Review for Go Fast

CAFFEINE CONTENT

182 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

While easier to come by than most other products the company produces, you still may have to look around a bit to find it.  Just be patient, and you’re bound to come across it eventually.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

The appearance is relatively standard—lots of red with diagonal logo front and center—but still different enough to ensure that it won’t be overlooked.  A nice touch is the gold emblem certifying its approval by the American Masters of Taste.  However subjective a factor taste may be, the seal itself is quite enough to pique one’s curiosity (now the question is…to get the seal, does one need to actually taste good, or do they just buy the American Masters of Taste out?), as evidenced by my purchase.

TASTE—6

With the seal on the can in mind, I took a swig, and…I don’t know what to think.  It’s unique to be sure, but it is one of the strangest drinks I’ve ever tasted.  There is a taste and sweetness that reminds me of honey (no surprise there; it’s the first ingredient listed on the front of the can), a tartness that reminds me of lemon, and a cooling effect in my mouth and throat after the fact that reminds me of mint…so, maybe carbonated honey, lemon, and mint tea?  I’m going to just say grab a can and try it, decide for yourself what it is and how you feel about it.  I’m still at the point where I’m not sure about either.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

Leaving the thoroughly strange taste behind, Go Fast delivered a heck of a pick-me-up.  There were some very mild jitters, but mostly I just felt very clear of head and very lucid.  If only for that effect alone, it’s an experience worth buying the can for.

KICK (DURATION) —8

We’ve established that Go Fast will make you do just that, and once you’re going, you will be for hours.  The post-energetic period was uneventful, with no crash worth remembering.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

I very much liked the kick Go Fast provided, it’s just the taste that I’ve taken off points for, and that only because I really have no idea what to make of it.  I’m going to give my recommendation if any out there would like to give it a shot; as for myself, I’m going to get a few more reviews taken care of and maybe give Go Fast another shot after that.  I’d really like to see how I feel about the taste a second time around.

WEBSITE: gofastsports.com

KEYWORDS: Go Fast Energy Drink review, stronger for longer, sports energy drink

Review for Jolt Orange Blast

CAFFEINE CONTENT

186 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

As with all Jolt products in the battery can (except the cola), this one’s been discontinued.  Looking to try it?  Good luck finding it.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

The battery can idea is cool, even if it’s a little plain looking.  As with the other cans of the line, it feels very comfortable in one’s hand.  Not 100% certain why it’s so notably so.

TASTE—6

Out of all the discontinued Jot beverages, this is the one I like the most, though I wouldn’t say that I love it…not by a long shot.  It’s got a pretty potent medicinal aftertaste, and the balance between the sweet and sour of the orange flavor is pretty subpar, but still, I could still get it down without having to take breaks for the sake of my gag reflex or wince every time I take a swig.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

I didn’t find the kick to be out-of-the-ballpark awesome, or especially unique in terms of effect.  This said, it still performed admirably, placing me at a point where I was more substantially awake than especially jittery.  Which is a nice place to be.  Sometimes.

KICK (DURATION) —8

I found the extent of effectiveness to provide an experience similar to that I had with Jolt Passion Fruit—long-lasting peak, with a quick tapering off at the end.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

Well, the drink’s discontinued (or at least this variant has been), but really, you aren’t missing a whole lot.  The taste is so-so and the kick is decent.  How many other drinks are there out there that are like that, though?  Or better?  My answer: plenty.  If you missed your chance at it, move on unless you’re desperate, in which case I suggest keeping an eye out for it on eBay.  Otherwise, put off the ashes of mourning and find a better beverage.  There are plenty of ‘em out there.

WEBSITE: joltenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Jolt Orange Blast review, battery can, discontinued

Review for Jolt Passion Fruit

CAFFEINE CONTENT

186 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

I’d call this scarce, but one needs to take into account the fact that it’s been discontinued when contemplating ease in acquisition.  I don’t have a clue how common this would have been back in its day.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Jolt Passion Fruit presents with the same battery motif as Jolt Cherry Bomb, just with yellow highlighting the upper portion.  I’m not especially wild about the look, but I have to take into account the fact that the can feels so dang nice in my hand.  Wish more cans could be like that.

TASTE—5

Jolt Passion Fruit was far easier to get down than Cherry Bomb, even if I was far from wowed by the taste.  The initial sensation is relatively agreeable, but Jolt seems to have done a pretty half-hearted job of masking the taste of the caffeine and whatever other energy ingredients they have in there, a conclusion I reach from the fact that it reminds me more of the Triaminic formula for chest and nasal congestion than it does NOS.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

The kick’s pretty decent, if it’s a bit less kicky than Cherry Bomb.  The sensation was reminiscent of a wall between the fatigue and myself—I had the feeling that the fatigue was there somewhere, but there was no way it was going to get to me anytime soon.

KICK (DURATION) —8

Jolt Passion Fruit was pretty dependable as far as staying power was concerned—my peak energy level (where there was that proverbial wall between myself and my fatigue) was fairly long-lasting, which is why it wasn’t surprising to me that the tapering off of the effectiveness was a little quicker than some.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

To sum it up: good kick, not-so-good taste.  Well, to be perfectly fair, the actual taste isn’t that bad, it’s more the really noticeable medicinal aftertaste that you get after the fact that gets you.  If you don’t care about that sort of thing, well, this might be the beverage for you…if you can find it.  Which I wouldn’t plan on.

WEBSITE: joltenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Jolt Passion Fruit review, battery can, discontinued

Review for Jolt Cherry Bomb

CAFFEINE CONTENT

186 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

Pretty scattered in terms of where it can be found, though that may have something to do with the fact that it’s been discontinued.  I don’t know.  Just a thought.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

The basic idea behind this particular generation of Jolt products is a battery can—long, black section, shorter section of varying colors (reddish-purplish, in this case), with a lid sporting a “+” sign in imitation of a positive terminal.  Overall, it’s a nice idea, even if the result is so-so.  Gotta say, the can fits quite nicely in one’s hand, which I consider to be to its credit.

TASTE—4

I’ve had good and bad experiences with cherry-flavored energy drinks, so I approached this one with an open mind.  The first whiff didn’t make much an impression, so I decided to take a swig—it’s not good.  Think Cherry Coke, except particularly thick and syrupy, with a cherry aftertaste that I found to be pretty sickly.  The overall experience is pretty far south of agreeable.

KICK (INTENSITY) —9

One thing I can say about Jolt is that it should deliver just that—Jolt Cherry Bomb’s kick was pretty formidable…if you want something fast acting and particularly effective, this is certainly an option.

KICK (DURATION) —9

Jolt Cherry Bomb shouldn’t let you down in terms of staying power…it will wake you up, and it will wake you up for hours.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

So…in case you haven’t noticed, Jolt Cherry Bomb is a very effective energy drink, though I’m still not particularly enthused about the fact.  It’s the taste…to me it was just sick.  Don’t get me wrong, I was pleased with the results I got out of it, but there are drinks that taste much better that will do the same job or better, which are preferable to having to choke down an entire can of this stuff.

WEBSITE: joltenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Jolt Cherry Bomb review, Cherry Coke knockoff, battery can, discontinued

Review for Xenergy Xtreme Citrus Slam

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

I found Xenergy Xtreme Citrus Slam to be particularly hard to come by, at least that’s the way things are in my neck of the woods.  But it’s going to vary, depending on where you live.  I might just do away with this category…at a later date.  NOTE (1-7-12)—It appears that Xenergy Xtreme Citrus Slam has been discontinued—it's vanished from the website.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

The lemon yellow and lime green over black didn’t do much for me; it looked to me kind of what Sprite tried to toughen up its image.  Even if the getup isn’t terrible, it is pretty generic-looking.

TASTE—6

If you’ve been reading my Xenergy drink reviews up to this point, you probably expect to hear at least one of the following: 1) that Xenergy Xtreme Citrus Slam does have an authentic taste, as do the rest of the line, and for that is worthy of commendation, and 2) that the artificial sweeteners didn’t do it for me.  In this case, I found the sweetener blend particularly hard to deal with; there were moments where the aftertaste reminded me of the smell of the cadaver lab where I do a lot of studying.  Not pleasant, even if I doubt any of the ingredients here doubles as a tissue fixative.

KICK (INTENSITY) —9.5

All Xenergy drinks tend to rate pretty well in terms of potency, though it should be noted that this one stands out as the strongest of the line I’ve had so far, and should deliver a pretty significant wallop to anyone outside the influence of opiates and/or barbiturates.

KICK (DURATION) —9.5

As I experienced the blessedly potent effects of Xenergy Xtreme Citrus Slam, I began to worry…was it to last?  But a week or so before, the effects of Xenergy Xtreme Orange Fuel had forsaken me in the hour of my greatest need, and I was quite concerned that history was doomed to repeat itself.  Yet…no such thing occurred.  It was a solid four hours before the effects had worn off, and left me without a crash to deal with.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

While contemplating how to word my final verdict, I concluded that while I wasn’t wild about the taste, the kick rocked­—this is definitely a beverage that means business.  For this kind of effect, I’m quite willing to overlook the flavor and give it the thumbs-up.

WEBSITE: www.xyience.com/index.cfm?fa=shop.beverages 

KEYWORDS: Xenergy Xtreme Citrus Slam Energy Drink review, authentic taste, official UFC energy drink, low carb, zero calories, sugar free, discontinued

Review for Bawls Guarana Cherry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

67 mg/10 oz. bottle

100 mg/16 oz. can

EASE IN ACQUISITION—4

Bawls Guarana Cherry is somewhat harder to find than the original, though it isn’t by any means impossible.  10 oz. bottles are also much easier to find than 16 oz cans, but this doesn’t matter unless you’re a collector like unto myself.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8 (CAN); 9 (BOTTLE)

The can features the same layout as the original Bawls Guarana can (Bawls logo/flavor up front and uniform pattern of white/silver circles over the rest of the can), the only difference being the use of metallic red as the background color.  The result is quite pleasing to the eye, even if it has a festive look that I’m not certain was intended (imagine the can at the center of a Christmas wreath…yeah, you get the idea).  The bottle gets an extra point for being very eye-catching with an extreme minimum of pretentiousness.

TASTE—9

The taste is not very different from the original, save for the expected hint of cherry.  As with the original, my first experience was a bit on the lukewarm side, but out of the chilled bottle—delicious.

10 OZ. BOTTLE

KICK (INTENSITY)—6

If you’ve read my review of the original 10 oz. bottle, you have the gist of what’s coming.  The boost I got from drinking 10 ounces of Bawls Guarana Cherry wasn’t the most formidable I’ve had—but, if all you’re looking for is something to give you a little extra pep, you couldn’t ask for better.

KICK (DURATION)—6

That pep I just mentioned lasted me about two and a half hours—like I said, a little on the low end if you’re really needing something heavy duty, but excellent if not.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

Even though I’ll probably be sticking with the original, I would have no trouble picking up a bottle of Bawls Guarana Cherry again, and if you 1) liked the original Bawls, or 2) like cherry, this is something that I would recommend.

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY) —6.5

The kick from a can of Bawls Guarana Cherry lies on the border of what I consider to be adequate—enough perhaps to keep one awake while studying or driving, though looking back, I would probably pick something that packs more of a punch if I find I'm passing out.  I’m not as enthusiastic reporting on the can as I was on the bottle—while the bottle fit into its niche perfectly, this one’s more of an interniche drink—not quite strong enough for what it feels like it’s shooting for.

KICK (DURATION) —8

No real difference from the original—maybe by a hair.  My watch said about three hours and fifteen minutes.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.83

I see no harm in grabbing a can of Bawls Guarana Cherry if one feels thus inclined, but my preference remains for the bottle.  If you like it enough, grab a can, but go with something else if you’re in need of a serious boost.

WEBSITE: bawls.com

KEYWORDS: Bawls Guarana Cherry Energy Drink review, 16 oz. can, 10 oz. clear bottle