Review for Golazo

 CAFFEINE CONTENT

100 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

I’ve only ever seen Golazo once in the course of my travels; by and large it’s pretty obscure.  Until more locations decide it's worth selling, good luck finding this.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

First off, the look would not be bad if they worked on the color scheme a little bit.  The Mexican golden eagle with the rattlesnake in its beak, the name “Golazo”, the soccer dude and the slogan (“Born to Score”) work well enough, but pick different shades of green and/or white (preferably both)!  Alone, either is bad, but together, it’s worse.  That out of the way, I do like the concept—bold and exciting, the ambition of the drink is evident in the very name of it—“Golazo”—utilizing the Spanish word “Gol” (‘goal’, the kind one would score in a soccer game) and the suffix “–azo” (used to indicate something that is exceptionally impressive), the drink managed to catch my attention in such a way that I was expecting to be impressed.

TASTE—3

My first impression, i.e. the smell that hit me just after I had opened the can, left me rather concerned—the scent was recognizably mango, but sour and almost pungent—not the kind I came to know and love on the coasts of Guatemala.  Then you taste it, and yikes—it’s as bad as it smells.  Short of unbearable, but still far from good, or even remotely pleasant.  The mango taste is unconvincing and horribly watered down, and badly marred by the presence of extract from the leaves of Stevia rebaudina—a natural sweetener so strong that it most definitely has the potential to be weaponized.  You use more than can fit on the head of a pin to sweeten whatever you are drinking, and the seemingly innocuous ingredient (do you honestly expect a sweetener to be vicious?) bares its teeth and attacks, hewing down your taste buds with the scythe of an awful and overpowering aftertaste unique to stevia (to understand it you have to try it, I can’t describe it; but it’s not something I recommend…from experience, you could very well die).

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

In this respect, Golazo shoots and indeed scores—for toting only 100 mg of caffeine (compare to a mainstream drink like Rockstar or Monster Energy, which pack 160 mg each), it delivers quite a kick (subtle soccer pun).  Sitting here writing this, it’s kind of hard to hit the right keys or hit them as lightly as I normally do—it’s got me reasonably wired and moderately shaky—and is perfect if you’re needing a pick-me-up in the middle of the big game.  (Just don’t drink it if you’re dehydrated…while Golazo will quench your thirst, caffeine is a potent diuretic and has the potential to make the matter worse.)

KICK (DURATION)—8

Golazo likewise made an impression on me in terms of duration of efficacy; it kept me going rather consistently for a few hours before it wore down with a recognizable crash at the finish, the effects of which were temporary.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

While the potency of the beverage was commendable, you’ve still got quite an ordeal ahead of you in terms of taste to get those results.  For this I really can't bring myself to recommend it, but taste is subjective, and I must admit Golazo did leave quite an impression in my mind in terms of the fantastic kick delivered vs. the comparatively low quantity of caffeine, an impression which, like the flavor but for opposite reasons, I am not likely to forget anytime soon.

WEBSITE: golazoenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Golazo Energy Drink review, sports energy, all natural, Stevia rebaudina

Review for NOS--Grape

CAFFEINE CONTENT

260 mg/16 oz. can

359 mg/22 oz. bottle

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

Less common than the original, more so than the Fruit Punch, Charged Citrus, or Loaded Cherry flavors.  Balances out to being fairly customary in terms of commonality.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9 (CAN); 7.5 (BOTTLE)

The NOS—Grape can follows the same basic layout as all drinks in the NOS line, just with a different color scheme.  Given the fact that I typically favor drinks clad in purple, it shouldn't come as a surprise that I like the can that NOS—Grape comes in.  It’s a kind of purple different from most that I’ve seen (electric purple), and it manages to make even that obnoxious yellow look good.  And let me tell you, it looks especially good when it’s fresh out of the refrigerator, with a fine coat of condensation covering the entirety of it…gives me the chills just thinking about it.  The bottle features a different, more standard shade of purple, which is actually not quite as aesthetically pleasing, and is not complemented by the shade of blue the bottle employs.  So…kudos to the can, the bottle…not so much.

TASTE—7

Not quite enough to win me over as a convert, but it still tastes alright.  It’s got pleasant texture to it (moderately thick, reasonably smooth, with just the right degree of tartness to it) with just a hint of something that reminds me of the traditional energy drink flavor, but not quite.  Not quite sure how to describe it, but whatever it is, it works.

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

I don’t think NOS actually knows how to make a weak energy drink—doubt they’ve even tried; what do you think was going through their heads when they decided to stick 260 mg of caffeine into a 16 oz. beverage?  Anyway, point is, the stuff works exceptionally well, delivering as much as could realistically be asked of an energy drink.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Once NOS—Grape (or any NOS beverage, really) gets you going, you can expect to stay that way for a while.  It takes about five or six hours after drinking it for it to wear off to any appreciable extent, and I honestly didn’t notice too much of a crash at all after the fact.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

There’s no denying that the energy boost NOS—Grape delivers is fantastic, and for that reason I feel comfortable recommending it.  The flavor’s not going to please every palate (although it is better than most grape drinks), but given the kick it delivers, this one fault appears minor indeed.

22 OZ. BOTTLE

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

Kick you get out of the bottle is marginally stronger than the can, but not so different for me to get particularly excited.  But once again, NOS delivers in terms of longevity….

KICK (DURATION)—10+

Again, you can expect more as long as you haven’t had two bottles of NOS in the previous 72 hours, but even if you got only 8 hours of energy out of this (as I did), wouldn’t it be worth it all the same?

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33

I like energy more than I do grape soda-esque beverages, and NOS—Grape in a bottle has energy to spare.  And if you do like these grape-inspired beverages…well, NOS—Grape’s 22 oz. bottle should be a no-brainer.

WEBSITE: drinknos.com 

KEYWORDS: NOS Grape Energy Drink review, high performance, NOS Grape 16 oz. can review, NOS Grape 22 oz. bottle review, 16 ounces, 22 ounces

Review for Xenergy Mango Guava Premium

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Not the easiest to come by unless you know where to look.  You actually have to make a point of looking for it, because hoping to stumble across it won't get you anywhere, as it would with other energy drinks.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Xyience does about as good a job as you can ask for in terms of packaging while baring as much aluminum as possible.  I like the simplicity of the design, I like that it’s unique, and in this case I like the colors, but there’s always that connection in my mind of silver cans and watery sugar free drinks, which leads to a bit of a bias on my part.

TASTE—7

Tastes about as real as you could ask for (mangos and guavas), as with the others, but the artificial sweetener aftertaste is pretty prominent here, which takes away from the experience as a whole.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

Definitely one of the more intense of the Xenergy drinks I’ve had so far.  It’s a good, strong kick, with plenty of jitters towards the beginning and a nice heightened alertness after the fact.

KICK (DURATION)—9

The drink’s formidability with respect to intensity is perfectly matched by its duration, which should keep you going about as long as you could realistically ask for.  Given how hard it hits and how long it keeps you going, the crash after the fact is almost understandable.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

If you don’t mind artificial sweeteners and like the flavor of mango and guava, this is definitely your drink.  If you need a drink with a substantial kick that will keep you going and not give out before the job is done, this might also be your drink.  And, if you are counting calories, you have nothing to lose in drinking it.  Even if it’s not my favorite, this is still an all-around solid energy drink.

WEBSITE: www.xyience.com/index.cfm?fa=shop.beverages

KEYWORDS: Xenergy Mango Guava Premium Energy Drink review, authentic taste, official UFC energy drink, low carb, zero calories, sugar free

Review for Xenergy Cran Razz Premium

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Hit and miss.  You’ll find most Xyience products in clusters, so there’s not really one that’s more common than the other.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Still not wild about the aluminum, but the simplicity of the design with the spheres and bar codes and what not are growing on me.  Other than that, the design is dependent upon the colors of the spheres, which I like in this case.

TASTE—10

This is one of those Raiders of the Lost Ark-style beverages—the more I drink it, the more I like it, and the more my previous assessment seems inadequate.  It does actually taste like real cranberries and raspberries, but wisely understates the profound tartness of the cranberries, which could very easily prove distracting from the flavor itself.  It is a bold, full-bodied, and well-rounded flavor, and something I could easily see myself drinking on a fairly regular basis.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9.5

In terms of strength, I find very little lacking in Cran Razz Premium.  The thing that I find most impressive, however, is the fact that there’s so little wasted here—this isn’t a drink conducive to erratic, wanton buzzing.  It lies more on the functional end of the spectrum—when you need to get a lot done and don’t have the energy to do it, this is exactly the sort of drink you want to have handy.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Consistent with my previous experiences with Xyience products, the energy effect is quite long lasting—perfect, in my mind, for a long day of studying or writing a research paper on fetal alcohol syndrome, or for getting through a heck of a busy day at the clinic where you work…whatever you happen to be doing at the time.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.83

Given my experience with Xenergy Cran Razz Premium, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we started to see Xyience break apart the mainstream energy drink monopoly and establish itself as part of the norm.  The flavor of this drink is fantastic, the kick especially effective, and, to top it all off, does all this without loading you with calories.  This is about as real an experience as an energy drink’s going to give you—if you are able to do so, I highly recommend you giving it the opportunity to work its wonders.

WEBSITE: www.xyience.com/index.cfm?fa=shop.beverages

KEYWORDS: Xenergy Cran Razz Premium Energy Drink review, authentic taste, official UFC energy drink, low carb, zero calories, sugar free

Review for NOS--Fruit Punch

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

260 mg/16 oz. can

359 mg/22 oz. bottle

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

So you’re probably wondering why I’m reviewing one of the variants of an original before I review the original, which is not a habit of mine—well, it’s because around here, every retailer seems to be trying to get rid of the NOS Fruit Punch flavor as quick as they can to make room for something that will sell better.  Finally found a place that carried cans that wouldn’t expire in three days, so I picked it up so as to be able to review it at a later time.  And here I am, reviewing it on a later date as it becomes increasingly scarce.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7 (CAN); 9 (BOTTLE)

I like the red with the standard NOS template, but there’s something I find quite disagreeable about that shade of yellow with the red on the can…or maybe it's just the yellow.  I don’t know what it is…for some reason it just doesn’t work in my mind.  Still, it looks alright if you hold it such that you don’t see that antagonistic yellow shade in back.  The bottle doesn’t have that problem, and for that gets an extra point.  And for being in that awesome bottle.

TASTE—7

Much better than some of the fruit punch drinks I’ve had—not quite as sweet, decidedly less gummy, with a little more emphasis on the sour than most.  Still not quite enough to win me as a convert…but hey, I’ve got Venom Energy—Death Adder for that.

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

It’s…intense.  They’re not kidding when they call this a “High Performance” energy drink.  It was kind of slow to get started, but once I was going, I did have the impression of being in a Lamborghini doing 200 down the interstate from Pocatello to Twin Falls.  Something interesting was that the tiredness was still present, but only in the same way a guy being dragged behind the Lamborghini by a rope around his ankles screaming effeminately at the top of his lungs is still present.  Eventually lost it, though, and from that point there was no stopping me.

KICK (DURATION)—10

NOS—Fruit Punch has some pretty impressive mileage (okay, no more vehicular references…until the next NOS product review, at least)…it kept me going for a good five hours at least before I started to burn out.  There was a bit of a crash at the end there, but nothing especially out of the ordinary.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

Lovers of the run-of-the-mill fruit punch flavor, rejoice!  This is your drink.  Even if you don’t, the flavor is still passable, and it's a drink that's definitely worth taking down if you really need something hardcore to keep you going…I can guarantee it will do at least that much.

22 OZ. BOTTLE

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

I got the same effect from this bottle as I did the bottle of the original—very intense, but not insanely so.  Fortunately, it’s got the longevity thing going for it also.

KICK (DURATION)—10+

I drank this only a few days after the bottle of the original, so I was a little desensitized to the caffeine—I got only 8 hours out of it.  Frick, listen to me—EIGHT HOURS.  Even if I wasn’t certain that it’ll deliver the same effect as the original as long as you’re not taking them down one day after the other, that’s still a lot of energy!  So…unless you’re really going overboard on the caffeine as of late, as I was, anticipate a full day of energy.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33-ish

I’m thinking I’ll be averaging the 10+ rating as I would an 11, but I might change my mind about that in the future.  Bottom line: this is a very potent bevarage with a singularly long-lived kick.  Like fruit punch as much as you do energy?  Freak, get a bottle of NOS—Fruit Punch already!

WEBSITE: drinknos.com 

KEYWORDS: NOS Fruit Punch Energy Drink review, high performance, NOS Fruit Punch 16 oz. can review, NOS Fruit Punch 22 oz. bottle review, 16 ounces, 22 ounces

Review for Monster Nitrous--Black Ice

CAFFEINE CONTENT

135 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Not a lot of locations carry Monster Nitrous—Black Ice, significantly fewer than those that carry the other three.  Given how long I’ve seen the others sitting on the shelves, I’m guessing they’re wary about having another Nitrous product collecting dust on their shelves forever.  Plan on having to hunt it down.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Same Monster Nitrous template, except with a background that’s their most chaotic yet—dark and light blues in a pattern that reminiscent of a blizzard.  This sort of thing is good when your slogan is “Unleash the Nitro Beast”—going by the packaging alone,  one almost feels inclined to believe that it may do just that.

TASTE—10

As will all Nitrous products, opening the battery-shaped 12-oz can produced an alarming, borderline violent release of pressure…I will weep if Monster releases another Nitrous product; I just know that one day I will pick up a can that somebody has shaken up and will lose my hand when I open it.  But I digress.  Took my first sip, and…wow.  This stuff is way good; light years better than I ever thought a zero calorie drink would manage to be.  The taste is of raspberries (whether blue or not, I have no idea…is there actually a difference between the flavor of blue and red raspberries?), in all of their tart, delectable glory—every bit as real as though they had been macerated and put straight into the can with a shot of caffeine.  And you know that annoying artificial sweetener taste you get with a lot of those other sugar free/zero calorie/whatever drinks?  Hardly any to speak of—that trademark Monster Nitrous smoothness takes over before any such aftertaste can have an appreciable effect.  Well played, Monster Energy Company…very well played….

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

The kick isn’t precisely stellar; as with many it just takes you to the point of being decidedly awake, which is sometimes all you really need.  Might not be my first choice if I’m looking for something really stout, but for most everything else it will still do a satisfactory job.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Longevity was above the arbitrary average, even though I’m starting to find that more and more drinks are above said average—I may need to raise the bar a bit.  All the same, the drink has nothing to be ashamed of in this regard, and I’d trust it to keep me going in most situations where I need a reasonably long-lasting boost.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

To sum things up, Monster Nitrous—Black Ice is unquestionably the best of the Monster Nitrous line.  The flavor is spectacular, even for a Nitrous drink, and it delivers a reasonably effective kick, especially compared to the rest.  This is one I'd really love to be able to find as easily as most other Monster Energy products.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Nitrous Black Ice Energy Drink review, nitrous oxide, extra strength nitrous technology, zero calories, zero sugar, sugar free