Review for Spider Energy--Widow Maker

CAFFEINE CONTENT

240 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

I’ve found that this (relatively) recent addition to the Spider line is as common as the rest—though unfortunately, the ‘rest’ aren’t so common, either.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8.5

As I have stated at length in past reviews, I really like the Spider motif—I mean, how can I not?  I don’t think I’m going to repeat my lengthy analysis just to avoid redundancy, but I will say I don’t like the maroon color used for the spider on this can—doesn’t jive with the hardcore look of the design itself.

TASTE—8

It took me a while to figure out what exactly it was I was drinking when I started on Widow Maker—it wasn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination, but it was fairly…ambiguous.  About halfway through the can, I recognized it—pomegranate, with nuances of açaí.  It’s quite pleasant to be sure, but doesn’t stir up the strong enthusiasm that both Spider Energy and Lighter Spider did.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

Even though I wasn’t terribly wowed by the flavor of Widow Maker, it’s very hard not to get enthusiastic when it comes to the kick—the challenge is stating anew what I’ve already said twice in a row now, but differently enough that the fervor is adequately communicated.  It suffices me to say that in terms of kick this is a Spider beverage to the core—in addition to the blasting away of any sort of residual fatigue, Widow Maker delivers a nigh unmatched degree of functional capacity.  There were jitters, also, but…they were smooth jitters, not the obnoxious, bounce-off-the-wall-and-annoy-the-everliving-crap-out-of-everyone-else sort.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Five hours of solid energy, no crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

I’ll be sticking to Spider Energy and Lighter Spider just because I prefer the flavor, but I would still not pass up an opportunity to drink Widow Maker, and consider it a wholly worthy addition to a spectacular energy drink line.  And…did I mention it’s only 99 cents for all that?

WEBSITE: spiderenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Spider Energy Widow Maker energy drink review, bargain energy drink, high caffeine

Review for Lighter Spider Energy

CAFFEINE CONTENT

240 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

Far less common than it ought to be—you’ll have to rely more on chance (or Amazon) than widespread availability if you’re hoping to find it.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Lighter Spider Energy doesn’t fit into the usual low carb energy drink mold when it comes to presentation—which I appreciate, because most energy drink companies seem to have the inexplicable desire to make their sugar free/low carb drinks look as bland as possible (see NOS Sugar Free as an example).  Lighter Spider is like unto the original in terms of its raw formidability, but may be even more effective than the latter because of the choice to make the spider in the foreground yellow—makes me think of radioactive spiders, and I find it impossible to think of radioactive spiders without thinking, “cool…radioactive spiders!”

TASTE—9.5

I was honestly surprised when I took my first swig of Lighter Spider and found that it wasn’t a sugar-free version of the original—not that I’m disappointed (though calorie-counting fans of the original might be); quite the contrary, I’m exceptionally pleased with it, and would even go so far as to say that I enjoyed it more than the original.  It’s citrus-flavored, but I couldn’t pin it on any one fruit or combination of fruits—it’s best described as being citrusy excellence in a can, without a hint of artificial sweeteners.

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

Lighter Spider kicks freaking butt in terms of its intensity.  It reminded me of the original in that it affords the drinker a very high level of functionality, but with Lighter Spider, there are even more.  And it’s freaking AWESOME.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Lighter Spider’s quick to get started and, blessedly enough, quite slow to taper off—I got the same five hours of intense energy from this sugar free Spider that I got from the original.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.83

Having drank Lighter Spider Energy, I can say that a great many energy drinks companies, including some major ones, have something to fear in Masters of Beverage (the company responsible for the distribution of Spider Energy products).  This is an insanely awesome beverage, and one that most energy drinks should be ashamed to share the shelves with.  This is a company that deserves to succeed—get a Lighter Spider and you won’t be able to tell me I’m wrong.

WEBSITE: spiderenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Lighter Spider Energy drink review, bargain energy drink, sugar free, zero carb, low carb, low calorie, zero calorie

Review for Spider Energy

It seems that the more I drink and review energy drinks, the less often it is that I find anything that’s actually worth getting excited about.  Especially lately, it seems I have been able to go through entire company lines and have not found a single noteworthy drink in the lot—after a while, this does get a little disheartening.

None of this applies to my new acquisition, Spider Energy.  This is a drink (spoiler alert) that has everything going for it—low price, killer packaging, excellent taste, and a buzz that’s hard to match.  Such is my enthusiasm for it that—if you know of a place where you can get Spider nearby—I would wholeheartedly encourage you to take a break from the reading of this review to buy a can, then come back and finish reading.  Assuming that 1) you’re just going to keep reading regardless of my recommendation, or 2) have taken my advice and are happily in the process of imbibing a can of Spider Energy, I am now going to proceed with the review itself.

CAFFEINE CONTENT

240 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

My one complaint about Spider Energy—in my experience, it’s been hard to come by.  The four flavors I found I happened across at a gas station in La Grande, Oregon; if I’m going to love this energy drink, I would love to be able to actually find it nearby.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

The packaging on Spider Energy is pretty wicked—I mean, just look at it.  A good deal of energy drinks go for the whole EXTREME look—hardcore imagery, grunge fonts…you know what I’m talking about.  In any case, this sometimes work, but oftentimes energy drink companies go overboard—with results that look ridiculous.  Not so with Spider here—it seems that they managed to put just the right amount of hardcore in here, and as a result, this sucker actually looks pretty dang formidable.

And—believe it or not—Spider Energy is actually a bargain energy drink.  That’s right—got a suggested retail stamp of 99 cents on there.  And—again, believe it or not—the stamp actually doesn’t take away from the overall appearance.  Compare the Spider Energy suggested retail stamp to the dollar store-esque sunburst that disgraces Knockout Energy’s can—amazing what a little effort can do, isn’t it?

TASTE—9

Now, after that little revelation about Spider being a bargain, energy drink, I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking the same thing—the drink looks nice.  It’s got my hopes up, but it is a bargain energy drink.  It’s got to tank somehow, right?  This is going to be a Red Bull clone or something like that, something uninspired and distinctly lacking in the palpability department?

Nope.  Spider has nailed their original flavor here—which is orange.  It’s hard for me to place my finger why I like it so dang much—it’s not an honest-to-goodness orange drink, so it doesn’t have anything after the tradition of Viso going for it, but it’s not out there in the orange soda realm, either.

It’s just…good.  The orange flavor, though obviously not orange juice, isn’t fake or chemical-esque.  There’s no heaviness of high-fructose corn syrup (they use actual sugar here), or any bitter aftertastes.  To wrap this section of the review up, I’m going to say it’s like they canned likability, and it turns out that tastes like orange.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

So the flavor’s good but…how does the kick hold up?  Does Spider fall into the typical bargain energy drink trend of supplying either a good taste or a good kick?

Nah, you’ve got both here.  Spider, with its whopping 240 mg of caffeine (a record in a bargain energy drink), delivers a pretty serious kick.  But at the same time, it’s a really nice level of energy to find one’s self at—however intense, it’s not the sort of thing to get you incredibly jittery, leaning towards providing extreme alertness and significantly heightened functionality rather than wasting it’s caffeine on wanton buzzing.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Keeps you going for a while, also—five hours by my watch.  No crash to report.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33

Spider Energy is a great energy drink.  It is seriously something I could see myself buying by the case—and that’s not something I say very often.  If you can find it nearby, go out and grab a can or several (assuming you haven’t already, per my recommendation).  And if it isn’t readily available near you—don’t let that stop you.

WEBSITE: spiderenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Spider energy drink review, Spider Energy review, high caffeine, bargain energy drink

Review for Go Girl Peach Tea

CAFFEINE CONTENT

65 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Limited (in my experience) to the West Coast.  The further east you go, the drier your luck runs.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6.5

I don’t respond to the orange of Go Girl Peach Tea as well as I do to the teals of Go Girl Pomegranate Star Fruit—beyond that, the design is so underwhelming that there’s really nothing to say about the presentation as a whole.

TASTE—9

I’ll be honest—I didn’t count on this one being tasty.  The original Go Girl had a badly watered down berry flavor, and Go Girl Pomegranate Star Fruit was about average on the scale of pleasantness.  Go Girl Peach Tea is very delicious, having am earthy, lightly sweet peach flavor that goes excellent with ice.  I could easily see myself downing two or three of these on a hot afternoon.

KICK (INTENSITY)—3

At 65 mg, this is the least caffeinated beverage I’ve had—at least if you count those where the caffeine content is listed.  One can tell—I could hardly feel anything.  On the plus side, I did experience a daylong relief of my caffeine cravings—though I don’t rate drinks with reference to their utility in addiction recovery.

KICK (DURATION)—3

Hour, hour and a half, maybe?  Hard to tell.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5

I feel bad assigning this rating to Go Girl Peach Tea—really.  I have to report, however, that a single can isn’t going to do much by way of a boost (provided you have my metabolism), but remember that the taste of this drink is very nice, and it wouldn’t be hard at all to drink more than that in one sitting.  Maybe one could get a decent a decent boost thus.

WEBSITE: gogirlenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Go Girl Peach Tea energy drink review, low caffeine, low calorie, low carb, vitamin E, aloe vera, yerba mate

Review for Go Girl Pomegranate Star Fruit

CAFFEINE CONTENT

75 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Any Go Girl product is going to be easy to find if you live on the West Coast (just visit your nearest grocery store), not so much if you live elsewhere.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

I approve of the presentation here, if only because I like the color combination.  Beyond that, there’s not a whole lot to comment on.

TASTE—7

Taste isn’t too bad—star fruit predominates, while the pomegranate presents itself mostly in the form of nuances.  Only thing really disagreeable about it is the noticeable artificial sweetener aftertaste, which is enough to dock a point.

KICK (INTENSITY)—4

Not much of a kick to talk about—it’s enough to take the edge off the fatigue that comes from being up with a 5-month-old for a good deal of the night (and, similarly, to take the edge off a caffeine craving), but beyond that, it didn’t do a whole lot for me.

KICK (DURATION)—4

Effects wore off after a maximum of an hour and a half.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5

This isn’t a bad drink—really.  It also isn’t a drink that’s meant for a 6¢ 1¢¢, 165 lb. white guy that consumes energy drinks on a regular basis…so when it comes right down to it, I’m not the most qualified individual in the world to review this.  Maybe I’ll buy my wife a can at a later point and add her comments to this review, but until then, take my input for what it’s worth.

WEBSITE: gogirlenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Go Girl Pomegranate Star Fruit energy drink review, low calorie, low carb, agave, ovarian cancer awareness

Review for Golazo Mandarina

CAFFEINE CONTENT

100 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Washingtonian energy drinkers, rejoice!  You can’t not find this Evergreen State specialty based out of Seattle.  Everyone else—visit Washington, otherwise you’re sunk!

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

I like everything related to the concept of this energy drink (the name “Golazo”, the “Born to Score” slogan, the triumphant soccer dude, and the design), but I’m not wild about the color combination.  I disliked the green of the original Golazo and Golazo Sugar Free, I liked the red of Golazo Jamaica, but the orange here is just lukewarm—which counters the otherwise awesome packaging by instilling within me a mild sense of apathy regarding it.

TASTE—8

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!

Finally—a Golazo beverage that TASTES good!  I don’t typically go wild for orange-flavored drinks—but this one really isn’t bad.  It tastes convincing where other orange beverages typically taste fake and contrived.  AND WONDER OF WONDERS, I DON’T TASTE THE MOTHERFREAKING STEVIA!  I’m happy about this…I’m really happy about this.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Being a Golazo beverage, it’s a given that this will have an awesome kick—anticipate a healthy jolt of alertness with enough jitters to notice, but not enough to be obnoxious.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Three and a half hours—none to shabby!

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

Good flavor, good kick, all natural ingredients…it seems that Golazo Mandarina has everything going for it.  For 100 mg of caffeine, you really can’t do better.  If you can find this locally, buy it and try it—and if you can’t, don’t worry…they sell it on Amazon.

WEBSITE: vivagolazo.com

KEYWORDS: Golazo Mandarina energy drink review, all natural, hydration energy drink, sports energy drink

Review for Golazo Sugar Free

CAFFEINE CONTENT

100 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Provided you live in Washington State (the company is based out of Seattle), it’s almost impossible to visit a gas station/mini mart/most anywhere and not see Golazo.  As soon as you cross the border, however, you run out of luck.  Given the momentum the company’s picked up, however, it wouldn’t surprise me if we soon started seeing Golazo throughout the pacific northwest.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

I love the concept of Golazo energy drinks.  Everything about this drink tells me I should love it—the name Golazo (Spanish “gol” meaning “goal,” and “-azo” meaning “exceptionally awesome”—so more or less the name of the drink indicates that it not only shoots and scores, but does so in a fashion that few, if any, can match), the triumphant soccer player person, the “Born to Score” slogan—even the eagle eating the snake seems to be portrayed in the fullness of its glory here.  If I weren’t so dang finicky about my color schemes, I would laud the packaging for another paragraph or two.  As is, however, I’ll say that it did get my expectations up, but the grayish-white/faded Astroturf green did cause me to sneer a bit.

TASTE—2.5

In terms of flavor, Golazo Sugar Free shoots…but doesn’t get the goal.  In fact, it misses so badly that it is the flavor equivalent of the ball going into the freaking stands and pegging a 70-year-old lady in the face, breaking her nose, giving her two black eyes, and sending her to the hospital with a concussion.  So what goes wrong here?  First thing is the flavor itself—the mango I’m supposed to taste is only just perceptible.  It doesn’t last long, either; it is quickly swallowed up in the bitter aftertastes of the artificial sweeteners present.  And then, as if all that wasn’t enough, the stevia comes into play.  It is exceptionally easy to go overboard on the stuff, and the makers of Golazo demonstrate the fact by doing just that—with results that approach nauseating.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Writing this section is going to require quite the shift in gears—the flavor has me positively incensed, but I have nothing but good to say about the kick.  Golazo only has 100 mg of caffeine, but notwithstanding the fact, it gave me a heck of a pick-me-up and even got me jittery—not only that, but it was the good kind of jittery; not the kind that makes you uncomfortable to be sitting still for the slightest fraction of a second, but the kind that gets you a little more chatty and has you moving a little more quickly than usual.  It’s the sort of thing I’d love to experience on a daily basis—but, it tastes bad.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Again, this is fairly respectable given the modest caffeine content—three and a half hours easy, with no crash.  Loved it!

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.17

As you can tell, my feelings are very mixed—on one hand, it tastes really bad, but on the other, the kick is frickin’ awesome.  The thing to remember, I guess, is that I’m kind of an exception to the rule—I don’t think everyone’s as sensitive to stevia as I am; the taste of the stuff just makes me sick.  If it doesn’t do that to you, heck, grab a Golazo Sugar Free!

WEBSITE: vivagolazo.com

KEYWORDS: Golazo Sugar Free energy drink review, hydration energy drink, sports energy drink, soccer energy drink, zero sugar, zero carb, zero calorie, low carb, all natural

Review for Golazo Jamaica

When I was in Guatemala, I found and fell in love with a beverage called rosa de Jamaica tea—in Enlish, known as hibiscus tea.  Tart and slightly fruity, it was the sort of thing that I would brew up a quart of when I came home every evening and down before bed—even though it meant waking up for urgent trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Recently, I learned that Golazo had expanded their line to include two new beverages—Golazo Mandarina and Golazo Jamaica.  Now, for those of you that have not read my review for Golazo, I was pretty put off by the flavor—mostly because of the perverse overuse of the natural sweetener stevia.  You can understand, then, the considerable conflict of emotions I felt when I learned of Golazo Jamaica—on one hand, I felt elation at the fact that one of my favorite beverages of all time was going to be made into an energy drink, though on the other, I felt dread at the fact that my beloved rosa de Jamaica was going to be combined with stevia.

Of course, regardless of how it turned out, I knew I needed to get my hands on these new Golazo beverages.  Now, let’s see if Golazo Jamaica lives up to the hibiscus legacy….

CAFFEINE CONTENT

100 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

As long as you live in Washington State, this stuff just about everywhere.  But, if you live in one of the other 49 states in the Union or outside of the United States…I’d say you’re probably out of luck.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

Golazo Jamaica sets the bar pretty high for itself in a number of ways, the first of which is brought about just by calling itself Golazo (for those of you who are not Spanish speakers, the term ‘golazo’ refers to the scoring of a goal in a fashion that is exceptionally impressive).  In addition, it graces its can with an awesome slogan (“Born to Score”), a triumphant soccer dude, and a bold, eye-catching design—the last of which is actually graced with a decent color combination this time around.  As always, Golazo has made me excited to try one of their drinks—and now we get to see if they live up to the standard they’ve set for themselves….

TASTE—5

It is with a heavy heart indeed that I report that Golazo Jamaica isn’t all that great.  First thing you taste is a vague generic fruit punch flavor—clean and convincing, granted, but still not very good.  There are…nuances of hibiscus in there, but the stevia overpowers it before I had time to actually appreciate it.   In retrospect, I should have figured when I saw the words “Hibiscus Punch” on the can and stevia in the ingredients list that this is what was coming.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Notwithstanding the letdown of the flavor, I can’t help but be enthused over the kick—I would gladly drink a better-tasting beverage on a daily basis to get this high level of energy and moderate level of jitters.  I have to mention (again) that this drink only has 100 mg of caffeine—which makes the high efficacy all the more awesome.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Impressive, given (once again) the moderate caffeine content.  100 mg for three and a half hours of energy?  Sweet!

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

This is one of those instances in which I’m going to defer a final judgment to the reader—I really wasn’t fond of the flavor, but I loved how it kicked.  If you don’t mind stevia and don’t mind fruit punch, buy a Golazo Jamaica—this is one of those drinks I’d really love to love, and if I can’t, then someone else might as well.

WEBSITE: vivagolazo.com

KEYWORDS: Golazo Jamaica energy drink review, all natural, hibiscus punch

Review for Wired X Diet B12 Rush

CAFFEINE CONTENT

94 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

Found more at specialty stores than anywhere else—check your local liquor market.  They seem to like to carry energy drinks.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

There is nothing about Diet B12 Rush’s presentation to set it apart from the hordes of nearly identical wires products—just new colors over a bland layout.

TASTE—6

As anticipated, Wired X Diet B12 Rush is a Red Bull clone—but, it is an inferior one, even for a Wired beverage.  Like X Diet Burner, the texture is very thick and heavy, almost like drinking Red Bull syrup—not very appetizing.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

On the plus side, the gross excess of B12 leads to a more substantial kick than one would otherwise experience—rather than just your run-of-the-mill pick-me-up, you get an above average degree of alertness and some fairly noticeable jitters.  The latter of those two phenomena make it a little hard to sit still, but you can get around that by deliberately drinking it when you’re about to do something that requires a good deal of physical activity.

KICK (DURATION)—8

High end of average—three and a half hours.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

Wired X Diet B12 Rush works alright, but the flavor’s a downer.  If you like what this drink’s blend has to offer, however, go with the sugared version—it may have a bit of a medicinal aftertaste, but I’d prefer that to the thick syrupiness of this one.

WEBSITE: wiredenergydrink.com

KEYWORDS: Wired X Diet B12 Rush energy drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, sugar free, low carb, zero carb, diet

Review for Hi Ball Energy--Lemon Lime Energy Water

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Fred Meyer would be my recommendation if you’re actively looking for this, thought the Hi Ball website lists a large number of chains that carries their products.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Again, I’m not terribly wowed by the excessive use of white.  It takes the simplicity of the design and saps the life out of it.  Would it have killed them to have the green and white switch places?  At least that would make it not look bland.

TASTE—7

Lemon lime seltzer water.  If you like it, you like it; if you don’t, you don’t.  I personally don’t mind it, though it has been done many before (outside of the energy drink realm).

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

This was about on par with the others in terms of intensity, though I did feel a bit more jittery after drinking this one.  Not a big enough difference to read into, though.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Pretty standard—about three and a half hours.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

I’d recommend this if you’re really into energy seltzer, but that’s about it.  In the long run, it’s standard fare.

WEBSITE: hiballer.com

KEYWORDS: Hi Ball Lemon Lime Energy Water energy drink review, energy seltzer, energy sparkling water, zero calorie, zero sugar, unsweetened

Review for Hi Ball Energy--Wild Berry Energy Water

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

The website lists a number of locations where their products might be found; the only place I’ve actually seen this sold is Fred Meyer.  But—check the website to see if it’s sold near you.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Wholly average in terms of aesthetics.  The extensive use of white and the simple design actually don’t go too well together here—makes it look plain more than anything else.

TASTE—7

If you like berry seltzer water, I’m sure you’ll like this drink—because that’s basically all it is.  I appreciated the grapefruit variant for being different; this one is, all things considered, quite standard by comparison.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

On the high end of average—at the very least you can count on it for a very thorough pick-me-up.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Also high end of average—three and a half hours tops.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

I like the flavor alright, but in the end, there’s nothing really new or exciting about this beverage.  It’s a shelf filler, and kind of a pricey one at that, at least compared to other energy drinks.  Move along.

WEBSITE: hiballer.com

KEYWORDS: Hi Ball Wild Berry Energy Water energy drink review, zero carbs, zero sugar, zero calorie, energy seltzer

Review for Hi Ball Energy--Grapefruit Energy Water

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Found alongside every other Hi Ball product—if you’ve got a Fred Meyer near you, the natural foods section is your best bet.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

I wouldn’t have minded a little bit more color on this can—I do like the clean, non-EXTREME look, but white’s not the way I would have gone.  Lack of color, for whatever reason, always makes a subconscious link to lack of flavor in my mind.

TASTE—8

If you like seltzer water, you will love this drink.  This is essentially grapefruit energy seltzer—nothing more, nothing less.  Something I also appreciated, and would like to make note of, is that notwithstanding the fact that this is essentially carbonated energy water, there’s no medicinal aftertaste corresponding to the energy ingredients—one would think that the fact that this is essentially water would highlight such a phenomena, and I think Hi Ball deserves recognition for making sure that this was not the case.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

This is not a drink of otherworldly intensity—but I did appreciate it far more than those of the Hi Ball energy juices I reviewed earlier.  It was a comparable experience, but was a lot less…subtle than the others.  It generated enough of a buzz that I found that I was quite enjoying myself as I hurried around the clinic on a busy day, getting a multitude of tasks done in a timely manner and with relative ease.

KICK (DURATION)—8

Comparable to all other Hi Ball beverages—and a host of other energy drinks, really.  Plan on buzzing for about three and a half hours after finishing it.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

Clean, fresh taste, decent kick…if you’re into seltzer and energy, this is definitely your drink.  Enough said.

WEBSITE: hiballer.com

KEYWORDS: Hi Ball Grapefruit Energy Water energy drink review, low calorie, zero calorie, zero sugar, zero carbs, unsweetened

Review for Hi Ball Energy--Wild Berry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

I got this can (and all other Hi Ball products I will be reviewing) at Fred Meyer, though I do not believe distribution to be limited to that one chain.  Check local health food stores and “Natural Foods” sections of local stores; one should be able to locate them thusly.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I very much like the simplicity with which Hi Ball designs their drinks, and must award points for demonstrating that there is not a negative correlation between the simplicity of a design and the efficacy of a design.  I consider the bright red employed by the Cranberry Apple flavor to be more effective than the maroon of the Wild Berry flavor—the maroon just doesn’t convey boldness quite as well as I’d like.

TASTE—7

Better than Cranberry Apple, but not by a whole lot—the wild berry flavor is a little fuller, but there’s still a degree of flatness by which I was turned off to a considerable degree.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

I have to admit that this drink was effective—but I’m still having a hard time being excited about it.  You get a pretty decent pick-me-up without the slightest semblance of jitters—but I was hoping for something more.  There are plenty of situations in which this would be perfectly adequate, but for whatever reason, I didn’t really enjoy it.  Rather than thinking, “WOO!  I’m AWAKE!” I was left thinking, “Alright…I’m awake.  Now what?”

KICK (DURATION)—8

Got your standard three and a half hours out of this drink.  Absolutely no crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.67

Try as I might, I really just can’t seem to make myself care about this drink—sure, it gets the job done, but not to such a degree that I’m hastening to recommend it…or even so much as desirous to recommend it, for that matter.  Drink it if organic energy appeals to you—it’s done as good a job as any such drink so far.

WEBSITE: hiballer.com

KEYWORDS: Hi Ball Wild Berry energy drink review, organic energy drink, natural sugar, natural caffeine, organic sugar, organic caffeine, USDA organic

Review for Bawls Guarana Root Beer

CAFFEINE CONTENT

67 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

I’ve seen it once or twice over the course of my energy-drinking career, but such sightings are few and far between.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this one—it’s a brown Bawls bottle, and is about as appropriate as you could ask for in a “high caffeine” root beer.

TASTE—8

You familiar with A&W?  This more or less tastes like A&W—just with a slightly odd aftertaste, perhaps from the guarana.  In any case, it’s sweet and vanilla-y…most root beer lovers will be pleased.

KICK (INTENSITY)—6

Those who are reading this review and have read my review for the original Bawls in a bottle know what’s coming—this isn’t a terribly intense drink per se, but is excellent if you’re looking for a slight spring in your step rather than a thermonuclear caffeine blast.  I drank this to get me through the last hour of a 12 hour drive, and it did just fine doing that also.

KICK (DURATION)—6

After the aforementioned hour, got home and got all settled in.  Still had an hour of energy left, after which I had no trouble sleeping.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.67

I like the original a little better, but I wouldn’t have a problem drinking Bawls Guarana Root Beer again.  And, if what I’ve described appeals to you, grab it if you can.

WEBSITE: bawls.com

KEYWORDS: Bawls Guarana Root Beer energy drink review, caffeinated root beer, brown bottle