Review for Amp Energy--Sugar Free

CAFFEINE CONTENT

142 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—5

Amp Energy—Sugar Free is on the scarcer side of things.  The more I watch for it the less I seem to see it; I would advise that any desirous to satisfy their curiosity by trying it out pick it up sooner rather than later, before it vanishes altogether.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6.5

Due to the vast exposure of aluminum over the periphery of the can, Amp Energy—Sugar Free looks a bit bland, albeit not as much as it could gave been.  I do very much like the black flame and the shade of green employed here and would love seeing Amp do something more complete with this scheme in the future, but until then Sugar Free’s all we’ve got.

TASTE—6.5

I found the taste of Amp Energy—Sugar Free to be curiously distinct from the original Amp Energy.  While the latter was principally passion fruit and orange flavored, the former reminds me more of the less-than-placeable citrus-ish taste of the original Mountain Dew, though it does taste slightly watered down and is overwhelmed a bit by the aftertaste of artificial sweeteners.  If you like Mountain Dew there is a chance you’ll like Amp Energy—Sugar Free, though the aforementioned artificial sweeteners are not skillfully employed here and may be a turn-off to some.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6.5

The kick was rather characteristic of the Amp Energy line; it kept me awake, though for most of the time I still could feel some degree of fatigue.  I found it useful for keeping me from falling asleep over my physiology studies, though for a long drive I’d probably go for something at least a bit stronger.

KICK (DURATION) —8

Amp Energy—Sugar Free actually surpassed my expectations in terms of longevity—while most Amp beverages tend to give out after an average of two hours, I got about 3½ before I felt tired enough that I could have slept had I needed to.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

Well, it’s not spectacular, but by my standards Amp Energy—Sugar Free still does alright.  Health-conscious Mountain Dew lovers will be the most enamored by this beverage, though with the rest of us it will be more of a toss-up.

WEBSITE: ampenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Amp Sugar Free review, zero sugar, sugar free, low calorie, lo cal hi power

Review for True Colors

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Uncertain.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

If you’re looking to get a hold of True Colors head to Big Lots—which apparently is where energy drinks go to die.  If you can’t find it there, you’re probably out of luck (so to speak).

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—4

I’m not sure anybody involved in True Color’s design actually cared about what they were doing.  They name the drink ‘True Colors’ (which doesn’t make a lot of sense as the name of an energy drink anyway), and…they don’t do a thing with the can.  Regular, repeating silver dots over the lower ¾ of the can give the illusion of a fizzing beverage, then above that is the name of the drink, with the word “COLORS” in drab shades of blue, green, and red that somehow remind me of a 1970's television set.  It’s nothing offensive, but still the laziest thing I’ve ever seen as far as presentation is concerned.  Oh, and one more thing—trying to read the ingredients and nutrition facts with those silver dots in the background is freaking obnoxious.  Just had to get that out in the open.

TASTE—5.5

When I read the word “Original” on the can, I knew what I was getting into—Red Bull clone, or a stab at it…ah, the irony.  Sure enough, it was exactly that, but the taste is very substandard as far as Red Bull clones are concerned.  It’s got the beginnings of the Red Bull flavor, but it’s exceptionally sour towards the end and possesses a significantly bitterer (yeah, according to Microsoft Word, that’s more correct than “more bitter”) aftertaste than Red Bull.  I’m not sure that True Colors will find a specific niche among energy (I guess it would be more correct to say, “would find a specific niche”, since the drink was discontinued) except perhaps the odd consumer that is looking for a cheap boost and doesn’t really care about what they get.

KICK (INTENSITY) —6

True Colors has kick enough to take the edge off of one’s fatigue, but should not be counted on for anything more substantial than that.

KICK (DURATION) —6

I got about two hours of efficacy after drinking True Colors, after which I crashed and was done for the day.  If that’s all you need, then I suppose you could go with True Colors.

THE DRINK OVERALL—5.83

All in all, this drink is pretty second-rate.  The flavor is tolerable but not at all pleasant, and the kick is by-and-large unremarkable.  My final verdict: just pass it over.  You want an inexpensive Red Bull clone?  Try Slap Frost Low Calorie, which 1) tastes better, 2) kicks like the dickens, and 3) has only 30 calories per can.

WEBSITE: Was drinktruecolors.com, but the domain’s up for grabs with the discontinuation of the drink.

KEYWORDS: True Colors energy drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, discontinued

Review for NOS--Loaded Cherry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

260 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—3

I have no clue as to why, but this one is actually pretty hard to find.  Over the course of my travels since the time that Loaded Cherry came out, I have only seen it a handful of times.  If you happen across it (it seems to be found most frequently at gas stations or grocery stores with a diversely stocked energy drink section), I’d pick it up; otherwise you’ll probably have to wait a while before you find it again.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

By my estimation NOS looks good in dark red, even to the point where that noxious urine yellow color that NOS is so fond doesn’t really seem offensive.  Only complaint I have with it is that it may be something that gets lost in the energy drink refrigerator unless you’re familiar with NOS and deliberately looking for Loaded Cherry—it has the tendency to blend in with the other NOS beverages (a side effect of the huge vertical “NOS” logo running up the front of the can, which tends to take the color down to a level of secondary consideration), especially in the presence of Fruit Punch.

TASTE—8

I’ve tasted a wide range of cherry beverages with varying results, so my mind was pretty open when I popped open my can of Loaded Cherry.  It’s got that expected cherry soda smell, and once you start drinking the flavor is akin to that of the cherry flavoring in cherry 7-Up, except more concentrated and without the lemon/lime.  It’s a pretty nice experience, especially with the high degree of carbonation the drink possesses.  I almost wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry when I drank it so I could have savored it just a bit more.

KICK (INTENSITY) —10

Even for a NOS beverage, Loaded Cherry hits you pretty dang hard—seeing as it just occurred to me that this is indicated by the “Loaded” in “Loaded Cherry”, I can say that it the performance of the drink is true to the name—I have not had such a dramatic experience with a NOS drink before.

KICK (DURATION) —10

Only a couple of drinks that I’ve had can compare with NOS—Loaded Cherry’s longevity.  The peak of efficacy lasted at least 2½ hours, and it as about six before I felt like the drink had worn off to the degree that I could sleep if I felt thus inclined.   Thing is, even after that, I didn’t exactly feel thus inclined; I don’t know if I should attribute that to the drink or not.  Either way, short of a Spike energy drink (which deliver a kick I consider way north of necessary or even simply excessive) or Rockstar Zero Carb (read that review next), you can’t ask for a better duration of kick than that provided by NOS—Loaded Cherry.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33

For the well-rounded energy drink aficionado, NOS—Loaded Cherry is a must.  The cherry flavor is near the top of the list of best cherry-inspired drinks I’ve had (enough to satisfy all but the most selective cherry lover), and the kick was enough that it caught me off guard.  Given the chance, take the shot and drink this beverage.

WEBSITE: drinknos.com

KEYWORDS: NOS Loaded Cherry energy drink review, high performance, dark red can

Review for Go Fast Coconut Energy

CAFFEINE CONTENT

162 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

As with other Go Fast products that are not the original beverage, Coconut Energy is quite difficult to find, and getting a hold of a can will in all likelihood require a great deal of patience.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

The basic idea for the Coconut Energy can is the same as the original, with diagonal logo and stock graphic—the only difference is the presence of coconuts.  I was not terribly fond of the packaging on the berry and lemonade/lime flavors, but if only for the sheer intrigue produced by the idea of a coconut flavored energy drink, Coconut Energy supersedes its Go Fast peers in terms of ability to grab and hold one’s attention.

TASTE—4

While not the most unpleasant taste experience of my life (that goes to either the pineapple rehydrating solution I had in Colomba, Guatemala or Rockstar 2X), I could not bring myself to enjoy Go Fast Coconut Energy.  It basically consists of the original flavor (carbonated mint and honey tea) with some coconut flavoring and stevia.  Now, I wasn’t a fan of the original flavor (even if it still wasn’t terribly bad), I do like some coconut-flavored products, and stevia…well, stevia is its usual ungodly self here and nothing can change that, but put all these things together…it was just way too weird.  I had a hard time getting it down, and even after I had there was a moment when I came dangerously close to ending my 16-year vomit-free streak (I was saved by the carbonation of the drink, which substituted emesis for a belch).  Is it unique?  Yes.  Is that a good thing?  Not in this case, no.

KICK (INTENSITY) —7

After the taste, it seems kind of pointless for me to say that it worked, but I have to follow through with the entirety of the review and say that it did.  It’s not a strong kick, mind you, but it will wake you up in a hurry (less than five minutes) if that’s what you need.

KICK (DURATION) —8

The duration of energy efficacy was long enough to be worthy of note.  At least 3, 3½ hours can be expected after the starting point before one begins to slow down.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

Regardless of efficacy, I cannot bring myself to recommend this drink.  Having had the experience I did with the taste, if I do not warn against it, I have failed as a reviewer and perhaps deserve to drink another can (but no more than that).  Does it work?  Yes.  But just about every drink I’ve reviewed (with a few exceptions) has to some degree.  If this is sort of the kick you look for, there are plenty of other drinks that will do the same thing without making you ill.  And, if you really need it, there are stronger drinks than this one, and most of them taste just fine.  If you really must give it a try, fine.  But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

WEBSITE: gofastsports.com

KEYWORDS: Go Fast Coconut energy drink review, stronger for longer, sports energy drink, stevia, Stevia rebaudina

Review for Slap Frost Low Calorie

CAFFEINE CONTENT

200 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—8

The only place where I’ve seen any Slap product make an appearance is at Wal-Mart, where it is sold for a mere 98 cents per can.  I do not ordinarily award a high score for ease in acquisition to a drink that is only carried at one chain, but given Wal-Mart’s ubiquitous nature, I believe that in this case the high mark is warranted.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

The design of the can in which this product is sold is about as simple as they come—quadrate logo in blue and white, with additional information concerning the product found in blue/black bands at the top and bottom of the can.  It’s not so remarkable as to be particularly noteworthy, but neither is it so generic that it warrants any special criticism.  This is a bargain energy drink, after all.

TASTE—7

I opened the can for Slap Frost Low Calorie thinking I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into—I envisioned a very sweet Red Bull clone with a significant artificial sweetener aftertaste and the same dirty taste in the mouth as I got after the original, with a hint of a cooling mint sensation in my throat once I was done.  I was right about the first and last parts—this is indeed a Red Bull clone (perhaps just a bit sweet for my liking), I did get that interesting tingling sensation as I was drinking it, but there was no artificial sweetener OR dirty aftertaste to be found.  It isn’t by any means a perfect energy drink, but it really is quite drinkable, and is definitely a better representation of what the company was trying to achieve than the original.

KICK (INTENSITY) —9

I was quite impressed with the kick provided by the original Slap Frost, and its low-calorie counterpart currently under scrutiny matched it in every whit—the drinker gets a substantial amount of energy with a fair amount of jitters, though I noticed that the serious case of the shakes that I got out of the original was absent from this health-savvy variant, which I consider to be to its credit.

KICK (DURATION) —10

It is only now that I notice that on the cans of both the low calorie and original Slap Frost beverages is the phrase “Multi-Stage Energy Supplement.”  I have no idea how this is managed, but it would explain why this drink is so long lasting.  There were times when I honestly thought it would never quit.  It did eventually, but it was only about six hours later before I honestly felt that the drink had stopped working.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

Slap Frost deserved kudos for a fantastic kick, for going out on a limb and trying to create something different for the masses and for delivering it at such a low price, but in truth they really needed to clean up the taste.  In Slap Frost Low Calorie, I feel that they have done just that.  It delivers the same fantastic kick as the original, but without that earthy aftertaste that plagued it.  If you are looking to see what the company is all about, make your drink Slap Frost Low Calorie.

WEBSITE: slapdrinks.com

KEYWORDS: Slap Frost Low Calorie energy drink review, low calorie, 30 calories per can, 15 calories per serving, traditional energy drink flavor, Red Bull clone, sensation energy

Review for Monster Energy--Import Light

CAFFEINE CONTENT

186 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

I don’t know if it's because Import Light is just taking a while to catch on, but by Monster standards it’s a bit hard to come by.  Still, it isn’t by any means impossible or even hard to find, but don’t be frustrated if one location doesn’t have it—just check the next closest, and chances are it’ll be there. 

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

I love that Import Light features the familiar crest and that awesome resealable can of the original; my only real tiffs with the beverage involve the substitution of blue for green in the design, which doesn’t seem to work as well with the silver crest as the green, and the freehand font in which the word “Light” written beneath the Monster Energy logo, which just seems out of place on an otherwise stately format.  Even though the effect lacks creativity and is not quite as impressive as that of the original Import, some of the appeal still remains, and will probably be enough to pique the curiosity of the health-conscious energy seeker.

TASTE—9

Import Light was a thoroughly enjoyable taste experience—it has the same complexity, the same smoothness, the same careful emphasis on sour over sweet as the original; the only thing I have to say against it is that it does betimes have a moderate artificial sweetener aftertaste that proves to be a bit distracting.  That aside, Import Light is exceptionally easy to enjoy, all the more because you don’t have to worry about the untold calories in sugar you’re consuming—because for the most part, they aren’t there.

KICK (INTENSITY) —9

Import light held its own in terms of taste, and in like manner delivered a fantastic kick that left very little to be desired.  It starts quickly (it was already beginning to work its magic as I was finishing up the can), and during the fact I enjoyed a very high level of functional alertness, with jitters enough to be noticed but not to be considered excessive.

KICK (DURATION) —10

Full marks for Import light in this category—I enjoyed hours of a nice, smooth energy boost, and even after the fact staying awake was not a problem for another long while.  I crossed the finish line without a crash, just a pleasant sleepiness indicating that a nap was in order.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.33

With a taste and kick like those delivered by Monster Energy—Import Light, there is very little I can say against it.  Fans of Monster Energy who are engaged in a bit of calorie counting (and even those who aren’t) would benefit from giving it a shot.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Import Light Energy Drink review, Red Bull clone, traditional energy drink flavor, resealable can, low calorie, 57.5 calories