say about any of them, it’s funny how I never get tired of gushing about this.  I love running, I love mountains, I love sunsets, and I love energy—so naturally, I’m a sucker for the combination of all four.  Now, 5 Hour Energy just needs to do two things to earn my approval (because the fate of the most successful energy drink company in the world really hinges on approval of one reviewer…): 1) lose the shrink wrap and stick a decent label on the bottle, which should be three ounces, and 2) make a shot that tastes good.  Monster Hitman might have been boring, but relative to all other energy shots I’ve had up to this point (11-1-12), it’s a veritable masterpiece.

TASTE—5.5

Far from good, but the orange tastes better than most of the other shots, the only exception being Pink Lemonade (review coming soon).  It’s just too bad that the decent flavoring doesn’t do anything about the bitterness or the bad sweeteners.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

In a word—good.  It’s the same story as all the other shots that aren’t extra strength or decaf; just enough mid-grade energy to perk you up and get you functioning.

KICK (DURATION)—10

True to the name—five hours of duration and crash free.

THE SHOT OVERALL—7.5

5 Hour Energy—Orange might be one of the better shots of the line I’ve had, but at the same time, it’s still not great—from my point of view, you could pay less and get a Monster Rehab—Orangeade, which tastes fantastic and still provides an excellent energy experience.  So regardless of its taste relative to other 5 Hour Energy shots, this still provides an energy experience that’s inferior at best—and unless I taste something that changes my mind really soon, that is probably going to be the bottom line my energy shot reviews from here on out.

WEBSITE: 5hourenergy.com

KEYWORDS: 5 Hour Energy Orange shot review, zero carbs, zero calories, zero sugar, diet

Review for 5 Hour Energy--Lemon Lime

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

138 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Extremely common.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Ranks up there with the others—excellent imagery, poor packaging.  Few things scream “energy” quite the way the 5-Hour mountain runner guy does, but few things scream “cheap” quite the way shrink-wrap does.

TASTE—4

The flavor is akin to your run-of-the-mill, citrus-flavored cough medicine—bitter, unconvincing, and generally unpleasant.  Blech.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Average, but…plenty adequate.  No jitters, just mid-grade alertness.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Five hours—no crash.

THE SHOT OVERALL—7

Same story here as with all the others—kicks well, tastes lousy (not so lousy that I feel like ranting for paragraphs about it, though…but lousy enough to instill me with a crushing sense of apathy that’s transferring itself to this review).

WEBSITE: 5hourenergy.com

KEYWORDS: 5 Hour Energy Lemon Lime energy shot review, diet, zero carb, zero calorie, zero sugar, zero appeal