Review for Crystal Light Energy--Wild Strawberry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

120 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Virtually omnipresent, like just about any other Kraft Product.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

I can tell I’m going to get really tired talking about this in the next two reviews—these don’t do a whole lot for me.  Not that there’s anything really wrong with them—I mean, the designs are attractive, the caffeine content is listed, etc.—but it’s a bit obvious that these are designed with the female consumer in mind rather than the male energy junkie that picks them up for a review.

TASTE—8

What the heck is the difference between “strawberry” and “wild strawberry?”  If we’re going by Crystal Light’s interpretation, I’d guess they’re slightly sweeter than their not-wild cultivars, and lend themselves just as well to artificial flavoring.  I know there are people out there who vehemently hate strawberry-flavored items in the same way I hate grape-flavored stuff; if you’re one of those I’d advise you to steer clear.  If, however, you’re okay with things like strawberry Starbursts, then you probably won’t have any issues with Crystal Light Energy—Wild Strawberry.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Crystal Light Energy, in the same vein as Golazo, does more with their 120 mg of caffeine than a number of companies do with 160 mg+.  I never cease to be amazed by their consistency in delivering an effective boost, regardless of my prior energy state.  I can be lying clinically dead on my couch, and a single packet of Crystal Light Energy will have me up and working or studying or cleaning or whatever in less than 10 minutes flat.  If that sounds like the sort of thing you look for in an energy product, look no further than Crystal Light Energy.

KICK (DURATION)—8

In the past five weeks or so, I’ve gone through almost four boxes of these (often one in the morning, one in the late afternoon if I’m exercising or working then).  Each time, I’ve gotten close to three and a half hours of energy without ever experiencing a crash.  I have noticed, however, that if I was really tired beforehand (getting less than six hours of sleep, typically) then the end of the energized state came on fairly abruptly.  Just time your consumption accordingly, and take an extra packet or two just in case and you should be fine.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

I like Crystal Light Energy, and didn’t mind their wild strawberry flavor at all.  When it comes right down to it, it’s a matter of whether you like 1) consistent functional energy with every packet, and 2) strawberry-flavored items.  If these both apply to you, I can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that you’ll probably find something to like in this additive.

WEBSITE: kraftbrands.com/crystallight

KEYWORDS: Crystal Light Energy Wild Strawberry energy drink review, low carb, low calorie, low sugar, water enhancer

Review for Crystal Light Energy--Grape

CAFFEINE CONTENT

120 mg/packet

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Available at just about any grocery store around.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

I don’t really have a whole lot to say here—the box is clean and readily distinguishable from the multitude of water enhancers around it, the caffeine content is clearly listed, instructions are straightforward—only thing I have to say against it, really, is that it really doesn’t elicit much of a response from me.  Maybe it’s because I’m a dude, and these seem to be kinda female-oriented.  I’ll have to ask my wife for the next review.

TASTE—8

In a word—this is grapeade.  I’m generally not a big fan of grape products (the exceptions being Klr Bz—Grape and Rip It—G-Force Sugar Free); most tend to taste either like cough syrup (read: any grape-flavored energy shot) or grape soda (read: most any other energy drink I’ve reviewed that isn’t Klr Bz—Grape or Rip It—G-Force Sugar Free), neither of which I really like all that much.  This, however, is the sort of grape product you want by your side for those hot, heat wave-stricken afternoons we’ve been having as of late—it’s pretty clean and refreshing, not too artificial, not too sweet.  Just be sure you mix a packet in about 20 oz. of water; if you get them too concentrated they’re not all that pleasant (if you’re wanting 240 mg of caffeine, so that’s two packets, you’ll need about 40 ounces of water—which combined with the diuretic effects of the caffeine will have you peeing like a boss…believe me, I know).

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

I’ve got to say, I’m impressed with these little packages of energy.   It doesn’t matter how tired I am, how beat, how worn-out, how dead to the world I am—I can drink one of these down in a mason jar full of ice water, and within ten minutes I’ll feel fantastic.  I might not be buzzing in the same way I would with some energy drinks, but the fact that I consistently reach the same degree of functionality and alertness every freaking time I drink one of these, no matter how tired I am is dang impressive.

KICK (DURATION)—8

I get three and a half hours of energy from these with no crash—though the end can be a bit abrupt if you were really tired before you drank this.  I like a little warning when the experience is coming to an end, but as long as I’m near my couch I’m fine.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

Altogether, this is an impressive product.  It tastes good, works well every time, and to top it all off, amounts to ten energy drinks for about $2.00—and there’s nothing wrong with saving money while getting your buzz.

WEBSITE: kraftbrands.com/crystallight

KEYWORDS: Crystal Light Energy Grape energy drink review, low carb, low calorie, low sugar, water enhancer

Review for Arma

A special thanks goes out to Caffeine King, gentleman, reviewer, and linguist extraordinaire for selecting this drink for his end of a trade.  For excellent energy drink reviews and an excellent opportunity to expand your vocabulary, his site receives my wholehearted recommendation.

Also, this drink marks review #400 since I started this site up a few years back.  It’s come a long way since then, thanks to readers and fellow reviewers who were willing to add links to my site from theirs and give it a boost.  Don’t think it isn’t greatly appreciated.

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—0

As indicated, I received this drink in a trade—and, as it turns out, it’s been discontinued.  So if this review piques your curiosity, drop Arma a line and tell them to bring it back.  I wouldn’t mind that at all.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

At first glance, Arma has one of the best packaging jobs I’ve ever seen— with bold alternating white and yellow striping and lettering, this looks like something that would fit right in at a nuclear facility.  The lines in the background looked to me a lot like circuitry, a touch I considered to be a work of genius—then I saw that those lines were blueprints/outlines of different armaments, and I confess I was a little put off.  So a few points for not being the genius I initially believed it to be, but other than that Arma still holds its own remarkably well in the looks department.

TASTE—9

I actually received this can in the mail back in January (I think), and at that time we were experiencing one of the coldest winters in decades.  So this thing had been sitting in my mailbox overnight in subzero temperatures when I finally got my hands on it—thank heaven for the sugar keeping it from freezing, or I would have been a grumpy man.  Anyway, you haven’t had an energy drink cold before you’ve had it like I had this mothersucker—and let me tell you, it was quite an experience.  To top it all off, it was really good.  The flavor is almost straight pineapple, with maybe a bit of passionfruit or something else adding some nuances of flavor there.  Think what Rockstar would be like if it focused more on the pineapple flavor, got more sour and lost the bitterness (note: I gushed about the original Rockstar in my initial review, but it has since fallen out of favor in my sight…probably should rewrite that review to reflect my current sentiments).  It’s an excellent drink to be sure, and one I’m sorry I probably won’t get a chance to enjoy again.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

In the 400 products I’ve reviewed, I’ve come to favor smoother, low-calorie beverages above just about any other energy product out there.  Still, it is dang nice every once in a while to be able to enjoy a drink in the same way I enjoyed the beverages that first got me into reviewing—just a jittery, sugary blast of formidable energy.  There is nothing whatsoever that’s healthy about this beverage, but once in a while (especially before the gym, as I drank this), there’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes you just need to get freaking wired, and for that, Arma is an excellent choice—or was.

KICK (DURATION)—9

I got a solid four hours of jitters out of this before I reached a point that would most certainly have been considered a crash had I not burnt the sugar off at the gym.  Well played, Arma.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

As you can probably tell, I’m not exactly happy that this is no longer available, but I sure as heck enjoyed the can I had.  It tasted great and kicked in a way few of its peers kick—more of a guilty pleasure than a functional beverage, but one that loses the guilt quickly in the rush.

WEBSITE: armaenergysnx.com

KEYWORDS: Arma energy drink review, pineapple, discontinued

Review for NOS Active--Raspberry Lemonade

This is the last photo I’ll be using from Caffeine King’s blog, so thanks credit out to him for that—but don’t get comfortable; the drink I’ve selected for review #400 came to my hands through a trade with him, so there will be mention of him one last time before the week’s out.

CAFFEINE CONTENT

224 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

(Shrugs) Not hard to find per se, but still a lot less available than beverages like Monster, Red Bull, etc.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

No need to go through this again, but in just in case you haven’t read either of the other two reviews, it works and looks exactly like a hydration beverage should.  Can’t think of anything else to say besides that.

TASTE—8

It’s a pity that NOS made their Active line taste so dang watered down; if it weren’t for the fact this could turn out to be a serious contender as one of my all-time favorite energy drinks.  The best thing about it is the raspberry flavor—I don’ think I’ve ever had an energy drink that nails raspberry quite so well.  The lemon highlights it well but could do a better job; in my book it’s a little bit weak to realize its full potential.  Then there’s the fact that the flavor is so weak and dilute—for which there’s really no excuse, there are plenty of low calorie beverages out there that excel in the flavor department; heck, there are low-carb beverages out there that taste even better than their sugared counterparts.  If NOS could take this back to the drawing board, leave the raspberry flavor intact, and fix the rest of it, I would be going back to it for a lot more than just as a pre-workout energy boost.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

As is, NOS Active—Raspberry Lemonade still makes for an exceptional energy boost for the gym—in fact, one better doesn’t come to mind.  This is the sort of drink that fills you with non-jittery energy enough to sustain you through cardio, weight lifting, and just about whatever the heck else you could do by way of physical activity—and then some.  To top it off, this is the first time I have reason to think that a beverage containing caffeine could work as a hydration beverage—forgot to load up on water on top of this before the fact, but once I was done with my half hour on Jacob’s Ladder, I was showing none of the symptoms of dehydration that usually occur when I’m dumb like that.  I still advise lots of water beforehand, but for energy and hydration, you can’t do better than NOS Active.

KICK (DURATION)—9

This worked for the half hour before the gym, the hour during, and two and a half hours after the fact before I could feel the effects wear off—culminating without a crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

Functionally all the NOS Active beverages are superb energy/hydration drinks for the gym; as far as flavor is concerned this tops the others, no contest.  Pick one up before the your own workout, and leave your thoughts in the comment area below.

WEBSITE: drinknos.com

KEYWORDS: NOS Active Raspberry Lemonade energy drink review, low calorie, hydration beverage

Review for Lost

Takin’ a break from the new NOS active drinks so I don’t feel so much like I’m repeating myself when I write the third.  Stay tuned for that review….

CAFFEINE CONTENT

160 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Big Lots acquisition!

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—4

If we’re going by looks lone, I do like the graffiti-art look of Lost—it holds enough aesthetic appeal that I that I’m even willing to look over the fact that it’s a bit…well, loud.  All the points off come from the fact that this is simply Monster Energy in a different can.

Everything about it screams the fact—the layout, the energy blend, the distribution by Hansen, and the thoroughly asinine paragraph on the side of the can, which is possibly the worst I’ve ever seen on an energy drink—it begins with a rant on how “most energy drinks suck,” so Lost Enterprises something different, something that tasted good and didn’t let up, something that would enable you to stay up partying all night getting smashed alongside scantily clad women that were equally inebriated (okay, so I may be exaggerating on that last little bit…but just a little).  In order to capitalize on this fantastic, totally new idea, Lost gave the people at Monster Energy a call to whip something up and stick it in a can for them, and thus…LOST was born.

Now, if from all this you can’t divine that Lost Enterprises simply paid Monster to put their original energy drink into a can with Lost company logo on it, you should not be on the internet without parental supervision.  Go finish elementary school and come back and read this review when you’re done.

TASTE—8

This is Monster—if there were any doubts before, they are gone, gone, gone now (you might even say that they’re lost…he, he).  If you are a Monster Energy fan (I’m alright with the flavor, though I vastly prefer Lo-Carb) and you find yourself at Big Lots, take the time to stock up on your preferred beverage for a measly 75 cents a can—notwithstanding the bad*ss $1.99 stamp on the front of the can.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Again, this is Monster through and through—from the candy-ish traditional energy drink flavor to the somewhat mediocre kick.  Functionally I was never a fan of Monster Energy—always seemed to be underpowered.  If you’re like me and are looking for a smoother version with more of a punch, go for Monster Energy—Lo-Carb.

KICK (DURATION)—7

Three hours passed before I needed another boost.  There was no crash, but there certainly would have been had I not burnt the sugar off at the gym that morning.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

This is probably the least original and unnecessary energy drink in the history of ever, but if you like Monster, take my advice and stock up on Lost—which at this point is just cheap Monster.

WEBSITE: Defunct.

KEYWORDS: Lost energy drink review, traditional energy drink flavor, Monster in a different can!

Review for NOS Active--Fruit Punch

Once again, a special thanks to Caffeine King for the use of his image.

CAFFEINE CONTENT

224 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

Not ubiquitous, but not terribly difficult to find either.  Frequenting some of the more localized chains should be fruitful.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

Again—functionally this has all its ducks in a row, and aesthetically I have no complaints.  What more can I say?

TASTE—7

This might not be the best-tasting hydration beverage I’ve ever had, but considering it’s based on a flavor I like to call “crap fruit punch,” I’d say it does a pretty good job.  There’s no nauseating sweetness, no bubble-gum aftertaste, no noxious carbonation—just a cherry-based fruit blend that could benefit from a bit more flavor enhancement.  All in all, refreshing and easy to get down—which in most circumstances is about what you look for when you reach for a sports drink.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

On top of the refreshment virtue, NOS Active boasts a serious boost—and in my book excels as a pre-workout drink.  Regardless of how tired I was when I got up (I shoot for 6:00 A.M. and typically make it), I always got a formidable boost out of these beverages that 1) made it really hard to not be doing something as I ate my breakfast, 2) had me leaping up Jacob’s Ladder for my 30 minutes and sustained me through my weightlifting, and 3) did an excellent job of curtailing my usual post-workout fatigue.  This is definitely going to be a go-to beverage with future workouts in mind.

KICK (DURATION)—9

Really, you only need this to last for an hour, hour and a half or so—long enough to get you to and through the gym.  However, I received a blessed four hours of intense but jitter-free energy—so all things considered this supplies a surplus of performance.  Nothing wrong with that.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

NOS Active—Fruit Punch works so well that I’d integrate it into my regular energy product-consuming routine for that alone, but fortunately it tastes good enough that doing so isn’t by any means torture—in fact, the more I think about it the more it grows on me.  Give it a shot and leave your thoughts.

WEBSITE: drinknos.com

KEYWORDS: NOS Active Fruit Punch energy drink review, low calorie, hydration beverage