Review for Monster Rehab--Lemonade

CAFFEINE CONTENT

170 mg/16 oz. can

244 mg/24 oz. can

EASE IN ACQUISITION—10

Monster was pretty aggressive about getting this one out there, and consequentially you can find it just about anywhere.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

I have mixed feelings about the Monster Energy Company as a whole, but you can’t deny they know how to package a drink, and that goes more especially for the more recent ones.  Monster Rehab—Lemonade is an excellent example—the chaotic yellow background behind the black Monster M is a winning combination that commands the attention of any energy drink seeker, and even having been out a while, the look never gets old—it always catches my eye as though something brand new.

TASTE—9

I’m guessing that the Rehab line is meant to be competition to Rockstar’s Recovery line—all the stuff about hydration and reviving and what not being things that they share in common.  But anyway, as far as flavor is concerned, Rehab—Lemonade has got its Rockstar Recovery competitor beat—no contest.  While Rockstar Recovery—Lemonade isn’t much more than a caffeinated Crystal Lite, Monster Rehab—Lemonade boasts a much more convincing and somewhat muted lemonade flavor.  The one complaint I had after drinking the 16 oz. can was the faint sucralose flavor—while I don’t find the stuff bothersome as a general rule, it seemed so out of place I couldn’t help but find it distracting.  Then I went through the others of the Rehab line, and came back to review the 23 oz. can, and lo!  I couldn’t detect the sucralose—there was only refreshing lemonade awesomeness.

16 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

Experiencing the effects for the first time, I have to say that Monster did well with the Rehab blend—I took this can down after a day of having a cold, and it perked me right up.  I wasn’t so much jittery as I was just very, very awake and much chattier than usual.  If you’re feeling beat and need something to perk you up, this is definitively the way to go.

KICK (DURATION)—9

The 16 oz. can kept me going long enough to make it through last few hours of the day—dinner, cleaning up around the house, helping my wife tend the son, etc.  I wouldn’t drink it right before bed, but if you’ve got about 4 hours between the time you get home beat and the time you go to bed, this will do just fine.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.67

I have to say I approve of the 16 oz. Rehab—Lemonade.  Monster did a very good job with the flavor, and the kick is commendable, but more than anything, I appreciate how well it fills its niche as a recovery drink and gets you back in the game after said game’s chewed you up and spat you out.  That said, I’m certain that it is useful for a wide array of other energy-requiring situations, but I recommend it be used mostly for its express rehab purposes, and that it (or other Rehab drink) be selected for such before any other drink.

24 OZ. CAN

KICK (INTENSITY)—10

I found the 23 oz. Rehab—Lemonade to be way more potent than the 16 oz. can.  I took a while taking it down, just because I enjoyed it so much, and it wasn’t long after I’d finished that I was experiencing smooth, full-blown caffeine buzz.  It was nice, though, because while it was particularly intense, it wasn’t so hardcore as to be overwhelming—all I can really say is that it was just a great point of energy to be at.

KICK (DURATION)—10

I got five hours of high-functioning efficacy out of the 23 oz. Rehab—Lemonade before I was ready to sit down and have a decent rest—need I say more?

THE DRINK OVERALL—9.67

Well, if you’re going to go the Monster Rehab—Lemonade route, go for the 23 oz. can.   While I have nothing but good to say about the 16 oz. can, the 23 oz. can just delivers more of it—and while more isn’t necessarily better, in the case of Rehab—Lemonade, it most definitely is.

WEBSITE: monsterenegy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Rehab Lemonade energy drink review, Monster Rehab Lemonade 16 oz. review, Monster Rehab Lemonade 23 oz. review, non-carbonated, refresh, rehydrate, revive, 16 ounces, 23 ounces

 

Review for Monster Rehab--Green Tea

CAFFEINE CONTENT

170 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

Not as common as Rehab—Lemonade, but still readily available to interested parties.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Rehab—Green Tea has the same motif as all of the Rehab line, except—hope you’re seated—it employs green in its background to set it apart from the rest.  I deem this getup to be as effective as any of ‘em.

TASTE—10

The flavor is hard to place—it is earthy, with a convincing fruity flavor that I actually quite enjoyed.  I’ve read a couple of reviews that say pineapple (thanks edjunkie and caffeineking101), and it does contain both pineapple and apple juices, but I didn’t really detect either flavor—just that ambiguous fruitiness.  Regardless, it’s a thoroughly refreshing and enjoyable taste experience, and something I have no reservations against recommending.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

The effects hit pretty quick, and when they do, it’s an enjoyable ride.  I got plenty of jitters and a nice blasting away of my early morning fatigue—what more can one ask for?

KICK (DURATION)—9

Even if most of the time spent experiencing the effects of Rehab—Green Tea was at a more muted level, I was able to remain awake and functional for quite a while.  The first four hours of my workday were pretty easy to deal with, and even once the effects were no longer tangible, I didn’t feel in the least like I’d crashed.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

Monster’s brought forth another winner with Monster Rehab—Green Tea; as with the others, it’s a superb drink for its prescribed purposes.  This has the benefit of being one of the better tasting ones, and it’s something I’ll be sure to employ again in the future.  My advice to those who haven’t tried it is to do so, and to those who have I say keep drinking!

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Rehab Green Tea energy drink review, non-carbonated, refresh, rehydrate, restore, 10 calories per serving, 20 calories per can

Review for Monster Rehab--Rojo Tea

CAFFEINE CONTENT

170 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

Like all of the more recent additions to the Monster Rehab line, Rojo Tea is harder to find than the original Lemonade flavor, but still not difficult to come by; one only need look around a bit.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

There’s really not a big difference between the packaging in different drinks of the Rehab line.  Black Monster M, chaotic background of some sort, unique color scheme.  This makes it really hard for me to say anything other than, “HEY!  Rehab—Rojo Tea looks almost identical to the other Rehab drinks, except it’s red!  And the red’s really cool!”  So there you have it.  The most unique thing about Rojo Tea’s look is the color scheme, but given how tight the Rehab schematic is, I am perfectly alright with it.

TASTE—10

Here’s where I get enthusiastic, because Monster Rehab—Rojo Tea is hands down the most refreshing energy drink I’ve ever had.  The taste isn’t all that complex, but it’s a little bit hard to describe…it reminds me a bit of hibiscus tea in that it’s tart, earthy, and somewhat fruity, except there’s no hibiscus tea in it, so I’m attributing the flavor to the rooibos tea and the cranberry, and perhaps the goji berry extract.  In any case it is a supremely delicious drink, and ought to be a first pick in the event that one finds themselves feeling 1) lacking in energy, and 2) particularly thirsty.  I’ve always been skeptical about the idea of a hydrating energy drink, given caffeine’s nature as a diuretic, but after tasting this…my mind is at least open to the possibility.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

I didn’t find myself quite as wired with this one as I did with Protean, but it was still a pretty effective drink, enough to get me significantly awake and noticeably jittery.

KICK (DURATION)—9

One thing that Rojo Tea did have in common with Protean was the tapering off into a less remarkable kick that lasted for most of the time I was experiencing the effects, but it still worked well enough that I could go about the first four hours of my workday without too much difficulty.

THE DRINK OVERALL—9

Monster Rehab—Rojo Tea is second to none as a restorative energy drink.  However, it’s also got the kick to speak for it—it effectively energizes but does not go overboard, and in doing this refrains from overwhelming of the drinker.  In any case, it fits extraordinarily well into its projected niche, and should be a first choice for consumers seeking for a drink that will abide by its claims to “refresh, rehydrate, and restore.”

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Rehab Rojo Tea energy drink review, non-carbonated, refresh, rehydrate, restore

Review for Monster Rehab--Protean

CAFFEINE CONTENT

170 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—7

Not as common as Monster Rehab—Lemonade, but it still shouldn’t be too difficult to track down; chances are someone has it somewhere near where you live.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

Whatever your feelings on Monster, you can’t deny they make a mean-looking can—the Monster M looks awesome in black, and the pale blues/whites contribute to the look very nicely—the colors actually look very appropriate for something containing protein.  Only problem I have with the packaging is that at first glance, it may be mistaken for Absolutely Zero—that’s what happened to me, but then again, I was looking through a foggy glass refrigerator door, so that might actually not be as big a problem as one would think.

TASTE—7

Monster Rehab—Protean is…very interesting.  It has a somewhat fruity flavor from some fruit I can’t really place but did like, and then it’s got a very powdery texture I’m attributing to the protein (hey, get this…“protean” is actually a word!).  It’s mostly for this texture that the drink actually kind of turned me off a bit; the protein kept forming kind of a thin film of a mucilage-like substance towards the back of my tongue, which I kept having to get off.  I was drinking the drink slowly, though, so maybe that had something to do with it.  At any rate, it didn’t bother me all that much, but I can see how it would really turn some people off.

KICK (INTENSITY)—9

You know, this drink strikes me as a breakfast drink.  Maybe it’s the fruity, yogurt-like flavor.  Maybe it’s the fact that I drank it on an empty stomach and I found the result satisfying in the filling sense.  Maybe it’s the fact that from this drinking on an empty stomach in the morning, I’m getting the impression that this is a “get-going”-style drink, even though it’s listed as more of a recovery sort of drink to be taken after intense physical activity.  At any rate, I’m writing this section at the height of the drink’s effects, and I’m pretty wired.  This is a drink that hits fast and hits hard, and is the sort of drink you want to have to set the pace for the day.

KICK (DURATION)—9

The peak of efficacy lasted about an hour, and from there the intensity tapered off sharply—rather than wired I was simply awake and alert with only a small amount of residual fatigue nagging at me.  In this the majority of time spent awake was relatively unremarkable, but I still maintained a degree of functionality for about four hours or so after I first drank it.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8.33

While I like a drink that packs its heavier punch for a little longer, Monster Rehab—Protean is still a useful beverage, and, as I mentioned, good for a morning pick-me-up.  As for the taste, it’s going to be one of those things that you either like or hate, so approach accordingly.

WEBSITE: monsterenergy.com

KEYWORDS: Monster Rehab Protean Review, 15 g protein, non-carbonated, refresh, rehydrate, restore

Review for Tango Energy Juice

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Rumba Energy Juice has 170 mg, so I believe that the same is true for Tango.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—1

This is another drink I found at a grocery outlet—these are actually good places to hunt, if you’re looking to try drinks nobody’s talking about and write reviews that aren’t frequently read (at least compared to my Rockstar and Monster Energy reviews).  Anyway, it’s scarce stuff, so plan on looking for a while if your heart is really set on it.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—4

To get this out of the way: I like the blue/purple combination.  I am not wild about the execution.  My biggest issue is the fact that it really doesn’t look like an energy drink—it looks almost like something you’d buy your kid to pack in his lunch and think you’re doing something good for him because it says “100% juice”.  I don’t feel insecure drinking such, but it does bother me that it could be so easily mistaken for a beverage for a much younger crowd if one is not careful (being a parent, I’m a little nervous about these things—sue me).

TASTE—6

I’m guessing that this is supposed to be something grape-esque, and to a degree it is—but mostly, this tastes like apple juice (which seems to be a popular filler in most juice energy drinks) with Triaminic.  For being 100% juice, it doesn’t taste very convincing, and it’s far too sweet for my adult palate.

KICK (INTENSITY) —7

This drink irks me when it comes to intensity, because—not to be vulgar, but it’s sort of a cocktease sort of thing.  I hadn’t gone through half of the 16 oz. can before I was buzzing—about an 8 out of 10, and I was thinking, “FRICK!  This is going to be AWESOME!”  Anyway, that lasted only about 15 minutes, and then it was about a 7 out of 10, which lasted longer.  But getting me set up for more than making me settle for less…not cool.

KICK (DURATION) —7

Longevity was average—about 3 hours or so.  It did its job for the time being, but it was easy to get to bed when the time came.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.67

I paid 25 cents for this drink, so I can’t really rage about the experience, but it one of the more lackluster drinks I’ve had.  If you can get it for 25 cents like I did, I suppose you could give it a shot, but otherwise just bypass it.

WEBSITE: rumbaenergyjuice.com

KEYWORDS: Tango Energy Juice review, Tango energy drink review, 100% juice, apple, grape

Review for Jamba Blueberry Pomegranate

CAFFEINE CONTENT

80 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Jamba Blueberry Pomegranate is plentiful as long as you live in a place where there’s a Jamba Juice nearby.  They are easy to find around here, but elsewhere…can’t really vouch for elsewhere.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

This is about what you’d expect from an all-natural drink from Jamba—stock images of fruits and a pleasant light green.  It makes me want to go get a Jamba Juice more than anything else, really.

TASTE—6

My feelings on Jamba Blueberry Pomegranate were more mixed than negative, as they were with the other two flavors.  I don’t really taste the stevia in it per se, but there is an excessive sweetness that kind of messes with the blueberry pomegranate experience, which is more intense flavorwise than the others and really isn’t all that bad.

KICK (INTENSITY) —8

This drink, I will confess, caught me off guard—with the exception of the addition of green tea extract, Jamba Blueberry Pomegranate is no different from the others in terms of energy ingredients (I think…), but I didn’t expect it to hit like it did.  It was a mere 10 minutes or so before I was buzzing around my apartment and recognized what I was experiencing as honest-to-goodness jitters—that’s just weird for a drink with a caffeine content this low, but that’s the way it panned out.

KICK (DURATION) —8

Jamba Blueberry Pomegranate actually had a pretty decent staying power—3½ hours or so of efficacy before the end arrived without a crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7.33

The flavor isn’t my cup of Jamba, but this is as much as I’ve gotten out of so little caffeine.   If only for that, I’d say give it a shot.

WEBSITE: jambajuice.com, specifically www.jambajuice.com/jamba-at-home/energy-drinks

KEYWORDS: Jamba Juice Energy Drink review, Jamba Blueberry Pomegranate Energy Drink review, Jamba Energy Drink review, all-natural energy drink, Nestle, stevia, Stevia rebaudina