Review for The Magic Buzz Energy

CAFFEINE CONTENT

80 mg or so, I think.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Found this at Winco, so this is pretty easy for me to get a hold of.  Don’t know if others will have as much success, given that the chain is largely limited to the western states.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8

The Magic Buzz looks about like an all-natural energy drink should—it’s got all the colors down, and has a mellow sort of look that seems to suggest that this isn’t your ordinary energy supplement, but one that you can rely on for a smooth boost of energy rather than a harsh, caffeinated blast.  My only concern is with the name…when you take a name like “The Magic Buzz” and put it together with the term “all-natural” and a 70’s hippie VW bus, what comes to your mind?  My point exactly.

TASTE—3

I really love idea of healthy, all-natural energy.  Knowing full well that this practice of mine isn’t the healthiest in the world (being the one pock mark on the Mona Lisa of my diet and lifestyle), one can understand why anything that can help take the edge off it would be more than welcome.  I think a number of people share my sentiments, so you would think by now that most companies would have come up with a way to deliver such a boost and not make it taste so dang bad.

I have experienced firsthand just how delicious healthy food can be—I can’t for the life of me figure where people get the mindset that it has to be crap in terms of health to taste good.  The people at The Magic Buzz seem to be under the assumption that most (healthy eaters and non-healthy eaters alike) think this way, and that those that eat well are perfectly fine with having their taste buds scorched to bits.

Now, The Magic Buzz isn’t that bad—I have all my taste buds sitting on my tongue as we speak.  But the tropical fruit flavor is rather harsh, and is not helped in the least by the medicinal taste of the energy constituents present.  So by most energy standards, this might be alright for you—but it certainly won’t taste the part.

KICK (INTENSITY)—4

In addition to hoping that my energy supplements taste good, I also like it when they work.  Now, I’ve had relatively low-caffeine products that have worked fabulously, so sensitivity really isn’t an issue for me—which works to my advantage and that of my readers, because I can say with relative certainty that this falls pretty flat when it comes to kick.  The boost was perceptible, but not really intense enough to make much of a dent on the fatigue of a long day, or help me focus on my studies.  Just goes to show that “there” doesn’t mean “enough.”

KICK (DURATION)—4

I think I felt the meager effects for about an hour and a half.  Not cool.

THE DRINK OVERALL—3.67

I like what you were going for, Magic Buzz guys, but this is not a final product to be satisfied with.  Take it back to the drawing board and start from scratch.  Work on the flavor, up the caffeine—and use caffeine from green tea; the hydrous stuff is just marvelous.  If you do decide to do that, contact me and let me know once you think you know you’ve got it down.  I’d be happy to revise my review at that time.

WEBSITE: magicbuzzbrewing.com

KEYWORDS: Magic Buzz energy shot review, all natural

Review for Tigers Blood

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Somewhere around 100-120 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

This is a gas station acquisition—you know, one of those shots you find alongside all the energy tablets, chlorophyll pills, male enhancement products, and all those other bizarre impulse buys you are all the more likely to buy after your brain has been turned to mush by 12 hours on the road.  Keep your eyes peeled, and for the love of Mike, stay away from the Shlong-a-Tron!

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—3

This bottle is, in a word, annoying.  I like that the fact that it looks so different from other shots, which makes it easy to spot among the multitude of 5 Hour clones, but the partiality ends there.  First off, it’s “Tiger’s Blood”, not “Tigers Blood”—there’s no reason or excuse for the retarded grammar here.  Second—the tiger illustrated on the bottle looks to be severely inbred…I don’t know that I want to drink inbred tiger blood.  Third, the rubber stopper’s a pain in the butt to get off.  I love the idea behind the shot, but as far as execution of the packaging is concerned, this is a colossal flop.

TASTE—7

Actually doesn’t taste all that bad—not remarkable, mind you, but really not bad.  You into the flavor of strawberry syrup, only not nearly as thick?  That’s about what Tigers Blood (bugger that lack of apostrophe!) is.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

Not too shabby—expect a decent, mid-level boost, sans jitters.  Excellent for a trip to the gym/recovery after that dang Amp you reviewed hours earlier that sent you crashing to the ground after it wore off.

KICK (DURATION)—7

Three hours, no crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—7

If you can find it for cheap, this isn’t half bad.  Give it a whirl.

WEBSITE: None to be found…

KEYWORDS: Tigers Blood energy shot review

Review for SK Energy Extra Strength--Berry

CAFFEINE CONTENT

Uncertain; probably 160-200 mg.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

SK energy shots are by and large pretty scattered, but if you keep your eyes open and stop to look frequently you’re bound to come across it at some point.  I found mine at Walgreens—which seems to vary quite a bit in terms of its inventory from store to store, so I don’t know if that helps or not.  Look to spend $3+ regardless….

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—7

Street King energy shots have undergone a bit of a de-evolution in terms of their packaging.  While I do love the steel grey background and the stout 2.5 oz. bottle, I could do without 1) the boisterous red “EXTRA STRENGTH” bands, 2) the casual font used for the word “energy” and 3) the base yellow and blue color of the logo—the gold on the older shots just looked all that more striking.

TASTE—5.5

You 50 Cent fans might be disappointed that at least in this respect, your favorite rapper/marketing mastermind has sold out—this is a 5 Hour Energy clone.  Now, I have to grant the company this—this is the best of the lot that I’ve had, being more convincingly berry and somewhat less bitter than most.  The company guarantees a refund if it is not the best energy shot you’ve ever had (just have to send back the bottle, which I won’t do because I’d lose the spot in my collection), so if you’re going by 5 Hour clone standards, that shouldn’t be a problem.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

I don’t know what it is about green tea caffeine that makes it work so well—but I love it.  This shot, which is powered exclusively by the green tea stuff, does not deliver a jittery blast of energy—it is actually quite muted until you get yourself moving around, at which point something (don’t ask me for mechanisms; I have no idea) gets the caffeine working and you find yourself doing everything that you otherwise do (from going to the gym to cleaning up around the house) in an extremely facilitated fashion.

KICK (DURATION)—9

I got a pretty solid four hours of energy out of this shot, after which I did not crash at all—though I was quite ready for bed when the time came.

THE SHOT OVERALL—7.5

If you are 1) wealthy enough that you can buy these frequently without thinking about it, and 2) a 5 Hour Energy clone fanatic, this will probably be the best shot you will have ever had.  Otherwise…well, I have mixed feelings here.  On one hand, I don’t like the taste, and the price frankly blew.  On the other, the energy boost is nothing short of fantastic—I would seriously love to experience something along these lines more often.  I’m going to leave my input at that and let the consumer decide if the price and taste are worth the kick, as I myself am not certain that I would say it is.

As a final note, a portion of all profits from the sale of these shots goes to the United Nations World Food Programme.  If you’d like to donate more than the quarter that the company does per shot, follow the link below:

https://www.wfp.org/donate/fillthecup

WEBSITE: skenergyshot.com

KEYWORDS: SK Energy Shot Berry review, Street King Berry energy shot review, green tea caffeine

Review for Mountain Dew Game Fuel--Citrus Cherry

 

CAFFEINE CONTENT

121 mg

EASE IN ACQUISITION—2

This may have something to do with the fact that I wasn’t aware that this product existed until a few of weeks ago (special thanks to Avery, gentleman and reviewer extraordinaire at addicted2energy.com for posting a review on it), but man alive, this thing was a bugger to find!  It took me weeks of stopping at gas stations before I finally found a place that still carried it, so however common it was during its promotional run, it’s basically gone now.  Fans need not worry, however; chances are it will be back soon enough.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—6

(It occurs to me that you might have a better idea of what to look for if I had taken a picture of this thing while it was full.  I didn’t, so picture this thing filled with a violently fluorescent red-orange liquid.)

This is pretty typical Dew fare in terms of looks—obnoxious “MTN DEW” spelling, bright colors, faded sunburst background, gamer-oriented imagery (Master Chief from Halo 4 this time around), and a general XTREME look.  I get bored very quickly with this “United States of DEW” and “DEW or DEW not…nah, just DEW!” kind of fanfare, but I guess there are enough people out there who are suckers for it that Mountain Dew gets away with it.

On the plus side, I do think the raised “MD” on the gripping portion of the bottle is pretty cool.

TASTE—5

Mountain Dew drinkers are a particular lot—they like their sweeteners high-fructose, their flavors artificial, enough preservatives to mummify you from the inside otu and a spectrum of dyes that will have you urinating a kaleidoscope of colors for weeks after the fact.

That said, if you’re a Dew drinker, then you’re probably going to love Game Fuel, which is essentially Dew with 30 mg more caffeine/bottle.  I do like the cherry citrus flavor, but I had only a few sips to enjoy it before the onslaught of fructose overwhelmed me and all but made me sick to my stomach.  Like I said, Dew drinkers will probably love it and take it down by the gallon, but I would love to have seen 1) a LOT less sugar (and ideally, use sucrose rather than fructose), and some sour to the mix to balance out the excessive sweetness.

Now, I did surprise myself recently by buying a regular Mountain Dew (Review the Dew energy rant coming soon) and actually enjoying it—but it was on ice, which might have had some effect on my perception of the sweetness.  Maybe if I get the chance, I will buy another bottle of this and see if ice helps any.

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

So…30 mg more caffeine than regular Dew!  When I found out a product like this actually existed, I actually found myself excited at the prospect.  Now…how does it deliver?

Honestly, not all that much more than the regular stuff.  It makes a difference to be sure, but the little bit of extra buzz is countered by the general ick I felt after downing 77 g of fructose in that 20 freaking oz. bottle.  Now…from what I’ve seen, most of this drink’s target demographic will probably take down an average of three or four of these at a time (though some might not be so sparing…see Figure 2 to the right), which would probably deliver a decent buzz…assuming their pancreas survives the experience.

KICK (DURATION)—7

Three hours, I think, with plenty of crash to spare.

THE DRINK OVERALL—6.33

I guess the answer to the question of whether I recommend this could be best answered with the counterinquiry “are you a Mountain Dew fanatic?”  If so, then this is the bona fide nectar of the gods, delivering all the sickeningly sweet…goodness (?) of Mountain Dew plus some additional caffeine.  If not…probably best to shy away from this one.

WEBSITE: mountaindew.com

KEYWORDS: Mountain Dew Game Fuel review, Mountain Dew Halo 4

Zen Force Extra Strength--Peach/Mango

CAFFEINE CONTENT

I would say approximately 200 mg if I were to guess, but who knows?

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Most common at smaller grocery chains in Idaho and Utah—so for me, getting this is a cinch.  Everyone else (from what I’ve been able to tell) must order it online.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—9

I lauded the packaging of the original strength bottles for the vibrant colors and for its business-like appearance, with no gimmicks or attention whoring elements to be found.  This extra strength bottle takes that latter attribute to the next level, which notwithstanding its less eye-catching black background manages to communicate to the consumer that it’s reasonably serious about what it does, and while it’s not (spoiler alert) a supremely potent shot, it still earns the regard it instills upon inspection.

TASTE—6

Looking over the bottle as I was about to pour the contents into a shot glass with ice, I got kind of excited—the corresponding flavor in its original strength was simply called “Peach/Mango” while this one is called “Great Tasting Peach/Mango” (emphasis added), and while I wasn’t sure why they would hold out on the flavor until the extra strength shot, I was excited for it!  Turns out, though, that this wasn’t actually the case—not that this shot tastes particularly bad, but it has acquired some of the bitterness that comes with the extra strength territory…I guess you can only add so many energy-promoting ingredients before that becomes inevitable.  But other than that, it tastes just like the original—just make sure you shake it, so you don’t get a huge swallow of bitterness at the end.  Better to taste a bit throughout.

KICK (INTENSITY)—8

As per the instructions on the bottle, I drank this a half-hour before I went to the gym.  I remember feeling the energizing effect coming more quickly than the original strength shots, but other than that, I didn’t notice a huge difference in intensity.  Shrugging, I got dressed and headed to the gym.

Then I freaking tore my workout to bits.

This is the sort of thing that’s pretty hard to describe.  I didn’t feel particularly wired, but I broke my personal record on Jacob’s Ladder for distance covered, lifted every weight with greater ease than I had previously, and then after the fact was able to comfortably jog back to the locker room and head home, where I was able to spend the rest of the day in a state of high productivity, cleaning the house and getting the laundry done in a most time-efficient manner.

Like I said, this isn’t a remarkably intense shot, but in terms of sheer functionality, it is very nearly unmatched.

KICK (DURATION)—10

Five very solid hours passed before the effects gently wore off without a crash.

THE DRINK OVERALL—8

If the original strength shots work for you, go ahead and go with those—the less caffeine it takes to get the job done, the better.  But if you find that they fall a bit short, there’s always Zen Force Extra Strength and it will almost certainly do the job for you.

WEBSITE: zenforceenergyshot.com

KEYWORDS: Zen Force Extra Strength Energy Shot review

Review for Zen Force--Peach/Mango

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CAFFEINE CONTENT

I actually don’t know; my guess is about 100-120 mg, though I will say (to make sure I don’t lose your attention after guessing a low caffeine content) that whatever the dosage, it has to be enough to perform very well in the kick department.

EASE IN ACQUISITION—6

Smaller grocery chains in Idaho and Utah carry it more than anywhere else (apparently it’s also being sold in Hawaii), though if you don’t live there, it’s available for purchase online, and is fairly inexpensive.

APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—8.5

This shot has everything going for it that the original Tropical Berry shot did as far as looks are concerned—simple, but bold and business-like—only thing I don’t like as much is the background color.  I prefer the blood red to the creamy tomato soup red-orange in the background here, but it’s still not a deal-breaker.

TASTE—7

This is another shot I’d had previously, and hadn’t been terribly pleased with—the first half of the bottle was agreeable enough, tasting a great deal like those gummy peach rings you can find in the candy isle of just about any store, but soon yielded to some unfortunate medicinal bitterness that I disliked more than I had liked the peach ring flavor.  Trying it a second time over ice, I found it to be much more agreeable—the medicinal bitterness that had dominated the room-temperature bottle was only detectible at the finish, and I actually found myself enjoying the shot (nothing to floor me, but still good enough to be alright with).

KICK (INTENSITY)—7

In terms of kick, this wasn’t any different than the original tropical berry flavor—it wasn’t immense or formidable, but it did make my trip to the gym as easy as anything else I’ve had, and what’s more, it didn’t for a second feel jittery or overcaffeinated or wrung out—just alert and with a good, very natural-feeling level of energy.

KICK (DURATION)—10

It’s almost always a pity when one’s caffeine fix is over—one second you’re flying high, next you’ve crashed and feel like a burning mass of wreckage scattered over an empty field.  But…this doesn’t happen here.  The natural-feeling energy level lasts a full five hours, and like one’s natural energy it doesn’t send you crashing to the earth after the fact—just ready to sleep like a normal, non-caffeine addict.

THE SHOT OVERALL—8

As long as you drink this cold, the flavor’s not bad; but regardless of how you drink it you’d be hard-pressed to find a more well rounded shot.  As with the tropical berry flavor I’m making this a staple for my trips to the gym, and wholeheartedly recommend you try it for yourself.

If applicable to you, note that this also makes for an excellent way to wean yourself off of caffeine if you are an an addict.

WEBSITE: zenforceenergyshot.com

KEYWORDS: Zen Force Peach Mango energy shot review, low carb, low calorie, diet, all-natural caffeine, green tea energy