I
continue to be confused by my experiences with Loop energy drinks. Everything about them—K-Mart origins,
horrific packaging, derivative flavors, bargain pricing—suggests that they
should set a new standard in poor quality. This especially applies to Loop Blueberry Pomegranate Sugar
Free (well, that’s a mouthful, isn’t it?), which boasts one of the most
derivative flavors since the Red Bull clone and crap fruit punch flavors, and
quite often one of the most poorly executed.
And yet, once again, my expectations have been proven wrong. Read on.
CAFFEINE
CONTENT
Somewhere
between 160 and 200 mg.
EASE
IN ACQUISITION—8
Very
common, due to the wholly unwarranted ubiquity of the K-Mart chain.
APPEARANCE/PRESENTATION—2
Looking
the can over, most (i.e. smart people, people who don’t feel the compulsive
need to review untried caffeinated products, etc.) people get a “stay away!”
sort of vibe and move on. The
thing looks diseased—bare aluminum, abominable print job, name wholly unrelated
to the type of product it is, and that weird flame/manic inkblot test
background—everything that could possibly be used to the demise of this drink’s
hope of appearing appealing comes into play here. Again, if I did not feel the need to review them, as I have done other energy products, I’d have
run as fast as I could until I came to a safe, non-dollar store location—say,
Fred Meyer.
TASTE—7
Popping
open the can and pouring it out into a glass of ice didn’t help the
apprehensions escalated by the can itself—the liquid was quite a shocking shade
of purple; it’s the deep, almost black shade that you expect to see on the
covers of death metal albums.
Taking a deep breath then a swig, I was actually surprised by how not
put off I was. While it’s far from
an artfully executed drink, both the pomegranate and blueberry flavors are at
least passable, and though the artificial sweetener blend is distracting, it’s
the same kind of distracting I got out of Xenergy Cherry Lime Premium, which
for all its faults was a pretty decent energy drink. Loop B.P.S.F. benefits from this association, and I spent
the rest of the drink under the impression that I wasn’t drinking a
bargain-tasting energy drink.
KICK
(INTENSITY)—8
Definitely
more subdued than the jittery kick I experienced from drinking the original
Loop, but this was better suited to its purposes of a long day of calculus
anyway. I felt very alert but not
terribly jittery, which made it easier to focus on the task at hand.
KICK
(DURATION)—9
Not
as long lasting as the original, either, but still satisfactory—four hours,
sans crash…though I was quite ready for a nap after those four hours had
passed.
THE
DRINK OVERALL—8
While
far from the best bargain energy drink I’ve ever had (that goes to Spider
Energy and Lighter Spider energy), Loop Pomegranate Blueberry Sugar Free is
still not a bad drink for a buck.
If anything I’ve stated in this review appeals to you, give it a shot and
tell me what you think.
WEBSITE:
kmart.com
KEYWORDS:
Loop Pomegranate Blueberry Sugar Free energy drink review, zero carb, zero
calories, zero sugar, sugar free, diet, bargain energy drink, Kmart energy
drink
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